Well, no, I don't want to like this guy. I mean, I like him as a friend, and I would like to keep him as a friend. In a concious(sp?) level I don't like him. I mean, he's a jerk, he hurt this girl's feeling, and he's straight. Si no, I don't WANT to like him. And I make every effort to stop liking him. In fact I reduced the time I spend with him to the minimum, you know, only in classes... and while In class I tend to have my mind focused on not recieving a high kick or something right in the face. So I don't think about anything else. But oh! those few minutes while we change (and we take turns, cause there is no locker room... so we change in the barthroom) and well, I get changed and I have to wait for a couple of other friends. And I see him, all sweaty, in that outfit, or even in common clothing... and my mind goes out of control. I don't want to, but I just can't help it.
Anyway... call me stupid! I invited him to an rpg session next month, I'm introducing a couple of other friends to RPGs and well... it just popped out of my mouth. by the time I realized what I had done it was too late to take it back. I will drop it and hope he forgets... however If he asks me I cannot lie to him.
Oh, crap! I'm so stupid. I HATE feeling like this. It's like sillyness (sp?) takes over my mind every once in a while. |