is he straight or gay? what should i do

[Anonymous]

in my late 20s. met a guy a while back at a straight party and he was also in his 20s. he seemed straight to me and i did not think anything of it. i guesss he was new to town so he was looking for friends. i didn't get a gay vibe from him at all because he acted straight and in general seemed straight but when i met him i remembered him looking at me in a way that seemed a lil like when you see someoen you are physically attracted to. anyway, guys never really proactively contact me to hang out so i was surprised when he continually asked me to hang out via text message and phone. something about it just seemed odd to me because that almost never happens wtih straight guys (im not out by the way). also via phone he would always always talk about girls and asked me about girls all the time (so you got a girl, where your girl, where are the girls at, what parties have the nicest girls...blah blah blah). i hung out with him one time and it was always the same thing girls girls girls and asking me about where mine was and if i had one. i just would tell him i wasnt dating anyone right now. anyway, he was a nice guy but i did not feel like coming out to him because he is hyper masculine in terms of the girl thing and we weren't that cool anyway so i would avoid hanging with him and stopped respondign to his requests. he still continues to ask me to hang out and i think we will soon but i know he will start asking me about girls again. i know someone here will say "just come out" but i definitely do not want to come out to him. i do not like him romantically and i can't say he is or isn't a good friend. i just know that there's not a big need or feeling i have to come out to him. but is this normal to alwalys ask someone about girls 247? i mean, my thing is, if you like girls and you can get girls whats teh big thing or need to talk about it 247? everytime when i was with him in the past, everytime a girl walked by he would turn around and look at her behind or check or out or have something to say everytime. it was annoying after a while becuase it seemed so over done and its not like we're teenagers so not sure what the big deal is. i dont want to talk about girls with him. should i just continue to avoid or should i hang out. something tells me he is bisexual. but i have nothing that would make me think that. i just feel it. even if he is bi, i'm not interested in him. any advice on what to do here? i dont want to be rude and blow him off but i do not want to talk about getting girls or girls if we hang out.

[Lexington]

I don't get too much sense that he's gay/bi. It just sounds like he's a bit overly-desperate for a friend, and so he's hanging on to the one "lead" he has gotten. And maybe he's hoping you'll lead him to the girls.

What do you do? Just what you've been doing - stop responding to his calls/texts/messages. If you'd rather be more proactive, just tell him you don't feel like hanging out with him.

Lex

[Hidinginalabama]

Just tell him you like hanging out with him but 247 girls is getting old. And I have to agree with lex I dont think he is bi. But just keep hanging out with him and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

you may be right. he has said in teh past, "i know you know were the girls are". but when i introduced him to some girls he never followed up on them. i dont want to be rude. he is nice. i am just not really in a comfortable place sexuality wise and all the girl interrogation just drains me.

[Lexington]

It just sounds like you don't like him all that much. Which is fine, so just don't bother responding.

Lex

[Anonymous]

thanks. i can't face him head on. the sad thing is not too many guys actively request to hang out with me. i'm always the one doing the work, so essentially this is what i wanted but i wished it wasn't so girl-finding centric. i think he is looking for a wingman to club with and bring home the chicks with and help him pull them in. i dont play wingman very well. it bores me.