Getting Ready To Bottom - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Anonymous · 13th Aug 2008, 11:46 AM

Hey, I'm pretty sure that me and my boyfriend are going to try "real" sex soon, and I'll be bottoming. I definitely think I'll find it pleasurable, but I wanted to know what other people in the forum do when they're going to bottom, I mean as far as making sure it won't be a mess down there. I'm guessing everyone's a little different when it comes to this, so I'g like a few differet peoples' advice. Thanks!

**Lexington** · 13th Aug 2008, 12:57 PM

Congratulations! The first time is really exciting, but you should try to do what you can to make it as good an experience as possible. After all, you only get one "first time", and you want to look back on it fondly.

There's some easy steps you can do to make your first time go smooth.

1. Not surprisingly, go to bathroom before. You might also want to hop in the shower just before as well. Not only will it help clean you up, but the warm water will help relax your muscles.

2. Four things you're going to need:
* Condoms.
* Lube. Lots of it. Water-based! NOT hand lotion!
* Time. Lots of it.
* Patience. Lots of it.

A few things that you might want (but are less essential):

* Latex gloves.
* Hot moist washcloths.
* A small plastic garbage bag.

3. After you fool around for a bit, have your partner slip a condom on. Or do it for him.

Put a bit of lube on the underside of his penis, just behind the head, before you slip it on - this can help him get some more sensation. Then make sure the outside is really lubed up. Don't skimp.

4. Next, get yourself prepped up. Have your friend lube up his fingers (again - don't skimp) and insert one in up to the first knuckle. Have him move slowly, in, out, a bit to the left, a bit to the right. Wait until you feel loose enough, then have him try two fingers, and then three. This part takes a while. It's really easy to get impatient and "get to the good stuff". Resist. The good stuff is only good when you do this part correctly.

5. Once you're quite sure you're all set, you may need to "reprime" him. Make out with him a bit, stroke him, get him back to full erection. Then, let him insert. Again, REALLY slow. Take your time. Wait until he's all the way in, and then STOP. Don't do ANYTHING for about a minute. Give your body a chance to adjust. After a bit, your body will relax, and you guys can get at it.

6. Give him feedback. If you want it slower, faster, harder, softer, whatever - TELL him. He won't be able to just figure it out.

7. Have him try a few different "angles of attack" to see which feels best to you. Hopefully, one of them will hit your prostate just right. How will you know? Oh, trust me - you'll know.

8. It's possible that one of you will finish quite a bit ahead of the other. If that happens, and the "finished" partner is finding continuing on with anal difficult, feel free to stop it there, and switch to something else.

9. Once you're done, have him strip off the condom, and toss it in the plastic bag for disposal. The hot washcloths can be used for a quickie clean-up. If you want, you can cuddle for a bit, hit the shower, or even go for a second round. But if you do decide to go for round two, use a NEW condom -don't reuse!

...have fun.

Lex

Anonymous · 13th Aug 2008, 04:32 PM

Since Lex gave a really great response - I hope the OP isn't mad I ask a question myself! But - what does it mean to "re-use" a condom? As in, taking it off and then putting it back on? Or ejaculating twice into a condom that was never removed from the penis?

13th Aug 2008, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Since Lex gave a really great response - I hope the OP isn't mad I ask a question myself! But - what does it mean to "re-use" a condom? As in, taking it off and then putting it back on? Or ejaculating twice into a condom that was never removed from the penis?

I would say that you shouldn't do either. Both could cause tearing or ripping and you dont want that.

Anonymous · 13th Aug 2008, 05:54 PM

This is the OP.

Thaks for the awesome advice Lex, that'll definitely come I handy : ) The one thing i wanted to know is if, generally, just going to the bathroom beforehand and taking a shower are enough to get clean?

**Lexington** · 13th Aug 2008, 06:08 PM

Tyler's got it. New condom each time.

Is a bathroom trip and a shower enough? For the most part, yes. It'll keep anything from, um, squishing out during the act, anyway. Once you're all done, and he withdraws, there may be a bit on the condom, but it shouldn't be too messy.

Some people will give themselves an enema before doing anal. That's fine as far as it goes, but that's a whole different ballgame. If you've never messed with those before, now is certainly not the time to start. Stick with the shower for now.

Lex

**KaraBulut** · 13th Aug 2008, 07:23 PM

Lex covered the good points.

There's also a sticky on how to prepare. It's here:

http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1107

13th Aug 2008, 08:07 PM

Great advice Lex. Bravo

Anonymous · 14th Aug 2008, 01:42 PM

I just don't see the risk to ejaculating more than once in a condom that was never taken off in the first place...

Alexander · 14th Aug 2008, 01:45 PM

Because the penis becomes flaccid during your "downtime", the idea is that you don't want to anything to escape once the seal is broken.

and who wants a gooey condom on their dick for hours?

**Lexington** · 14th Aug 2008, 01:48 PM

Exactly. Peel it off, give it a wipe with a washcloth, and start afresh.

Lex

Jebs · 14th Aug 2008, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexander

and who wants a gooey condom on their dick for hours?

Haha.. Man, I laughed at this for a few minutes. I even got inspired to draw that situation on Paint.. heh.

Zachary825 · 14th Aug 2008, 02:29 PM

yea that was funny

**KaraBulut** · 15th Aug 2008, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I just don't see the risk to ejaculating more than once in a condom that was never taken off in the first place...

There are a few guys that can stay hard in between times but most guys go soft in between rounds, so it's more practical to take it off, put on a new one and start fresh.

There's other reasons- a fresh condom is likely to break, for example. But the most practical reason for changing condoms is to think about where it just went on the other person- you probably want a clean condom after that.

Anonymous · 17th Aug 2008, 05:36 PM

Wow, great comprehensive advice Lex. I should bookmark this thread for when my time comes

Poring · 18th Aug 2008, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Wow, great comprehensive advice Lex. I should bookmark this thread for when my time comes

I know lol, Lex has one of the best advice and tips on these things.

13th Aug 2008, 11:46 AM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 51,929 Join Date: Dec 2007	Getting Ready To Bottom Hey, I'm pretty sure that me and my boyfriend are going to try "real" sex soon, and I'll be bottoming. I definitely think I'll find it pleasurable, but I wanted to know what other people in the forum do when they're going to bottom, I mean as far as making sure it won't be a mess down there. I'm guessing everyone's a little different when it comes to this, so I'g like a few differet peoples' advice. Thanks!

13th Aug 2008, 12:57 PM	#2
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 43 Posts: 14,221 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Congratulations! The first time is really exciting, but you should try to do what you can to make it as good an experience as possible. After all, you only get one "first time", and you want to look back on it fondly. There's some easy steps you can do to make your first time go smooth. 1. Not surprisingly, go to bathroom before. You might also want to hop in the shower just before as well. Not only will it help clean you up, but the warm water will help relax your muscles. 2. Four things you're going to need: * Condoms. * Lube. Lots of it. Water-based! NOT hand lotion! * Time. Lots of it. * Patience. Lots of it. A few things that you might want (but are less essential): * Latex gloves. * Hot moist washcloths. * A small plastic garbage bag. 3. After you fool around for a bit, have your partner slip a condom on. Or do it for him. Put a bit of lube on the underside of his penis, just behind the head, before you slip it on - this can help him get some more sensation. Then make sure the outside is really lubed up. Don't skimp. 4. Next, get yourself prepped up. Have your friend lube up his fingers (again - don't skimp) and insert one in up to the first knuckle. Have him move slowly, in, out, a bit to the left, a bit to the right. Wait until you feel loose enough, then have him try two fingers, and then three. This part takes a while. It's really easy to get impatient and "get to the good stuff". Resist. The good stuff is only good when you do this part correctly. 5. Once you're quite sure you're all set, you may need to "reprime" him. Make out with him a bit, stroke him, get him back to full erection. Then, let him insert. Again, REALLY slow. Take your time. Wait until he's all the way in, and then STOP. Don't do ANYTHING for about a minute. Give your body a chance to adjust. After a bit, your body will relax, and you guys can get at it. 6. Give him feedback. If you want it slower, faster, harder, softer, whatever - TELL him. He won't be able to just figure it out. 7. Have him try a few different "angles of attack" to see which feels best to you. Hopefully, one of them will hit your prostate just right. How will you know? Oh, trust me - you'll know. 8. It's possible that one of you will finish quite a bit ahead of the other. If that happens, and the "finished" partner is finding continuing on with anal difficult, feel free to stop it there, and switch to something else. 9. Once you're done, have him strip off the condom, and toss it in the plastic bag for disposal. The hot washcloths can be used for a quickie clean-up. If you want, you can cuddle for a bit, hit the shower, or even go for a second round. But if you do decide to go for round two, use a NEW condom -don't reuse! ...have fun. Lex Last edited by Lexington; 13th Aug 2008 at 01:01 PM..

13th Aug 2008, 04:32 PM	#3
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 51,929 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Since Lex gave a really great response - I hope the OP isn't mad I ask a question myself! But - what does it mean to "re-use" a condom? As in, taking it off and then putting it back on? Or ejaculating twice into a condom that was never removed from the penis?

13th Aug 2008, 05:54 PM	#5
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 51,929 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom This is the OP. Thaks for the awesome advice Lex, that'll definitely come I handy : ) The one thing i wanted to know is if, generally, just going to the bathroom beforehand and taking a shower are enough to get clean?

13th Aug 2008, 06:08 PM	#6
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 43 Posts: 14,221 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Tyler's got it. New condom each time. Is a bathroom trip and a shower enough? For the most part, yes. It'll keep anything from, um, squishing out during the act, anyway. Once you're all done, and he withdraws, there may be a bit on the condom, but it shouldn't be too messy. Some people will give themselves an enema before doing anal. That's fine as far as it goes, but that's a whole different ballgame. If you've never messed with those before, now is certainly not the time to start. Stick with the shower for now. Lex Last edited by Lexington; 13th Aug 2008 at 06:12 PM..

13th Aug 2008, 07:23 PM	#7
KaraBulut EC Health Expert Expert Gender: Male Location: US Posts: 5,011 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Lex covered the good points. There's also a sticky on how to prepare. It's here: http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1107

13th Aug 2008, 08:07 PM	#8
Tommy Price Guest Posts: n/a Tournaments Won: 15	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Great advice Lex. Bravo

14th Aug 2008, 01:42 PM	#9
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 51,929 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom I just don't see the risk to ejaculating more than once in a condom that was never taken off in the first place...

14th Aug 2008, 01:45 PM	#10
Alexander EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Red Hook NY Age: 20 Posts: 2,736 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Because the penis becomes flaccid during your "downtime", the idea is that you don't want to anything to escape once the seal is broken. and who wants a gooey condom on their dick for hours?

14th Aug 2008, 01:48 PM	#11
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 43 Posts: 14,221 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Exactly. Peel it off, give it a wipe with a washcloth, and start afresh. Lex

14th Aug 2008, 02:29 PM	#13
Zachary825 Supp Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guys yummy yumm Out Status: All but family Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States Age: 20 Posts: 338 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom yea that was funny

17th Aug 2008, 05:36 PM	#15
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 51,929 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Getting Ready To Bottom Wow, great comprehensive advice Lex. I should bookmark this thread for when my time comes

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