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goratrix · 9th Jun 2005, 06:35 PM

Well, here I am, thursday night once again.

Quick summary of my week before I get to what I have to say tonight: Well, I didn't have anything not normal with tkd. Wednesday I went there earlyer and talked for about an hour with AC... oh, my dear AC... before that a friend told me he was dropping out of college (probably a good choice for him right now) and that he was going to start tkd again (at the same place as me). Well, nothing really important there...

Oh, except perhaps that AC told me he had problems with his computer... I couldn't help myself and offered him help. Today I wasn't really in the mood, so I didn't go to tkd and couldn't help him... but perhaps tomorrow I'll get to go to his house to help him with his computer... finally being a nerd is paying off!! I don't expect anything will happen, still as a friend I want to help him. And if we become friends I could actually come out to him... it would be nice to have him at least know I'm gay... then perhaps my obsession could turn elsewhere... which leads me to the subject of today's post.

Ok, a friend (male, and aware of my sexuality) had some trouble with his computer (yay! being a nerd is really paying off!) and made a backup of his files on my HDD (which means I have complete access to them). Still I didn't check them for that would have been disrispectfull. Anyway, the trouble is that I think he's particularly hot. He is by all means the definition of the perfet guy... Still, straight as ax+by+c=0 (sorry, I AM A NERD!). He's smart, funny, honest, and in some ways really vulnerable, yet confident. The first time i saw him I couldn't stop looking at his eyes... I mean, I actually couldn't! I think he felt weird as I stared at him, and looked away when he looked at me. Well, I actually considered him a friend and nothing more. But lately I've had some feelings for him I can't really understand... like I care about him too much... perhaps even more than I shoudl. I act noticeably different when I'm with him... I don't know what he feels or if he even notices... but I fear.

The fact is that his gf just went away for holidays (for about a month) but for some reasons I won't give out now he's really depressed. And i mean REALLY. I can usually sense when someone is feeling down, but with him there are many people who noticed besides me... so I don't know what to do. On one hand I really want to tell him I like him, still I don't think he can handle it right now...

With him I DO have a friendship I really care about, and wouldn't give up for anything in this world... so... what can I do? Telling him is not an option, falling for him as I fell for AC isn't an option either...

Ok, on the good side of my week: I got 100% on geometry!!! :-)

Love you all, thanks for reading this!

9th Jun 2005, 06:35 PM	#8
goratrix EC Addict Full Member Age: 25 Posts: 570 Join Date: Apr 2005	Well, here I am, thursday night once again. Quick summary of my week before I get to what I have to say tonight: Well, I didn't have anything not normal with tkd. Wednesday I went there earlyer and talked for about an hour with AC... oh, my dear AC... before that a friend told me he was dropping out of college (probably a good choice for him right now) and that he was going to start tkd again (at the same place as me). Well, nothing really important there... Oh, except perhaps that AC told me he had problems with his computer... I couldn't help myself and offered him help. Today I wasn't really in the mood, so I didn't go to tkd and couldn't help him... but perhaps tomorrow I'll get to go to his house to help him with his computer... finally being a nerd is paying off!! I don't expect anything will happen, still as a friend I want to help him. And if we become friends I could actually come out to him... it would be nice to have him at least know I'm gay... then perhaps my obsession could turn elsewhere... which leads me to the subject of today's post. Ok, a friend (male, and aware of my sexuality) had some trouble with his computer (yay! being a nerd is really paying off!) and made a backup of his files on my HDD (which means I have complete access to them). Still I didn't check them for that would have been disrispectfull. Anyway, the trouble is that I think he's particularly hot. He is by all means the definition of the perfet guy... Still, straight as ax+by+c=0 (sorry, I AM A NERD!). He's smart, funny, honest, and in some ways really vulnerable, yet confident. The first time i saw him I couldn't stop looking at his eyes... I mean, I actually couldn't! I think he felt weird as I stared at him, and looked away when he looked at me. Well, I actually considered him a friend and nothing more. But lately I've had some feelings for him I can't really understand... like I care about him too much... perhaps even more than I shoudl. I act noticeably different when I'm with him... I don't know what he feels or if he even notices... but I fear. The fact is that his gf just went away for holidays (for about a month) but for some reasons I won't give out now he's really depressed. And i mean REALLY. I can usually sense when someone is feeling down, but with him there are many people who noticed besides me... so I don't know what to do. On one hand I really want to tell him I like him, still I don't think he can handle it right now... With him I DO have a friendship I really care about, and wouldn't give up for anything in this world... so... what can I do? Telling him is not an option, falling for him as I fell for AC isn't an option either... Ok, on the good side of my week: I got 100% on geometry!!! :-) Love you all, thanks for reading this! __________________ Cicciux Back from beyond. A different dog.