[Chip]

Originally Posted by electrolicious

Except that, by not reporting this, the OP wouldn't be "protecting" his family at all, and could in fact be harming them even more. What if the OP has a younger sibling that his father is molesting/raping as well (or an older one who has already been traumatised by it)? The OP has the power to prevent any further actions from happening and/or to give his siblings the courage to be upfront about any sexual abuse they may have experienced at his hands.

While I agree with you in principle, the important issue here is not the family or others, but the OP himself. The OP clearly isn't prepared to take the steps that would lead to further complications with his family, so the immediate issue is getting him safe, and guilting him about what he should or should not do is not the way to help that situation.

It's easy to tell someone to do that, and in practice, it's a lot more complex and not nearly as black and white as it appears. So please be a little more thoughtful here... it is the OP, who is a member of the EC community, that we should be focusing on first.

Saying "His family will be destroyed because of this... and it will all be because this young man had to say something" just sounds like a lot of victim blaming to me. The OP shouldn't feel ashamed for telling and possibly stirring up some drama. That's like telling any non-incestuous rape victim that they shouldn't confess, because the rapist has a family and they'd be heartbroken to see their loved one go to prison. In reality, if the family is destroyed by such a revelation, they should be blaming the father for it, because he's a creep.

I do completely agree with this point. The decision to tell someone about a situation involving childhood sexual abuse is NEVER someone should accept any "blame" for the consequences of; it is the act of the perpetrator that is reprehensible and to blame for any problem that arises, not the act of reporting the crime on the part of the victim.