Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out - View Single Post

**Jim1454** · 5th Apr 2007, 06:11 AM

In Spydar's defence, I can certainly relate to those feelings of uncertainty around coming out at our age. You're afraid of how people will react - not to us being gay, but us deceiving them all these years. (Little do they know that we've been deceiving ourselves all this time as well.)

However, I may have said it above, but I'll say it again - my wife an I are closer now and feel our love for each other now, more than before, now that I've told her and we're being completely honest with each other. What makes our situation different from yours is that we did have two beautiful children, and my wife and i both love them SO MUCH, and I think we feel blessed that we've had the opportunity to have these years together and have these two little girls.

If having children is important to your wife - then you owe it to her to come straight out (pardon the pun) and tell her that you do not want children. That alone may prompt her to move one - without you getting into the issue of your sexual orientation.

It remains squarely with you... Someone shared with me recently a variation of the serenity prayer:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can't change,
The courage to change the one person that I can,
And the wisdom to recognize that person is me."

Good luck.

5th Apr 2007, 06:11 AM	#20
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 42 Posts: 7,977 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: 38 married still in closet In Spydar's defence, I can certainly relate to those feelings of uncertainty around coming out at our age. You're afraid of how people will react - not to us being gay, but us deceiving them all these years. (Little do they know that we've been deceiving ourselves all this time as well.) However, I may have said it above, but I'll say it again - my wife an I are closer now and feel our love for each other now, more than before, now that I've told her and we're being completely honest with each other. What makes our situation different from yours is that we did have two beautiful children, and my wife and i both love them SO MUCH, and I think we feel blessed that we've had the opportunity to have these years together and have these two little girls. If having children is important to your wife - then you owe it to her to come straight out (pardon the pun) and tell her that you do not want children. That alone may prompt her to move one - without you getting into the issue of your sexual orientation. It remains squarely with you... Someone shared with me recently a variation of the serenity prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can't change, The courage to change the one person that I can, And the wisdom to recognize that person is me." Good luck.