Re: Is "Are you a boy or a girl?" really about genitals?
I think that for a lot of trans people, being asked that feels invasive. I don't really mind it because people have been doing it to me for ages and it's usually little kids who ask. The few people who've asked who weren't were doing it because they didn't want to offend me by using the wrong pronouns. So in some, or maybe most cases, I would say that you're right and it's a social thing. But there are some people who are asking about genitals, either because they don't believe that trans people are really the gender they identify as, or because they are confused and they don't realize that it can be offensive. (Or they do realize and just don't care.) Like, if someone asked me 'are you a boy or a girl' and I said a boy and then they kept picking at it (which does happen to some people) that wouldn't be them asking for a social reason like pronouns. I think this probably happens the most to people who present androgynously and/or use neutral pronouns.
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