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Old 10th Jan 2017, 12:42 PM   #1
NikkisHideout
Suicidal but alive
Regular Member
 
Gender: Male who doesn't mind acting effeminate
Orientation: Like 90-some% Gay
Out Status: Everyone
Location: Europe
Posts: 3
Join Date: Jan 2017


Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff too)

Alright, so I'm feeling quite confused at the moment. I'm pretty sure I'm gay - I'm definitely attracted to other boys, I think they're hot, I fantasise about them, and if I imagine points later in life, like being in a relationship, moving in, perhaps getting married, then I want to have that with a guy. No doubt on that part.

But, and here's when the weird stuff starts (beware, now shit gets a bit sexual!):

When I fantasise about guys, it's about me being dominated by them. I've never even kissed anyone before, but I'm very much into the idea of submitting to a guy. But I found that I can also get off to thinking about girls, but, like, only above the waist. The idea of (or just mention of) anything below a girl's skirt repulses me and makes me want to throw up, but at the same time, I get off at the thought of female "endowment" above the waist (yes, I'm a blushing virgin who can't even spell "sex" without stuttering).

I really don't know what to feel right now. I want to be dominated by boys, but I also imagine getting sexual with girls, as long as it doesn't involve full-on intercourse. I have no idea what to call that, and I feel like not only I have to be gay (no problems with that, but sooner or later other people will give me trouble for that), but I can't even be properly gay. Also, I've come out to quite a few people, and I'm afraid of having to nullify that statement, because a coming-out isn't really something you can take back.

Every advice would be very appreciated.

Nik

---------- Post added 10th Jan 2017 at 10:01 PM ----------

P.S: I also can't really imagine being with a female - kissing, perhaps, at most, but even that idea feels uncomfortable. Basically I feel fine imagining very explicit things with girls (though I always feel bad afterwards), but the mere thought to actually be in an intimate situation with a girl is really weird or even outright repulsive.
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