Nervous about coming out to my therapist - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 10th Jan 2012, 07:22 PM

I have this thing where it makes it really hard for me to talk to people - thereby making it difficult for me to meet anyone. Thus the whole thing will be me talking to random strangers and making conversations or something. I don't know. I just have a lot to work on. A lot of trust issues lol - A LOT of trust issues.

Inevitably me liking guys will come up. I'm bi. My friends know I like guys, but I've never really talked to them about it. Hell, I've only come out ONCE without texting and that was to my parents. Now I'll have to tell this stranger? It just seems really daunting. I've never even talked boys before. I want to be able to say "I met this really great guy and everything" just like I'll say "I met this really great girl and everything" during the sessions, but I'm really just nervous about how he'll react. Most of the suburb is Republican

and here's this LGBT dude (me) who's the least conservative anyone could possibly get around here... and it's just...

I don't know. I'm just scared or something. Like he'll rush to judgements based on the fact that I like guys. Not to mention that part of my problem is the whole absentee father thing and how that seriously fucked me up. I guess I'm just scared about coming out and not knowing how or if that'll effect things.

Anonymous · 10th Jan 2012, 07:23 PM

Lol. I seriously have no idea what that dancing banana is doing there - it's supposed to be ( ! )

**EM68** · 10th Jan 2012, 07:35 PM

Don't worry about coming out to your therapist. They are trained to be subjective. If you can not come out to them and want to print out this post and give it to them.

AloneOutHere · 10th Jan 2012, 07:52 PM

Hey.. just remember that he's a therapist and a professional. His job is not be judgemental but supportive and understanding. If there is anyone that you can 100% trust, it is a therapist.

Hidinginalabama · 10th Jan 2012, 08:33 PM

Coming out to anyone is a big deal but it doesnt have to be. You are who you are and you should be proud of it. I see no reason why you so worry about your therapist thinking bad about you. His job is to help you. He will not hate or judge you for any reason. Try not to stress over this. I know what I am saying is easy for me to say but it is something that you should think about. We are all here to help you in anyway we can.

**Chip** · 11th Jan 2012, 05:26 AM

There's a saying I have about therapists. If you have the right one, you should be able to go in to him or her and say that you enjoy sex with hammers, gerbils, and large jars of mayonnaise, and have them respond with "I see. And how does that make you feel?" or something equally blase or benign.

Therapists are by nature trained to be nonjudgmental. And any therapist worth a crap will have extensive experience working with LGBT people, so it won't faze him or her in the slightest to have you come out, nor will it cause any change in his judgment of you. (The one exception is, it may help him or her better understand some of the underlying issues you're having, as being closeted impacts a lot of aspects of self, self-esteem, confidence, and other issues.)

And I do understand what you're feeling... I can remember being absolutely petrified when I came out to my therapist... but really, it's a no-brainer and there's no reason whatsoever to be concerned.

**Lexington** · 11th Jan 2012, 11:02 AM

If you think you're going to have a tough time telling your therapist...print out your first post, and hand it to him.

Lex

Anonymous · 12th Jan 2012, 06:13 PM

I did it. But I had to do it over e-mail...

**EM68** · 12th Jan 2012, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I did it. But I had to do it over e-mail...

Congrats! That is fine you did it by email. Well done.

Hidinginalabama · 12th Jan 2012, 06:25 PM

Thats is great to hear. You did it. You took the step forward.

10th Jan 2012, 07:22 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Nervous about coming out to my therapist I have this thing where it makes it really hard for me to talk to people - thereby making it difficult for me to meet anyone. Thus the whole thing will be me talking to random strangers and making conversations or something. I don't know. I just have a lot to work on. A lot of trust issues lol - A LOT of trust issues. Inevitably me liking guys will come up. I'm bi. My friends know I like guys, but I've never really talked to them about it. Hell, I've only come out ONCE without texting and that was to my parents. Now I'll have to tell this stranger? It just seems really daunting. I've never even talked boys before. I want to be able to say "I met this really great guy and everything" just like I'll say "I met this really great girl and everything" during the sessions, but I'm really just nervous about how he'll react. Most of the suburb is Republican and here's this LGBT dude (me) who's the least conservative anyone could possibly get around here... and it's just... I don't know. I'm just scared or something. Like he'll rush to judgements based on the fact that I like guys. Not to mention that part of my problem is the whole absentee father thing and how that seriously fucked me up. I guess I'm just scared about coming out and not knowing how or if that'll effect things.

10th Jan 2012, 07:23 PM	#2
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist Lol. I seriously have no idea what that dancing banana is doing there - it's supposed to be ( ! )

10th Jan 2012, 07:35 PM	#3
EM68 Happily Married! :) EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about. Location: Stoughton, Massachusetts USA Age: 43 Posts: 4,288 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist Don't worry about coming out to your therapist. They are trained to be subjective. If you can not come out to them and want to print out this post and give it to them. __________________ I'm beautiful in my way, 'Cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I was Born This Way -Lady Gaga

10th Jan 2012, 07:52 PM	#4
AloneOutHere LAX LSM Regular Member Gender: Imma bro not a hoe Orientation: Dicks not Chicks Out Status: I came out 5-3-12 Location: Estados Unidos Age: 15 Posts: 160 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist Hey.. just remember that he's a therapist and a professional. His job is not be judgemental but supportive and understanding. If there is anyone that you can 100% trust, it is a therapist. __________________ Let's get one thing straight, I'm not.

10th Jan 2012, 08:33 PM	#5
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist Coming out to anyone is a big deal but it doesnt have to be. You are who you are and you should be proud of it. I see no reason why you so worry about your therapist thinking bad about you. His job is to help you. He will not hate or judge you for any reason. Try not to stress over this. I know what I am saying is easy for me to say but it is something that you should think about. We are all here to help you in anyway we can.

11th Jan 2012, 05:26 AM	#6
Chip EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,544 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist There's a saying I have about therapists. If you have the right one, you should be able to go in to him or her and say that you enjoy sex with hammers, gerbils, and large jars of mayonnaise, and have them respond with "I see. And how does that make you feel?" or something equally blase or benign. Therapists are by nature trained to be nonjudgmental. And any therapist worth a crap will have extensive experience working with LGBT people, so it won't faze him or her in the slightest to have you come out, nor will it cause any change in his judgment of you. (The one exception is, it may help him or her better understand some of the underlying issues you're having, as being closeted impacts a lot of aspects of self, self-esteem, confidence, and other issues.) And I do understand what you're feeling... I can remember being absolutely petrified when I came out to my therapist... but really, it's a no-brainer and there's no reason whatsoever to be concerned.

11th Jan 2012, 11:02 AM	#7
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,360 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist If you think you're going to have a tough time telling your therapist...print out your first post, and hand it to him. Lex

12th Jan 2012, 06:13 PM	#8
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist I did it. But I had to do it over e-mail...

12th Jan 2012, 06:25 PM	#10
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Nervous about coming out to my therapist Thats is great to hear. You did it. You took the step forward. __________________ "If men could only know each other, they would neither idolise nor hate." - Elbert Hubbard.

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