Welcome to EC!
It's tough to say from just one post, but I can't say as I'm entirely convinced you're gay (or even bi) either. Because whatever else is involved with homosexuality, the absolute groundwork is being sexually aroused/attracted to the same gender. And you don't seem to have that. You don't seem interested in gay porn, for instance, and even most heavily closeted, in-denial guys seem able to let the dick overrule their brain long enough to get into gay porn. The only suggestions that you might be gay are some vague sense of "same-sex attraction" from ten years back, which you point out was during a time when you wanted a buddy.
It sounds like, right now, the idea of (straight) sex isn't all that appealing. That can happen, and it doesn't necessarily mean your inner homo is emerging. It's something that CAN happen, of course, but it almost always manifests itself in things like fantasizing about guys while having sex with your girlfriend, or ogling guys on the downlow, or hooking up with guys online (or fantasizing about same). And, again, I don't get any of that from your post.
IANAP, but if I had to hazard a guess as to what's going on, I'd say there might be an aspect of your personality that you've been keeping down. Not a homosexual, really, but perhaps a more creative, art-y, less-overtly-masculine type. And perhaps having kept it down for so long, it's grown taxing. So maybe that's something to consider for a bit. Open your fantasizes wide open for awhile. Everything's fair game, everybody's accepting, no judgment calls from anyone at any time, no lasting repercussions for anything that happens. If you want to dance around in a tutu (and nothing else) while kicking dogs down the street, then give blowjobs to the entire front line of the Philadelphia Eagles (in the middle of the third quarter, right there on the field), then murder them one by one with your bare hands, you can. Pretend it's all good.
Given that, what DO you want? Is there a creative itch that perhaps needs scratching? Do you do anything "creative"? Write, draw, design, decorate, sculpt, cook, paint, dance, sing, perform, anything? Anything you might want want to give a go?