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Old 8th Nov 2009, 05:22 AM   #1
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Default Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

First off I'm not gay. So here's my problem: I got home from school and walked into me and my brothers room(we all share a room) and they were having sex...with eachother. I ran out and I could tll they freaked. so are they gay? If they were having sex, they must be gay right? I can't believe it. They don't seem gay to me. They like sports and stuff. One of em even has a girlfriend. I haven't talked or seen them all day after that. I'm staying the nite at my friends house. Also one of them is over 18 so it's illegal I guess.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 05:35 AM   #2
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

Incest is illegal to begin with.
 
Old 8th Nov 2009, 05:40 AM   #3
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

First thing hi and welcome to EC
I understand that the situation might be terribly awkward for you, but I think you have to calm down.
You said your brothers were having sex together. That might indicate that they are gay, but not necessarily. They also can be bi, or just curious. Homoerotism between sibblings is not as rare as you may think. You can't reach any conclusion before having talked to them, and anyway, if they are gay, that's not a big deal. It's ok to be gay.
Know it might be a good thing for you to talk with them about what you see. Maybe they'll be able to explain you what happened. In anycase, you should ask them to be more careful because if you are all sharing the same room, you don't want to walk into them having sex every once in a while.
You also said that one of your brothers being 18 (and I assume the other one is a minor) having sex for them is illegal. In fact that depends of the age of consent where you live. Of course the fact that they are brothers and have sex together makes the situation far more complicated, but before you do something you might regret, I really think you have to talk to both of them and try to understand where they are coming from.

Take care, Eleanor
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 05:42 AM   #4
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

I don't think incest Is right Either but the reason I came on here was because of the gay part. So are they gay? My head is so messed up right noe.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 06:09 AM   #5
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

Many guys experiment with their sexuality when they're young.

You don't provide a lot of details but it would not be unusual for two guys to be looking at porn and masturbating in the same room together. Even if they were brothers.

As for the question of whether they are gay- that may be something that they don't know for sure at this point.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 06:13 AM   #6
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraBulut View Post
Many guys experiment with their sexuality when they're young.

You don't provide a lot of details but it would not be unusual for two guys to be looking at porn and masturbating in the same room together. Even if they were brothers.

As for the question of whether they are gay- that may be something that they don't know for sure at this point.
I have masutrbated with one of them before but to actually have sex. That's just way over the line.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 06:16 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eleanor Rigby View Post
First thing hi and welcome to EC
I understand that the situation might be terribly awkward for you, but I think you have to calm down.
You said your brothers were having sex together. That might indicate that they are gay, but not necessarily. They also can be bi, or just curious. Homoerotism between sibblings is not as rare as you may think. You can't reach any conclusion before having talked to them, and anyway, if they are gay, that's not a big deal. It's ok to be gay.
Know it might be a good thing for you to talk with them about what you see. Maybe they'll be able to explain you what happened. In anycase, you should ask them to be more careful because if you are all sharing the same room, you don't want to walk into them having sex every once in a while.
You also said that one of your brothers being 18 (and I assume the other one is a minor) having sex for them is illegal. In fact that depends of the age of consent where you live. Of course the fact that they are brothers and have sex together makes the situation far more complicated, but before you do something you might regret, I really think you have to talk to both of them and try to understand where they are coming from.

Take care, Eleanor
I'm not against gay people I just can't believe they are gay(or bi or even curious) and also that they would have sex together. One of them is 18 and the others 16.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 10:25 AM   #8
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

Well, sometimes things like these just happen.
Siblings sometimes do some masturbation together, and hormones run high, and sex is not happening otherwise (having girlfriends doesn't mean that sex is happening). And one of them jokes about just going at it. The other one goes along with it, one thing leads to another... I'm not saying it happens all that often, but it could happen.

That doesn't necessarily mean they're gay. Just ordinary horny teenagers who went a bit overboard with experimenting.

Then again, maybe they, or one of them, are gay or bi and exploring those feelings. Liking sports, having girlfriends, none of those things mean they can't be gay. Lots of gay people lead a life that's in all ways the same as that of straight guys (well, in all ways but one: who they're attracted to). And lots of non-straight guys have girlfriends at one point in their life. If only because it seems to be the expected thing to do.

I can understand you're in shock right now, and think they went way over the line. But I think that this is best solved by honestly talking about it, without running to parents or other authorities (regardless of the legality of it). That might be an uncomfortable talk, but it would clear up things for you and make sure they're not totally in panic all the time about what you're going to do.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 10:47 AM   #9
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

all i say is dont judge them just accept them sexuality isnt somthing you xcan help and im sure they could use some support...i know im crue but it dont really hurt you so i would say calm down and if all else fails just dont get involved

liek filip said these things just happen its life.

as for the stereotype you mentioned the they like sports etc...that dont mean anythign i like sports i was playing football earlier. sexuality doesent define what you can and cant like... i was told only straight peopel can like F1 , that aint true...

fact is it happened they experimented they may have feelings for each toehr , it doesent affect me and isnt my buisness and i wont condem them for it its their choice and this whole incest is wrong thing..well on a reproductive view it aint great but dont worry your brothers wont get pregnant and if they do well you need to ask some questions at home ...

so just and relax you dont really know anything all you know is the physical outcome not the why which is crucial i would say instead of freakign screaming running to friends to actually discuss this with them why they do it how long it had been going on and above all tell tehm you still lvoe thema nd wont judge them ...

and i know youll prob hate me for this post but im more concerned about how they feel right now than you as ifid walked in on two peopel id of been chocked and given tehm their privacy but other way round id be distraught and devistated tehy prob expected you to freak and tell everyone... i knwo my view point here is bias and my logic prob makes me a bad person but its much harder for them sure they choose to do this but they never choose to feel like they did...

so talk to them find the facts and be supoprtive but if it really upsets you jsut dont get involved.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 11:44 AM   #10
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

I understand this is a trying time but I do need to ask, were they having anal sex or oral, I mean yes it sounds like the former not the latter, but it's still an important difference. Oral sex can happen b/w brothers, I won't say its a common thing because masturbating together is a lot more common, but if it is anal sex I can only say talk to them about it. Telling your parents for example could cause chaos for ur family, whereas while it would b quite awkward talking to them, it would be better to find out first.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 08:23 PM   #11
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

Talk to them and see where they are coming from. Teens do experiment, just not usually to that extent. Good luck! =)
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 09:02 PM   #12
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

I tlked to them and one of them is bi and the other is gay. I will try to support thm. Apparantly they r both out to our parnts too. They said tht it was their first time having sex(it was anal) and to not tell our parents. I dont think it wsa their first time. I could just sense it. I'm jsut in shock. I think wat really freaked me out was seeing them have sex.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 09:55 PM   #13
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

I think that was very brave of you to talk to them about the issue. That's the best step. I think over time you'll get over this whole incident. It might not feel like it right now, but you should.
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 10:10 PM   #14
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

beeing supportive for them now is whats important, and i dont want to judge but if they are having sex together to keep from having sex with others, i find that to be a bit of a good thing, if they are only having sex with each other than they know they wont be getting any sort of disease, its a lil weird but boys will be boys and when your horny your horny, at least they are not cruising around looking for random guys (as far as we know), and with that said, just act like it never happened it will be easier for them if you werent awkward about the whole thing, so just relax and know they are still the same brothers you had before you walked in on them
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 10:43 PM   #15
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

agree on the bravery in talking to them it must have been awkward but now they know you can talk to them about questions and concerns...
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Old 8th Nov 2009, 10:44 PM   #16
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Default Re: Walked in on brothers having sex?!!?

Wow.

Fark me sideways! You can't be serious!
And I thought I had it bad. (my story is for a next time)

In any case, I don't think anyone here has the authority to be telling this young man its ok and they are just ..blah blah. I am gay, I am ok...in my skin...I am NOT a basher or homophobic, but that...that...THAT, is just unnatural.

The Problem
Then again, everyone has the right to their own opinion. I am not going to comment whether it is legal or not. That is quite obvious, the breach of 3 laws, right there. (atleast here in Jamaica).:dry

Plus, its just so shocking. Dude, you must be numb. Though I do agree with the Advisor, don't do anything you will regret. Confront them about what you saw. Don't miss a chance to play an integral part in the sexuality development process of your siblings. It can earn you a great deal of respect, trust and loyalty.

The Reason
Nonetheless, you must also understand as you explained, these are very jocky, cocky boys, it seems. It is quite obvious if they are experiencing a common feeling which is WIDELY rejected by society, then they will turn to the pleasure, comfort and understanding of each other to try to overcome or relate to maybe what (to them) is a nostalgic feeling (I could be wrong, just a hunch) Besides, to avoid steryotype and biased opinions, maybe it could be a motive for them creating (maybe a false) illusion of themselves in order to be "normal".

The Recommendation
ALSO, you avoiding them will only grow tension and believe me that is not healthy for any family. If you are comfortable expressing yourself in writing, try sending them a text, both, asking them what happened(exactly), why, it happened and how the $k did it happen. (Um...of course leave out the part o_O )
You can also just get home early one day when you know you will home early, make sure its in a secluded and safe environment (just in case the argument gets heated). As my mother always told me, the walls and trees has ears. So if your thinking about school or church or anywhere extreme public for that matter. Forget it!
It would also be best not to scoop anyone else in on this (or anyone that is close to them, the family or ha the ability to personally target them).
Finally, keep emotions and biblical teachings out of the conversation (on your part anyway). If anyone is to bring it up, let them be the ones to do so; and even when they do. Don't think it, don't entertain it. Remember, the point is to listen to what they have to say, not to get all up into their grill...and if its asked of you, opinions, suggestions, be sure to give a subtle answer(even if its rude).

Conclusion
Be your brother's keeper. Don't make this leave the relationship you have with your brother's divided. And just before ANYONE starts complaining about what I just said above, (about it being unnatural) please note, that I am not looking at this from an ethical or moral stand point. I am looking at this with a logical approach. So me saying its unnatural has nothing to do with whether I believe it is wrong or right.
As someone mentioned earlier, such events are not uncommon. She...He, was right (maybe she *shrugs*). In fact, after hearing what they have to say you may be surprised at the motives. It could have something to do with one or the other, or BOTH boy's sexuality, but for now its best to keep an open mind to whatever you saw.

Lets just hope if it turns out they ARE gay, (which only THEY can determine for themselves) they are not like a Chris Crocker and Scott (oh jebus, Imma say it again, fark me sideways! )-or maybe I should have kept that last part to myself.

All the best.

-Alex
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