Is There Any Hope For Me With This Guy?
There's a guy I met on *** almost 2 years ago that I really like but I've definitely hit a few bumps along the way. I'm going to talk about everything that has transpired from then and up to this point. I'm going to refer to this guy as C, just to keep any privacy concerns and to keep things from getting confusing. Story involves another forum, because C and I are also members of, not going to say which site...privacy concerns.
Anyway, in 2014 I started talking to C on ***, seemed like a great guy, had a lot of shared interests in that we're both kind of geeky. He's going to college working on a Computer Science degree. I was working in the IT department at a "resort" at the time (I say resort in quotations because I don't think they knew the meaning of the word lol).
I was very excited about this guy, I was just waiting for us to set up a date and then out of the blue he tells me he's getting back together with his ex and sorry and so on. He deleted his *** account and didn't hear from him for like a year or better.
So after that time passed, it is maybe August...September 2015 and he pops up on *** again. So I messaged him and we just kind of picked up where we left off, again...things seemed to go off without a hitch. We went on a date, had a great time. The second date was at my house, made him dinner....everything was great. Thought things were going somewhere. Oh and no sex, he's probably the only guy I have dated that I haven't made out with that I haven't shut it down with. I mean a lot of guys don't wait around, I felt that he is worth way more as a person than to worry about getting sex. I could easily get sex from some guy on ****** if that was the whole point, but I digress.
C doesn't any social media and not sure why but he told me about another site which he visits and posts to. It's a forum site, similar to this, won't say which but I decided to join as I can always use advice about things since I generally feel that I am inexperienced at just about everything.
Everything up until now is pretty much typical stuff for the most part, but here's where things get interesting. Another guy who I had tried to talk to but stood me up more than once I find is also on this site and I thought he and C were friends and I so explained to him that he and I had past dealings and we don't like each other. Of course my instinct tells me to just not go to that site anymore but I kept on anyway, I mean after all C is on there and good way to chat with him and so on.
The other guy I will refer to has T. T is a author, has published a few books, one of them turns out was about C. He changed the name but made a gay romance novel around him which is a bit disturbing. I never bought or read the book but my observation was that C being part of the book was not done with his blessing. T told C that it was about him and wouldn't stop sending text messages. T wanted to be with C. That's the story I got from C. My only dealings with T was being stood up and having a heated exchange and that was about it. So T has a bit of a stalking problem, texting constantly following his every move on this site (you can see who viewed someone else's profile), I had to see for myself and sure enough every 20 minutes T was looking at C's profile. I was furious. My thinking is why would C sit back and take this shit from someone he doesn't like, isn't comfortable with. At the time of course I was deeply in a crush with C and I wasn't about to let some prick stalk the guy I like and if you asked me at the time, wanted to marry lol. So what did I do? I did the dumbest thing imaginable, I called T out on his stalking activities on that site and of course backfired immediately as I got texts from C telling me to please stay out of it and it was far too late.
Fortunately, I didn't totally ruin things... I apologized my ass off and we did move past it. He did what most guys wouldn't have done, which was write me off. I mean he had very good reasons to.
The other thing that happened shortly after that did kind of ruin thing for a while was my desperation for a relationship with C. Keeping in mind C is a college student, very busy with assignments and trying to make money and so on. I knew and understood this but what didn't seem to click with me was that he's just not in a good position being in college to really pursue a relationship. I kind of whined and had a bit of a falling out for a time. A few months later he said that he really wanted to be friends with me that he just isn't looking to date anyone right now.
That all being said I do feel pretty lucky that C even acknowledges my existence after kind of embarrassing him online. I get that it was wrong, not my place to take someone else's personal business public...well sort of...no names were mentioned but the other details were. It was all in good intentions and all but I simply didn't think things through at the time.
Anyway, I think one might wonder what the big deal is about this guy. Well he's very handsome, sexy and all that but what really does it for me is his personality, just his way of doing things, humor and just overall kindness...just not something I see in people and I know that he is genuine and very thoughtful... Those things about him make me feel good and it's something I think I really would want in someone in a life long relationship.
I really really like this guy and if there's any chance that something could spawn sometime down the road. I feel that in our conversations that while the idea of dating hasn't been totally been excluded but likewise nothing is set in stone but I think if there a chance he's the kind of guy I am waiting to wait for and see what happens. I mean the odds of meeting another guy who I'm this excited about is pretty slim. I do live a very rural area, many of the people who went to school where I live and did go to college leave for good. There's very few left who are gay, decent, are single and even fewer who like the sort of things I like or would be looking for in a guy.
Anyway, sorry for making this such a long post and hopefully I didn't make myself look like too much of an ass.