starting to have negative feelings towards gays

[Anonymous]

i am bisexual and possibly leaning towards being gay. my frustration with the gay lifestyle and situation has led me to be bitter and angry and have pent up rage. i have found myself being very internally negative against gay people because relationshps have not work with them. i also find myself not feeling comfortable anymore around straights. they are ok but its too much energy to be around thme and hide and lie and deal with their own homophoblia, so essentially i have pushed myselfl into a corner and i'm just really mad and angry and hurt and angry and frustrated. i feel like lashing out at anyone for anything. i have a lot of displaced anger and i'm tired of people's bull shit. please help.

[ukeye]

Sounds to me like denial like you are fighting yourself - Theres no need to feel abusive, it won't get you anywhere. A lot of straight relationships fail as well. A lot of the time gay relationships can fail for reasons like you are experiencing - the insecurity factor. Its not easy being gay, but people don't choose it. Homophobia is similar to other forms of slander - It is hurtful to the core which can result in self loathing and a self-fulfilling prophecy - Just look at racism in history - the minorities were controlled by judgements from the masses which resulted in a down turn of self worth and failure for anyone except a few to stand up. The way Hitler controlled the world by stigmatising the jews, robbing them and incarcerating/slaughtering them.

Homophobia is focused on subduing the minorities. As a possibly gay man, you can either listen to it and let it eat you up inside and not accept yourself.. or you can accept it an have faith that same-sex relationships can work.. Sure the latter is harder, and its against the grain.. But we are who we are - we didn't choose to be here and have to make it work with what we have.

[Anonymous]

i mean i understand what yoiu're saying but i mean even now i am watchign bravo and they have all the gay guy on this channel prancing around, speaking with gay accents, and everything short of wearing a tutu...wait, they show that as well on the real housewives of atlanta. anyway, can't they ever depict masculine men on tv that are gay. im so sick of this.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

i mean i understand what yoiu're saying but i mean even now i am watchign bravo and they have all the gay guy on this channel prancing around, speaking with gay accents, and everything short of wearing a tutu...wait, they show that as well on the real housewives of atlanta. anyway, can't they ever depict masculine men on tv that are gay. im so sick of this.

is this reality tv o.O, cause im pretty sure the masculine gays are still in the closet somewhere, takes a brave kind of gay to flaunt their stuff on tv you know? with all that hate and stuff, i doubt anyone can really be anything but flamboyant on screen the same way you cant have a gay football player.

from Aaron

[silverhalo]

Hey as the poster above has said, gay relationships can fail because of people being in the closet and being insecure, but they can also fail for reasons completely unrelated to it being a gay relationships, its also true that plenty of straight relationships fail.

Im sure plenty of other people here will also tell you that there is no such thing as a gay lifestyle, I am in a gay relationship but apart from the fact im a girl and dating a girl it has no other defining characteristics. Yes its true with gay guys that a lot of those which you see, especially on television are flamboyant but so what it doesnt mean you have to be like them, or that all other gay guys are like them, the masculine gay guys that you speak of are around they are just harder to spot. I can understand your frustration with the lack of masculine gay men in tv and films but it will come through more, the more masculine gay guys come out in real life. It is also true that there are loads of other stereotypes which are almost always followed in tv shows and films because they are entertaining or traditional, but you dont notice these.

I think you will find the more you accept yourself and become comfortable the less these things will bother you. This also includes other peoples homophobia, there will at least for a while to come be people that are homophobic, or just insensitive people, but you will find the more comfortable you are the more you will just accept that it is their loss and you are better off without them anyway and you will just move on.

[sometimesbetter]

Plenty of straight people have problems, too––trust me. I only have straight friends (well, they say they're straight, but some are questionable), and some of them who are in relationships have so many up's and down's, that it's just hard to keep up sometimes. And you don't have to lie to your friends. Some of my friends don't know that I like guys (although, they've probably sometimes suspected it), and when they ask if I'm with a girl, I just say, "no". I'm not lying. I just don't think my sexuality is any of their business. If I need advice, then I'll ask 'em. But, if I'm not with anyone, then why should they have to know what I'm up to? Anyway, if they're homophobes, well, then, that's another thing.

[seeksanctuary]

Most relationships fail, gay or straight. And Bravo TV... hell TV at all... is a downright moronic place to look for realistic depictions of ANYTHING. It's TV! TV isn't about real life. Okay, you have the news, but you all know what I mean I should hope. :|

Don't blame all gay men for failed relationships, nor the caricatures you see prancing about on the TV shows. That's just life, and that's just Hollywood.