i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 9th Jan 2012, 12:24 PM

im not out. i have been trying to accept myself. its been hard. honestly all my thoughts are related to being gay (dating, feeling bad, self condemnation, wondering if i will meet anyone, wondering if he is or isn't gay, wondering if someone will out me, etc.). its really all i think of. i do other things but that is always in the background of my mind. anyway to break free of this.

Bedroom Hymns · 9th Jan 2012, 01:03 PM

Ugh, I'm in the same position. I'm, like, constantly thinking about how I'm gay and how everything I do is related to it. It's so weird.

MusicMan12 · 9th Jan 2012, 01:26 PM

Me too, I'm in the same situation

duriru · 9th Jan 2012, 01:28 PM

Exact same situation for me too. When I first joined EC I couldn't sleep for three days lol.

sometimesbetter · 9th Jan 2012, 06:58 PM

I do the same thing, but I just end up getting depressed. Not because I'm gay, but what being gay might do to my family in the future. They know, but it's never discussed, so it becomes extremely hard to vocalize my thoughts when I know my family would be disgusted by them. Sigh.

Mlpguy88 · 9th Jan 2012, 07:16 PM

I'm feel the same way. It's good to know that we all have each other to lean on

dreamcatcher · 9th Jan 2012, 07:27 PM

I'm feeling just like everyone else too. It used to be worst when I was in constant denial about it. That's when I would think about it every single second of the day. Now that I no longer try to deny it, I don't cry about it as much or have my stomach in knots (although I still think about it a lot). I tend to not think about it when I'm around other people, unless they bring up dating/good looking guys, then it's in the back of my mind all over again.

Honestly, seeing as that how all of us feeling this exact same way are closeted, we probably wouldn't be thinking about it as much if we all came out but I don't plan on doing that anytime soon and I don't know if you want to either. So my best advice is keep yourself busy and be around people that make you happy/comfortable.

sometimesbetter · 9th Jan 2012, 10:25 PM

I guess I'm speaking from personal experience, so take my story with a grain of salt (our personal experiences vary with person to person). I'm out to some friends and family. My family situation with this isn't the greatest; we've all decided to not really talk about it and just let it be until the future. But, whenever they bring up relationships they see on TV or my friends (some whom I'm not out to) talk about their (stupid) relationship drama, I end up thinking about being gay and what life will be in the future when it becomes important that I am, in fact, gay. It's still weird to think it sometime. It's still weird to wholly accept it. I'm proud that I am. I don't think it's a problem; I don't think it's an issue; it's who I am and I'm fucking okay with that. It's just hard to fully accept it when so many don't know and the one's that do, want to wish for you to make it all better. But, if they can't accept it, then fuck 'em! Life shouldn't be limited by what other people think (even if it's family).

Ianthe · 10th Jan 2012, 04:06 AM

I think it's normal, or at least usual, to be kind of obsessed for a while as part of the self-acceptance and coming out process.

I definitely was.

9th Jan 2012, 12:24 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much im not out. i have been trying to accept myself. its been hard. honestly all my thoughts are related to being gay (dating, feeling bad, self condemnation, wondering if i will meet anyone, wondering if he is or isn't gay, wondering if someone will out me, etc.). its really all i think of. i do other things but that is always in the background of my mind. anyway to break free of this.

9th Jan 2012, 01:03 PM	#2
Bedroom Hymns The Morning Fog Regular Member Gender: Happy with my willy, but I don't care for gender. Orientation: I like phallic objects and muscles. Out Status: Some friends, some relatives (both my parents). Location: Under the ice Age: 16 Posts: 297 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much Ugh, I'm in the same position. I'm, like, constantly thinking about how I'm gay and how everything I do is related to it. It's so weird. __________________ Between two lungs it was released, The breath that passed from you to me, That flew between us as we slept, That slipped from your mouth, into mine it crept.

9th Jan 2012, 01:26 PM	#3
MusicMan12 Looking for advice and friends! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: (Mostly) Closeted Gay Out Status: My parents Location: Chicago, IL USA Age: 20 Posts: 184 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much Me too, I'm in the same situation

9th Jan 2012, 01:28 PM	#4
duriru Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13 Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Honduras Age: 18 Posts: 982 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much Exact same situation for me too. When I first joined EC I couldn't sleep for three days lol.

9th Jan 2012, 06:58 PM	#5
sometimesbetter Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some friends, and family Age: 21 Posts: 146 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much I do the same thing, but I just end up getting depressed. Not because I'm gay, but what being gay might do to my family in the future. They know, but it's never discussed, so it becomes extremely hard to vocalize my thoughts when I know my family would be disgusted by them. Sigh.

9th Jan 2012, 07:16 PM	#6
Mlpguy88 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Michigan Age: 21 Posts: 515 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much I'm feel the same way. It's good to know that we all have each other to lean on

9th Jan 2012, 07:27 PM	#7
dreamcatcher EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: lesbian and still working on accepting it Out Status: A few people Location: Florida Age: 20 Posts: 297 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much I'm feeling just like everyone else too. It used to be worst when I was in constant denial about it. That's when I would think about it every single second of the day. Now that I no longer try to deny it, I don't cry about it as much or have my stomach in knots (although I still think about it a lot). I tend to not think about it when I'm around other people, unless they bring up dating/good looking guys, then it's in the back of my mind all over again. Honestly, seeing as that how all of us feeling this exact same way are closeted, we probably wouldn't be thinking about it as much if we all came out but I don't plan on doing that anytime soon and I don't know if you want to either. So my best advice is keep yourself busy and be around people that make you happy/comfortable.

9th Jan 2012, 10:25 PM	#8
sometimesbetter Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some friends, and family Age: 21 Posts: 146 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much I guess I'm speaking from personal experience, so take my story with a grain of salt (our personal experiences vary with person to person). I'm out to some friends and family. My family situation with this isn't the greatest; we've all decided to not really talk about it and just let it be until the future. But, whenever they bring up relationships they see on TV or my friends (some whom I'm not out to) talk about their (stupid) relationship drama, I end up thinking about being gay and what life will be in the future when it becomes important that I am, in fact, gay. It's still weird to think it sometime. It's still weird to wholly accept it. I'm proud that I am. I don't think it's a problem; I don't think it's an issue; it's who I am and I'm fucking okay with that. It's just hard to fully accept it when so many don't know and the one's that do, want to wish for you to make it all better. But, if they can't accept it, then fuck 'em! Life shouldn't be limited by what other people think (even if it's family).

10th Jan 2012, 04:06 AM	#9
Ianthe EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female/Femme Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon Age: 32 Posts: 1,055 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: i have been focusing on being gay toooooo much I think it's normal, or at least usual, to be kind of obsessed for a while as part of the self-acceptance and coming out process. I definitely was.