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Old 29th May 2010, 07:35 AM   #1
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Default I will never have a boyfriend

I will never have a boyfriend. I never had a real relationship before with anyone and I am in my 30s. I have given up dating too as its so frustrating. Anyway those that say there is someone out there for someone is full of shit. Not everyone is meant to be with someone. I have tried looking for somoene for so long and now I have a point that having a real relationship would never happen and I will die single. I am also sick and tired of people getting into relationships and bragging on about it. Yes I can be happy about them but if they keep going on about it it gets depressing and I know that thing would never happen in my life.
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Old 29th May 2010, 07:36 AM   #2
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

I am the op and even tried getting a girlfriend too in the past but I was gay. It was impossible to even then get a girlfriend.
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Old 29th May 2010, 08:29 AM   #3
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Did you ever think maybe the reason you've never had a relationship with someone is because you are extremely negative about it and have never put yourself out there and tried really?

I havent had a relationship either but I cant complain, I've never tried.

With that kind of attitude it's no wonder you havent found someone... Relationships arent supposed to be easy, but people aren't attracted to negativity and low self-esteem. Just work on being more confident.. It doesnt matter how many people you've dated in the past or anything... You can find someone who loves you at any age and experience level. So chin up dude. There is SOMEONE, you just have to find them...
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Old 29th May 2010, 08:40 AM   #4
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Whether you think you will find a BF or whether you think you will not, you are probably right! -- adapted from Abraham Lincoln.
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Old 29th May 2010, 09:16 AM   #5
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

A lot of this is based on your mindset. If you are actively trying to get into a relationship, and found that that isn't working, why not just be your charming self in your life (even if you're not charming), and see what comes along?

Similar to what others have posted, join some clubs or pick up some hobbies that you're interested in. Social people meet more people, which raises the chance that you'll meet someone that you like, who may also like you.

30 is the roumored and stereotyped "gaydeath" but it doesn't have to be the case for you. Being flirty (not lewed though), relaxed, interesting, and/or fun are all great ways to have people want to be around you.

Don't forget the impact that bodylanguage has in communication. IT MEANS A LOT.
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Old 29th May 2010, 05:01 PM   #6
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Hey dont be so hard on yourself I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or date or anything until I was 27 and now im in a very happy relationship so its never too late, you just got to believe and enjoy life for what it is at the moment and as long as you are out there meeting new people and having fun you will get there eventually.
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Old 30th May 2010, 04:42 AM   #7
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

If it's an constellation, relationships can hurt a damn site more than being single.
Get out there and try. Join a LGBT group, or start your own. Go to a gay bar. Stuff like that.
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Old 30th May 2010, 05:00 AM   #8
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
I will never have a boyfriend. I never had a real relationship before with anyone and I am in my 30s. I have given up dating too as its so frustrating. Anyway those that say there is someone out there for someone is full of shit. Not everyone is meant to be with someone. I have tried looking for somoene for so long and now I have a point that having a real relationship would never happen and I will die single. I am also sick and tired of people getting into relationships and bragging on about it. Yes I can be happy about them but if they keep going on about it it gets depressing and I know that thing would never happen in my life.
well i disagree with you totally. if you try hard you shall succeed. im approaching my 30s in a few years too and i aint dated anyone yet. really i aint been that fussed about it to be honest. i told my pal that. however i am now at that point in life where iam interested in it and have started pursuing that. i joined an online date site (which i have never been a fan of before may i add) and so far i feel a bounce in my step cos i am talking to people. obv its early days for anything yet. i know i wanna take my time and find that rite someone. so my advice is dont give up. keep looking at new ways to meet people. there is alot of people that aint suitable but its a case of ignoring and moving on.
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Old 30th May 2010, 11:13 AM   #9
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

I had simuler thoughts to you a while ago, and it will pass this negativity. You will find somebody my great uncle did not have a boyfriend till he was pass 30 but he has a boyfriend that he has been with for over 30 years, I have yet to have one but He is out there some were just need to find him, so chin up and be positive and fate might throw you a nice gift of a very nice boyfriend.
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Old 30th May 2010, 02:34 PM   #10
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

First of all: feeling a horrible frustration once in a while is totally natural. Even though I’m generally an upbeat person, there are nights when I wake up in the middle of the night, and take note of my singleness: “26 years of sleeping alone. Way to go, Filip!! ” It’s a feeling that happens to a lot of people.
However, then, when the morning light dawns, I force myself to remember that it’s a new day, and I don’t know who or what might be over the horizon, and try to hope for the best again. Because that’s the only productive mindset.

If you "know" for a fact that you’re never going to be with anyone in your life, you’re sabotaging any prospective relationship from the outset. It’s hard seeing the good in anyone when you’re looking for reasons why things will fail

Attitude is only a part of it. You mention dating not being fulfilling. Then stop dating through the channels you’ve been using. If you haven’t, try joining a GLBT group, or hanging out at different places where gay people might gather. Are you out to all of your friends yet? Being out is a good way of getting people to refer you to other gay friends of theirs. On the non-specifically GLBT front: join a hobby club. You’re bound to meet people who you’ll have things in common with, and some of them might be gay.

And when you’ll least expect it, you might still transform into one of those annoying people bragging about how awesome your boyfriend is

Now, you might say “Quit your optimist BS, Filip, you don’t know what you’re talking about”. Then I’d say that’s perfectly fine and I’ll keep quiet. But if the frustration is that deep, then maybe try getting it out of your system. Cry when you’re alone somewhere. Go to a secluded place, and just yell at the top of your voice “F*** THIS S**T!!”. Getting the frustration out of your system could already help a great deal!
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Old 30th May 2010, 06:09 PM   #11
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Although I'm 18, I've felt like that too. I wondered why I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet, why no guys seem interested, why my gay friends are in relationships but I'm not.

Then I realized: I stay in almost every night and when a guy does seem interested, I back away.

We can't expect a relationship to magically form. Hoping, praying, and wishing can only get you so far. You got to put the work in. 30 is a scary age, especially for the single, but it's not the end of your social and love life. You still have decades before it's off to the nursing home. LOL

Positivity attracts people. Which are you attracted to more: a smile or a frown? Someone laughing or someone sighing? Socialize, flirt, be personable. Are you self-conscious about yourself? Is there anything from holding you back from a relationship?

Remember: You can't expect the mouse to come to the cat.
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Old 30th May 2010, 07:52 PM   #12
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

I didn't get laid until I was 25.
I didn't get a boyfriend until I was 26.
I didn't get a GOOD boyfriend until I was 28.

...totally worth the wait.

If you really are interested int getting into a relationship, send me a message. Maybe we can figure out how to do it.

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Old 31st May 2010, 12:29 AM   #13
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Thanks for the replies guys. Anyway its just that I sick of everyone I have dated that really into have only made me an option and not a priority. Infact everyone I have associated that I have been really into if they are availabe have only really made me an option. I just dont feel like meeting anyone new to date. In several years I will be 40.

However despite being really down about it, without my friends I would be really fucked up.
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Old 29th Jan 2012, 03:24 PM   #14
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

it is soo frustrating to hear people say that yer not really putting yerself out there or that you must be negative and that is the reason why you are single. the reality is that sometimes its just not meant to be, for whatever reason there are some of us who are like magnets that seem to repel instead of attract, either that or we're like new elements that dont mix, like oil and water. it just happens, no matter how positive you are or how much you put yerself out there, because believe me, I have and I have constantly been optimistic and hopeful and have faith but it just doesn't happen. i could very easily have a relationship with someone who would not be healthy for me, but it's not about just being with someone for the sake of not being alone, it's about being with someone who will make you feel good and bring out the best in you. so why is it so wrong to think that it will never happen for some people? it'd be great if there was someone for everyone, but maybe there isn't, and it has nothing to do with you.
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Old 29th Jan 2012, 07:33 PM   #15
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

>>>the reality is that sometimes its just not meant to be, for whatever reason there are some of us who are like magnets that seem to repel instead of attract, either that or we're like new elements that dont mix, like oil and water.

I actually think you're correct here, after a fashion. I have an "internet friend" who is perpetually single. He certainly puts himself out there a lot, but he NEVER goes on a second date. The other guy always isn't interested. More than that, he gets stood up more often than not for FIRST dates. Not surprisingly, he's pretty much convinced that he's destined to be single forever.

That said, I don't think these are some sort of inherent characteristics that are somehow impossible to overcome. Yeah, some people have the deck stacked against them for whatever reason. But I think one can work on one's personality, and become more attractive (in a generic sense) to other people. It's not a simple move, and it won't guarantee that suddenly the dates will be lining up, but I think it might be worth the effort. I've been trying to get this friend of mine to come visit, so I can try to figure out what might be his issues (it's tough to figure out online), but haven't convinced him to visit yet.

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Old 30th Jan 2012, 01:42 AM   #16
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Op here, well I was in such an bad mood then as my experiences then with guys that played mind games with me and were dishonest. However I do still date and yes there are times when I get on an second or third or more date yet with this it usually ends up as friends or fuckbuddies.

I not looking for an relationship now. I believe I can get one but I just want to enjoy life now. Maybe someday I will have someone but I wont let it worry me now.
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Old 26th Feb 2012, 09:42 AM   #17
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

I'm only 19, but i know how it feels to be alone when all your friends are going out in the
weekends with their girlfriends. I've never been kissed, never had anyone ask me out, the closest thing i ever got to being in a relationship is a committed 5 year crush on someone that hates my guts...go figure.

but still, if one is destined (as you say) to be perpetually single, then why the frustration? Resignation does not bring out this kind of anger, only unrealised hopes do that.
So i would suggest this energy needs to be channeled in a right direction: going out more often, making new hobbies and try to find something that you really like doing and at the same time be time consuming. This is not necessarily to meet new guys, but so that you can preoccupy yourself with something else instead of thinking negative thoughts.
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Old 27th Feb 2012, 06:01 PM   #18
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Oh well, go buy some toys!
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Old 27th Feb 2012, 07:55 PM   #19
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

you will have boyfriend. it will happen for you.
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Old 27th Feb 2012, 08:00 PM   #20
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Default Re: I will never have a boyfriend

Listen. I’m not going to hold your hand and pat your head and catch your tears in a vile:

With the attitude “I will never have a boyfriend” you’re damn right you won’t.

Either go and make positive steps to getting one (attend gay social events etc.), be patient, or just stop worrying. Many find love when they stop looking/least expect it. And wanting a boyfriend is not grounds for a relationship. FInd someone who wants to be with you. Not who you are desperate to want. Don’t be so nihilistic.
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