19th Jan 2011, 01:13 PM
Join Date: Dec 2007
| | Re: Am I freaking out?
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I have begun coming out to people whom are close to me. On many levels it feels great, but I fear that I am overanalyizing everything and sometimes I worry that I moved too quickly.
Some background: I'm in my late twenties and two months ago I first told a close friend of mine that I was "questioning." From there I became more comfortable with the idea of being gay and came to internally accept it. Then I started telling more people.
Recently, I have begun to think I might be bisexual. This sort of scares me. I feel like I want to be gay (the exact opposite of where I was a few months ago), but I keep "testing" myself. I'll look at girls and, sometimes, find them attractive. I think if a good looking girl walked into my room and wanted to have sex, i'd do it. This seems at odds with most gay guys - that they would have no interest in such things.
Throughout my life I never seemed driven to meet girls in a romantic way, so recently the idea of being gay seemed like a reasonable explanation to this "deficiency." On many levels it just answered so many questions and felt more natural. When I don't over think things, I think that I gravitate toward the good looking guys in the room. I tend to find guys much more attractive - I am more likely to notice good looking guys at first glance, etc. But I sometimes find a girl (usually one that I know) attractive.
What is going on? Is this abnormal? Did i make a mistake in coming out? I thought I had everything figured out, and now I'm just getting more stressed....
Story of my life! That is pretty much what is going on with me. I hate the place I am in right now, and I'm not being myself because of it.