Empty Closets Coming Out Resources and a Safe Place to Chat
Welcome Forum Chat Room Resources News Members

Go Back   Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out > Support Area > Anonymous Discussions

Anonymous Discussions If you don't want to put your name to your post you can post anonymously here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 19th Feb 2010, 11:45 AM   #1
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 74,962
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Porn

Just wondering what your thoughts are on porn. Is it bad or a sign of insecurity to look at porn?
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 11:48 AM   #2
PARAWHORE!!!!!!
Full Member
 
x2x2x2x2y2's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: ~I like guys~
Out Status: Everyone, pretty much.
Location: Wonderland (and California, USA)
Age: 20
Posts: 3,973
Join Date: Oct 2009


Default Re: Porn

I think porn is AWESOME.

Unless you get addicted to it. That's not good.
__________________
"THINGS ARE LOOKING UP, OH FINALLY!!" "I believe that there's hope buried beneath it all and...Hiding beneath it all and... GROWING beneath it all!!" -Paramore ...and the lesbians
x2x2x2x2y2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 11:55 AM   #3
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 74,962
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: Porn

I love porn xD maybe a little bit to much :x i think it can be perfectly healthy to look at and all that when done in moderation (i don't always keep the moderation xD). But it really depends on the person watching it to develop a sense of insecurity about how they look/perform. Although i think the look thing is just as present in a lot of other forms of media.
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 12:31 PM   #4
EC Addict
Full Member
 
Swamp56's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Boston, MA
Age: 23
Posts: 2,166
Join Date: Aug 2008


Default Re: Porn

There's nothing wrong with looking at porn as long as it doesn't interfere with your life.
__________________
Swamp56 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 12:42 PM   #5
Fmr EC Health Expert
Full Member
 
KaraBulut's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Location: US
Posts: 5,188
Join Date: Mar 2008


Default Re: Porn

There's a basic principle of medicine that says that too much of a good thing can become a bad thing.

That is also true of porn.

If the alternative is to go out and have sex with a stranger, then porn is a healthier alternative.

If the alternative is to have a relationship with a healthy sex life, then a relationship is probably the healthier option.
KaraBulut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 12:49 PM   #6
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 74,962
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: Porn

Too much porn is bad. That's basically when it interferes with your life. If you would rather watch porn than hang out with friends, that's too much.

As a male however, porn gives me something to do when I'm bored. Let's be honest, masturbation is basically a fun way to pass the time.
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 12:52 PM   #7
Forum Admins
EC Admin
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: northern CA
Posts: 12,497
Join Date: May 2008


Default Re: Porn

I think an overwhelming majority of people look at porn. It can be fun and if handled reasonably, is fine.

The caveat is it's easy to get an unrealistic idea of what people look like, how big their penises are, and lots of other unrealistic things. In real life, (most) people don't have sex at the drop of a hat, stay rock hard for hours on end, always look perfect, go seamlessly without talking from one position to another, or any of those things... they are all fantasies created by the porn companies. Much of newer porn also glamorizes barebacking and other unsafe sexual practices, and in that way, can send an unconscious message that unsafe sexual practices are ok, or "hot" or otherwise the "in" thing to do, and that's a really, REALLY bad message to convey.

Another thing I think is problematic is when you start to rely on porn for stimulation and fantasy when you masturbate. The ability to fantasize and imagine amazing sexual experiences without actually watching them on a computer or TV contributes to the quality of the sexual experience one has; if you find yourself only being able to be stimulated looking at porn, you're losing out on the ability to use your own imagination and have a wonderful experience that you create in your own mind.

Lastly, porn if watched too much can sort of desensitize you, and some people find themselves, when that happens, going for more extreme porn. I believe that's not healthy, and if you find yourself starting to get desensitized, that's an indication it's time to take a break and spend some time developing your own fantasies in your mind's eye.

I do believe that, just like video games, as long as you use porn occasionally and make it a part of, but not the whole of, your sexual experience, it can be a perfectly healthy and enjoyable part of your sexual experience.
Chip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 01:09 PM   #8
EC Addict
Full Member
 
kettleoffish's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: all but parents.. for now.
Location: Scotland
Age: 20
Posts: 1,046
Join Date: Feb 2009


Default Re: Porn

It's a handy, guilt-free aid to jerking off. That's all I see it as.

It's like beating it to the hot guy at school, without the awkwardness of talking to him the next day.

I like porn

But obviously, too much is bad, especially if it gets to the point where it interferes with other things in your life.
kettleoffish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 02:04 PM   #9
Eternally Male Crazed!
Full Member
 
No One's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Age: 20
Posts: 1,020
Join Date: Oct 2008


Default Re: Porn

I agree with the others, too much porn is bad, but in moderation it can be fun.
__________________
No One is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 02:18 PM   #10
EC Addict
Full Member
 
Zach1992's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Guys
Out Status: Out to friends, some family, & those who ask!
Location: New York (State, not city)
Age: 23
Posts: 1,171
Join Date: Jan 2010


Default Re: Porn

I absolutely love porn.
__________________
"Sex shouldn't be COMFY!!!"- Lola (Kinky Boots)

Zach1992 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 02:45 PM   #11
Banned
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: 2 Everyone except my dogs
Location: Glorious San Diego
Age: 65
Posts: 167
Join Date: Feb 2010


Default Re: Porn

Yeah, there is one thing really good we can always say about making love with porn:

at least you don't have to look your best
dromadus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th Feb 2010, 11:32 PM   #12
Member
Full Member
 
wizdrorcal's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: A few people
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 54
Join Date: Dec 2009


Default Re: Porn

Completely agree with everyone here. Moderation is key. So long as you don't become dependent on it....its a great way to pass the time. And like was mentioned, continue to be aware it is not real life....and don't except the same in your bedroom. Everyone is different.
wizdrorcal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th Feb 2010, 05:04 AM   #13
EC's Soldier!
Regular Member
 
Steve's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Sargeant sexual
Out Status: whoever asks
Location: Born in australia, but now living some where else
Age: 23
Posts: 2,292
Join Date: May 2008

Tournaments Won: 1

Default Re: Porn

the biggest problem with porn is that if you watch to much , then porn itself becomes boring and you will find yourself looking to having sex with strangers like said by karabulet.

so really try not to watch to much because first it also gives you a wrong impression on how sex should be.

Steve
__________________
Soldier " there is no room for that in my pocklet"
commander " if there is room in your heart then there in your pocket"
Soldier " i cant fit my gf in there"
-r " have you tried ? until you try you dont know"
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2010, 08:44 PM   #14
:3
Regular Member
 
san tighty's Avatar
 

Gender: girl
Orientation: queero, but with a boy
Out Status: friends and some family
Location: Illinois
Posts: 28
Join Date: Apr 2009


Default Re: Porn

Maybe I just don't get it because I've never watched porn, but I don't agree with it.
The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. How the actors and actresses are exploiting themselves, how it makes an intimate thing seem so dirty... I think sex should be a private and romantic thing. I don't think it should be a form of "entertainment" or a way to pass the time. It's something that should be special and powerful, not a daily routine or a job or a form of media...
san tighty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Feb 2010, 08:02 PM   #15
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 74,962
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: Porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by san tighty View Post
Maybe I just don't get it because I've never watched porn, but I don't agree with it.
The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. How the actors and actresses are exploiting themselves, how it makes an intimate thing seem so dirty... I think sex should be a private and romantic thing. I don't think it should be a form of "entertainment" or a way to pass the time. It's something that should be special and powerful, not a daily routine or a job or a form of media...
it is their choice to exploit themselves. and sex means different things to different people. sex for me is love, expression, funny, exciting, warm. there is no reason why sex shouldn't be a form of media; sex IS expression, just like literature or music IN A WAY. And why shouldn't it be a daily routine...i dont know why sex on a daily basis offends you. but im really just talking out of my ass over here dont take anything im saying too seriously, well at least not as seriously as you take sex. sorry im just teasin' ya!
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Feb 2010, 08:02 PM   #16
Member
Regular Member
 
ohkbye's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Most of my family, everyone else.
Location: MI
Posts: 39
Join Date: Aug 2009


Default Re: Porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by san tighty View Post
Maybe I just don't get it because I've never watched porn, but I don't agree with it.
The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. How the actors and actresses are exploiting themselves, how it makes an intimate thing seem so dirty... I think sex should be a private and romantic thing. I don't think it should be a form of "entertainment" or a way to pass the time. It's something that should be special and powerful, not a daily routine or a job or a form of media...
it is their choice to exploit themselves. and sex means different things to different people. sex for me is love, expression, funny, exciting, warm. there is no reason why sex shouldn't be a form of media; sex IS expression, just like literature or music IN A WAY. And why shouldn't it be a daily routine...i dont know why sex on a daily basis offends you. but im really just talking out of my ass over here dont take anything im saying too seriously, well at least not as seriously as you take sex. sorry im just teasin' ya!
i didnt mean to post that anonymously. hi, i'm jacob
ohkbye is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Feb 2010, 08:05 PM   #17
Happily Married To Zume
Full Member
 
Sylver's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: quite gay, thank you
Out Status: pretty darn out..
Location: Kenora, Ontario
Posts: 1,057
Join Date: Jan 2010


Default Re: Porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by SexualTeen View Post
I absolutely love porn.
I've never seen the two sides of the argument presented so convincingly!
__________________
"A gay man's life begins the day he comes out"

James ~ Gay by Nature
Sylver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Feb 2010, 08:51 PM   #18
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 74,962
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: Porn

Porn is awesome possum. But Chip hit it on the head. Some people will become addicted/reliant on it a lot easier than others. Giving a set amount that's safe to watch I feel is pointless. For instance, I have an extremely addictive personality. I'll eat chocolate till I'm physically ill if I'm not careful (I take some blame too! ). Same with porn; in my first year of college, I watched far more than I'd like to admit to. Just because its there, doesn't mean you need to watch it! It never interfered with my socializing, but I did become somewhat reliant on it. But others, they can watch as much as they want and still get off on their own too.

Luckily, I've pretty well gotten over that. So just be careful! If you catch yourself thinking you watch too much, you lose nothing by watching less! You don't need to keep a tab, or a little black book of times and dates. When you start to need the porn to get off, well, then its time to rethink your situation. And, for me at least, I find personal fantasies so much more exciting than any porn!
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th Feb 2010, 01:55 AM   #19
Forum Admins
EC Admin
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: northern CA
Posts: 12,497
Join Date: May 2008


Default Re: Porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by san tighty View Post
Maybe I just don't get it because I've never watched porn, but I don't agree with it.
The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. How the actors and actresses are exploiting themselves, how it makes an intimate thing seem so dirty... I think sex should be a private and romantic thing. I don't think it should be a form of "entertainment" or a way to pass the time. It's something that should be special and powerful, not a daily routine or a job or a form of media...
I think it all depends on your view of sexuality, which, in turn, has a lot to do with the environment in which you're raised. There's a whole school of thought that sex is beautiful and wonderful and nothing to be ashamed of, and therefore nothing wrong with watching -- or, for that matter performing in -- porn.

I know people who have been porn performers, and some of them are just incredibly open and comfortable people who love what they do and enjoy sharing themselves knowing that it will bring other people pleasure. I know others who do it for the attention they get, and still others who have used their work in porn to become more comfortable with themselves.

All of that said, I think there are lots of reasons *not* to do porn as well, and I think anyone who considers it should give it really serious thought, both in terms of the potential future effect on career, as well as the emotional and psychological aspects (which can be either positive or negative, depending on the person and circumstances.)

I do think that many of the people who perform in porn do so because they genuinely enjoy it and are just very open people. But I also think that it's not for everyone, and as san tighty points out, there are people who aren't comfortable watching it either. So it all comes down to personal choice.
Chip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th Feb 2010, 11:04 AM   #20
EC Addict
Full Member
 
Holmes's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out
Location: Ireland
Age: 28
Posts: 617
Join Date: Aug 2009


Default Re: Porn

I don't think it's a sign of insecurity to watch porn, but I do find it nice to think sometimes, "Oh, it's been a few days since I watched any". I sometimes leave my laptop in my locker as it's heavy to carry home, and would sometimes be just too tired to watch some porn before sleeping. The porn I like tends not to be at all extreme, I like it when I could believe the two are actually a couple, and it seems intimate, rather than excessive or all smiling for the camera.

During times when I've been with someone, even in the smallest way, I didn't watch porn.

I do think watching too much, such that it interferes with doing more valuable things, is a bad thing.
Holmes is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Porn or no porn? that is the question Anonymous Anonymous Discussions 18 2nd Feb 2009 08:42 AM
I still can't believe this is happening to me... K0msomolets Coming Out Stories 12 24th May 2007 12:42 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:32 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright (c) 2004-2014, Empty Closets Community Services
the Empty Closets name and logo are registered trademarks of Empty Closets Community Services

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20