The Mad Queen
Gender: Female (trans*)
Orientation: Probably lesbian but possibly pansexual
Out Status: The closet is finally empty.
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Join Date: Jan 2015
Re: Calling All Writers!
I'm still not done, but I'll post the first part. I'm just hoping there won't be any real formatting errors when pasting it.
A bit NSFW, but nothing bad yet.
I looked around the engagement area, trying to spot any remaining hostiles, but the last surviving hostile appeared to already be on the ground, stuck between the muddy ground and the Captain's heel. It was a woman, but I knew it wouldn't matter to the Captain.
“Last one standing, huh?” The Captain asked. “Though 'standing' may not be the right word to use when your face is buried in the mud.”
I sheathed my blade and shouted commands to the others as I walked over towards the Captain. “Put out the fires! Throw some mud at it! And carry the wounded into the cave—the medics will take a look at them!” I commanded before I turned my gaze back towards the Captain and an uncomfortable feeling started growing in my chest. I knew exactly where this was going.
“In any case, ” the Captain addressed her captive before she lifted her heel from the woman's head and turned her over to her back with a powerful kick to the side that made the woman groan in pain. The Captain planted her heel firmly on the woman's chest before continuing. “This appears to be quite unfortunate for you.”
I reached the Captain's side, but I kept my distance; I was already covered in various viscera from the battle and I'd rather not be in the splash zone for this one.
“Now I'm going to ask you some questions and if you don't answer them, I will hurt you.” the Captain told the captive rather matter-of-factly. “Do you understand?”
As the Captain spoke, I saw that same old sadistic smile on her face, the same kind of smile you'd see on a mean and gleeful child tearing the legs of a spider. I watched her face, covered in blood splatter from the men and women she had just killed, and how the light from the fires danced across her face. All the while she was looking at the miserable woman at her feet with her malicious, piercing eyes.
Looking at her right now, it was impossible for anybody to say any different—this woman was a demon.
“Why are you here?” the Captain asked, beginning her interrogation.
“W-we were asked to p-p-patrol the forest!” the woman immediately answered. “And to ambush any small companies that we discovered.”
“Don't lie to me.” the Captain said coldly, placing the tip of her sword on her captive's throat. I could see a drip of blood emerge.
“I-i'm not lying, Ma'am! I swear it!”
The Captain gave her an almost reassuring smile. “I believe you.”
“Look around you. Look at the bodies of your comrades. Is this all of them?”
The woman did as commanded, though the unease and nausea of looking at her dead comrades was apparent in her expression. “Yes... Yes, I think so.” she eventually said.
“Good. Now here's the really important question, so if I think you're lying to me, I'll take the other one.”
“Th-the other one?”
That's all she managed to say before she was interrupted by a flash of metal—now all she did was scream.
I looked at the severed arm and the blood spurting out of where it had been and felt my stomach turn. I should say something, but I'm afraid to. I always am when the Captain is like this.
“Was your company the only one in these woods?” the Captain asked her captive, but received only screams of pain in response.
The Captain pushed her heel down on the woman and raised her sword above her head. “TELL ME!”
“YES! IT'S JUST SUPPOSED TO BE US!” she screamed in response.
The Captain lowered her sword and removed her heel from the woman's chest. “Good. Now there will be nobody.”
“Wha-?” the woman whimpered.
Before anybody could say another word, the Captain raised her foot, and I, knowing what comes next, quickly closed my eyes.
I could only hear the loud, cracking sound as the Captain brought her heel down on the poor woman's face and the whimpering stopped.
I opened my eyes and look at the mess the Captain had made of the woman's face before I looked up at the Captain herself. “Some people would say that she was a prisoner of war and that she should have been taken to the nearest allied encampment.” I said, no longer being able to keep quiet.
“And some people should shut their fucking mouths.” She simply responded while sheathing her blade.
“Sorry, Ma'am.” I said apologetically, quickly lowering my gaze. Why did I say that? I know she's completely unreasonable like this.
I raised my eyes again as Li Feng approached the Captain before stopping a couple of meters behind her.
“Casualties?” she asked without looking back at him.
“Six—two dead and four wounded, two of them severely.”
“Seongbak and Yeong Mina, Ma'am.”
The Captain let out a heavy sigh. “Thank you, Li Feng. Tell the others to be ready to move at first light. We're heading to the encampment to treat our wounded.”
“Yes, Ma'am!” Li Feng obeyed and gave a salute before leaving.
When he had left, the Captain let out a barely audible groan. I turned my eyes to her and was relieved to see her face significantly more relaxed, albeit slightly troubled. However, I noticed that she was rubbing her shoulder where she had been stabbed earlier when she had protected me. Was she still hurting from that?
“Cap-” I started before she interrupted me.
“Good work tonight, Kaya.”
“Ah! Yes, Ma'am!” I replied, straightening my back when she addressed me.
She looked back at me, her eyes now soft and her lips wearing the faint smile they almost always wore and I stiffened in my straight backed and serious pose.
My heart started beating faster. I always got nervous when she looked at me like that.
She softly chuckled and looked away again, which caused my body to instinctively relax again. “I'm going to go and clean my sword at the pond we passed shortly before setting up camp. You're in command while I'm gone.” she said as she started to walk towards the treeline.
“Yes, Ma'am.” I replied with a salute, before I watched her vanish between the dark trees.
I stood motionless, thinking about what had just happened and the battle before it. Something was definitely not right.
Why had she jumped in front of that blade? And why was that wound bothering her so much? I had seen her suffer wounds from glancing blows before and they never seemed to slow her down, but this time she had felt as though she wasn't at her best. I had even had to kill a few hostiles that were heading towards her and that it looked like she hadn't noticed.
Don't tell me. When she had asked me to stick close to her before going back into the fight, did she actually say that because she wanted me to cover her back rather than for her to be able to protect me like I had thought previously? Did she really trust me that much?
I stood in place with these thoughts racing through my head for a minute and before I knew it, I suddenly started moving by myself, in between the trees and after her.
That goddamn woman. I could never tell what the hell she was thinking, but this time I was going to have her tell me straight; this time I'm going to see her feelings.
I reached the pond we had passed earlier and found the area to be surprisingly bright in the light of the full moon.
The light made it easy to spot her sitting by the water's edge, carefully cleaning her blade, just like she said she would.
I started to slowly walk towards her, but there's no way she didn't already know I was here. I could barely feel my body at this point; the nervosity was figuratively killing me.
“Why are you here?” she suddenly asked without looking back at me and without stopping what she was doing.
I froze in place about five meters behind her and I felt all my courage drain from me.
“I told you that you were in command in my absence. I didn't take you for one who'd make themselves guilty of dereliction of duty.”
Shit—she was right, I did do that. If I don't give her a damn good reason as to why I'm here, I'm going to be in a lot of trouble. I'm way too dumb at this moment to come up with something and I'm already in the shit here, so I might as well go for it at this point.
“Something was troubling me.” I started, cursing my own impulsiveness.
“Oh?” she inquisitively exclaimed, still not looking at me or interrupting what she was doing.
“Yes—when you asked me to stay close to you as we re-entered the fray tonight, I thought it was so you could keep me safe, but could it be that you actually wanted me to cover your back because you weren't feeling your best?” I swallowed, nervously anticipating her answer. I was in for a penny at this point.
“Hmm, I wonder.” she simply answered
“Ma'am, can't you just give me a straight answer?” I said, the frustration in my voice was clear as day.
“Yes, I did want that.”
I widened my eyes in slight shock. I had suspected, but hadn't allowed myself to believe. “I'm... I'm honored that you trust me to that extent, Ma'am. I'm really sorry.” I apologetically bowed my head.
She finally turned her head to me and gave me a curious look. “Sorry? For what?”
As she looked at me, I shot back into upright position and stiffened in place, before dejectedly lowering my gaze to the ground. “Because you were hurt because of me and your wound was holding you back.”
“Oh, that.” She turned her face away from me again and resumed cleaning her blade. “Don't feel responsible for that. It was my decision to throw myself in between you and the blade.”
I did feel relieved hearing that, but something was still off putting. I had never seen her do something similar before to any of my comrades. Sure, she had saved us all plenty of times, but I had never seen her risk herself doing so.
“So you would have done it for any of us?” I asked, turning my gaze up to her back once again.
She stayed silent for a long time and I slowly lowered my gaze again.
I guess it was dumb to hope. What had I even been hoping? I have no idea what I what I think of her, let alone what I want her to think of me. I'll just cut the conversation here and return to camp. Hopefully, this constituted enough reason for her to not accuse me of dereli-.
Her voice made me jump after the long silence and I stared at her in disbelief. Could it really be that she felt differently about me than the rest of my comrades?
“I care for all my cute little subordinates, but ultimately, my life is the one that matters. I'd sacrifice them all if it meant my survival.” she finished.
“So why? Am I special to you?” The words had come out before I could stop them and I immediately regretted them.
I no longer regretted them.
“Or at least I think so.” She continued. “Truth be told, I have no idea what you are to me.”
She finally stopped cleaning her blade and rose to her feet. She turned and walked towards me, stopping no more than half a meter in front of me. She looked troubled—her eyes were still soft, but she wasn't smiling like she usually does.
“I have no idea what you are.” she started again. “I feel at ease when you're around and can't help but smile when I look at you. I've never felt anything like this before, but I felt attached to you ever since I first saw you, even though you were just one face among many other recruits.
“I don't know what these emotions are, I just know that I don't want them to stop. It'd be bad if you died, so when you were attacked, my body moved on its own. Normally, the only time I feel anything is in battle. Taking lives, watching my enemies run in terror and burning their cities; this is the only thing that starts the fire inside me. I have told you this before.”
There was nothing she could have said that would vex me more; I was feeling my conflicting feelings for her come to a peak. What she just said perfectly showcased the duality of her being, which was the one thing that had perplexed me since the first day I met her. I've seen her do terrible things to innocent people, but I've also seen her compassion when comforting her subordinates when they are in pain.
“Do you hate me?” she suddenly asked and I realized that there was no way I was keeping a straight face and she must have noticed my conflict.
But that question? Did she have to ask that question? I'm trying to figure this out and she puts me on the spot!? Now!? I felt myself snap—fine, if she asks that question, I'm going to answer it.
“Well, if you don't mind me speaking really fucking freely, Ma'am.” I started, meeting her gaze straight on. “I want to hate you. With every fiber of my being I want to hate you so much. I've seen you do terrible things to innocent people. Murder, mutilation, decapitation, laceration, incineration and a lot of other shit that ends with '-tion.' You even know what you're doing is terrible, but you can't be bothered to give a fuck. Watching you treat people like slabs of meat for your own satisfaction is not why I became a soldier.”
She looked genuinely hurt by my opinions, but remained quiet and didn't look away from my eyes, which made me lower my own gaze. And yet, everything suddenly seemed clear to me.
“I want to hate you.” I repeated. “I want to hate you so much. So why is it? Why is it that all I can feel when I think about you is...”
Fuck it. In for a pound.
I quickly darted up to her, grabbed her neck and pressed my lips to hers.
The point of no return. I hope she doesn't kill me for insubordination, but if I was keeping this in any longer, it would have driven me as crazy as she is.
It appears as though she was, quite understandably, surprised by my sudden attack, because when I threw myself at her she fell onto her back with me on top of her. Screw it—standing up or laying down, I don't care, I just want her.
My heart is beating, I feel warm and I can't seem to even think about anything else. There's just her. Her soft lips; her smooth skin; her thick, red hair.
“Hey, what are y-!?” I exclaimed as she suddenly pushed me back with her forearm and then pushed me to the side, causing me to roll onto my back with her following me.
She was sitting on top of me now, with both her hands around my throat. This is bad. Her eyes changed. She's looking at me with those focused eyes that only comes out in battle, when her fire is burning—the eyes that only see prey.
Did I screw up? Is she going to kill me for this? She's eyeing me like a predator deciding whether or not to pounce on some terrified little animal.
And suddenly, she pounced.
She grabbed both sides of my head and forcefully kissed me, her tongue forcing it's way in between my lips. I try to embrace her, but as soon as I make a move, she pins my arms down above my head with her hands. Unsurprisingly, she's appears to be the dominant type.
"I'm not broken.... I will become Alice." #plasticforever