[goratrix]

The art of loving, by erich fromm has some really good insights about one night stands.

It states that people fear to be alone, he calls it the fear of separateness. Sex, in particular one night stands, can give you the feeling of not being separate.

Lately I've been feeling this separateness more and more, and I actually considered going to gay bars and clubs... even to a sauna. But while reading that book I finally understood that plain, emotionless sex isn't going to help me get over my separateness.

I decided to wait and meet someone I like, someone I know, someone I can love, and the separateness will eventually disappear. Sex is just something else in a relationship, and that is what I'm seeking: a relationship.

Someone I can just be with for hours, without uttering a word, and still understand each other completely, where there is no such thing as an uncomfortable silence, where I know I can sompletely trust someone. And sex... sex is not my goal in life, the release of sexual tension I can get from masturbation. True, sex does feel better, but It's something that I don't desperately need... not any more anyway.

So, I'm with you in the waiting for Mr Right... even if it is a long wait.

And yes, I know along the way I'll get hurt, heartbroken and that will make me grow stronger.

Anyways, I highly recomend that book to everyone here, even if you've read it, give it another read... you'll always find something you missed the first time... I know I did.

And am now reading it for the third time...