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Old 17th Jan 2011, 09:26 PM   #1
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Default Am I freaking out?

I have begun coming out to people whom are close to me. On many levels it feels great, but I fear that I am overanalyizing everything and sometimes I worry that I moved too quickly.

Some background: I'm in my late twenties and two months ago I first told a close friend of mine that I was "questioning." From there I became more comfortable with the idea of being gay and came to internally accept it. Then I started telling more people.

Recently, I have begun to think I might be bisexual. This sort of scares me. I feel like I want to be gay (the exact opposite of where I was a few months ago), but I keep "testing" myself. I'll look at girls and, sometimes, find them attractive. I think if a good looking girl walked into my room and wanted to have sex, i'd do it. This seems at odds with most gay guys - that they would have no interest in such things.

Throughout my life I never seemed driven to meet girls in a romantic way, so recently the idea of being gay seemed like a reasonable explanation to this "deficiency." On many levels it just answered so many questions and felt more natural. When I don't over think things, I think that I gravitate toward the good looking guys in the room. I tend to find guys much more attractive - I am more likely to notice good looking guys at first glance, etc. But I sometimes find a girl (usually one that I know) attractive.

What is going on? Is this abnormal? Did i make a mistake in coming out? I thought I had everything figured out, and now I'm just getting more stressed....
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Old 17th Jan 2011, 09:52 PM   #2
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

Being quite honest. Ive had my mind set for a long time that i'm gay.
I suggest you ask yourself, are you MENTALLY attracted to women, as you would be if you
were wanting to date them, and such, or are you just physically? because I am only physically attracted to women, but i could never get myself to date one honestly.
So other than that, its going to take a lot on your own part of thinking, and seeing who you really are.
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Old 17th Jan 2011, 09:58 PM   #3
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

I don't think you're wrong to have come out as long as that's what you felt you needed to do. The reality is, exploring those feelings is really important and it doesn't always happen at once.

When I was coming out, I cried and asked my mom what would happen if I was wrong, what would happen if I wasn't actually gay? She said, "who cares? it's not like it's written in stone. you're allowed to identify as whatever you feel like, whenever you feel it."

So I guess all you can do is explore and live and then decide what it is feels best for you.
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Old 17th Jan 2011, 10:21 PM   #4
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

I don't see myself living with a girl for the rest of my days...
Would I have sex with one? Yes, if she is attractive (lIke Katy Perry).lol
And I think it is quite normal to doubt yourself at this stage, it is something different for you after all.
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Old 17th Jan 2011, 10:22 PM   #5
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

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I don't see myself living with a girl for the rest of my days...
Would I have sex with one? Yes, if she is attractive (lIke Katy Perry).lol
And I think it is quite normal to doubt yourself at this stage, it is something different for you after all.
Sigh... That was my post.
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Old 18th Jan 2011, 07:53 PM   #6
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

Thanks for the responses. Yes, I suppose it is all a bit new and takes some adjusting to. Some moments I'm sure I am gay, and then other moments I start questioning everything and work myself up. Hopefully this will not continue much longer!
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Old 19th Jan 2011, 09:56 AM   #7
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

Some people are fluid in their sexuality... meaning, there is a spectrum of sexuality. If you want to read about it, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale.

And go with the flow from now. For example, I consider myself a 5 out of 6 on that scale meaning I find some men attractive, but I wouldn't date them. I see myself marrying a woman. Some may differ from that in time too. There is no pressure to put yourself into any one category.
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Old 19th Jan 2011, 10:20 AM   #8
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

Maybe you're just attracted to people as individuals versus being attracted to one gender or the other.
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Old 19th Jan 2011, 10:50 AM   #9
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

I have never seen what exactly the difference is between men and women (apart from the obvious)
Let's just say that you're attracted to humans. That makes everything a lot easier, believe me. So just feel free to look at girls and boys. No one tells you that you should be gay, bi or straight.
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Old 19th Jan 2011, 01:13 PM   #10
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
I have begun coming out to people whom are close to me. On many levels it feels great, but I fear that I am overanalyizing everything and sometimes I worry that I moved too quickly.

Some background: I'm in my late twenties and two months ago I first told a close friend of mine that I was "questioning." From there I became more comfortable with the idea of being gay and came to internally accept it. Then I started telling more people.

Recently, I have begun to think I might be bisexual. This sort of scares me. I feel like I want to be gay (the exact opposite of where I was a few months ago), but I keep "testing" myself. I'll look at girls and, sometimes, find them attractive. I think if a good looking girl walked into my room and wanted to have sex, i'd do it. This seems at odds with most gay guys - that they would have no interest in such things.

Throughout my life I never seemed driven to meet girls in a romantic way, so recently the idea of being gay seemed like a reasonable explanation to this "deficiency." On many levels it just answered so many questions and felt more natural. When I don't over think things, I think that I gravitate toward the good looking guys in the room. I tend to find guys much more attractive - I am more likely to notice good looking guys at first glance, etc. But I sometimes find a girl (usually one that I know) attractive.

What is going on? Is this abnormal? Did i make a mistake in coming out? I thought I had everything figured out, and now I'm just getting more stressed....
Story of my life! That is pretty much what is going on with me. I hate the place I am in right now, and I'm not being myself because of it.
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Old 20th Jan 2011, 02:31 PM   #11
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Default Re: Am I freaking out?

exacly the same is going on in my life at the mo a year ago i came out a lesbain and was sure i was now iam not sure i am 100%, i find my self sometimes being atrated to men what i have figged is it dosent matter iam just gonna go with the flow and see what happens.
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