why are the people you are least interested in the ones that CANT stop calling/textin

[Anonymous]

i just need to know why this happens. you meet someone, you give them their number, you really really like them. you end up going out or texting back and forth but it just falls off. they do not reach back out.

meanwhile the people that you are not interested in, cannot seem to STOP calling adn texting you and asking you to hang out. you do not give these people any inidcation taht you like them like that but they can't seem to leave you alone. however, the people you really like alsways seems like you have to put so much work into them.

why does it happen that the people you like dont like you back and the poeple you do not like, can't seem to get enough.

when my phone rings or i get a text its always from the guys i am not interested in, so much so that i even stop responding adn they still can't seem to get the hint. i guess imi wondering, am i doing something to attract the people i do not want and make the people i do want flee from me? any advice.

p.s. i am not overly aggressive with people i like. i merely ask them to hang out or grab drinks or whatever, but i do not force it. i figure if someone is interested they will let me know. i will ask twice and maybe a third time if the person seems interested in me and continues to talk to me but after that, i fall off. so it's not like i'm pestering anyone. but gosh these other guys dont seem to take the hint.

if i like 3 guys and dislike 1, the one i dislike will contact me the most. does anyone have any explanation for this?

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

i just need to know why this happens. you meet someone, you give them their number, you really really like them. you end up going out or texting back and forth but it just falls off. they do not reach back out.

meanwhile the people that you are not interested in, cannot seem to STOP calling adn texting you and asking you to hang out. you do not give these people any inidcation taht you like them like that but they can't seem to leave you alone. however, the people you really like alsways seems like you have to put so much work into them.

why does it happen that the people you like dont like you back and the poeple you do not like, can't seem to get enough.

when my phone rings or i get a text its always from the guys i am not interested in, so much so that i even stop responding adn they still can't seem to get the hint. i guess imi wondering, am i doing something to attract the people i do not want and make the people i do want flee from me? any advice.

p.s. i am not overly aggressive with people i like. i merely ask them to hang out or grab drinks or whatever, but i do not force it. i figure if someone is interested they will let me know. i will ask twice and maybe a third time if the person seems interested in me and continues to talk to me but after that, i fall off. so it's not like i'm pestering anyone. but gosh these other guys dont seem to take the hint.

if i like 3 guys and dislike 1, the one i dislike will contact me the most. does anyone have any explanation for this?

If you don't like him then maybe a lot of other people don't like him and he has trouble finding dates. So, if he thinks you've rejected him but there is still a chance if he keeps asking, what does he have to lose by being persistent? Some of the best relationships I know (albeit straight ones) though are ones where the guy pursued the girl for months/years!

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

If you don't like him then maybe a lot of other people don't like him and he has trouble finding dates. So, if he thinks you've rejected him but there is still a chance if he keeps asking, what does he have to lose by being persistent? Some of the best relationships I know (albeit straight ones) though are ones where the guy pursued the girl for months/years!

yikes! i guess they figure they will eventually wear you down. lol. that sounds like stalking to me.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

yikes! i guess they figure they will eventually wear you down. lol. that sounds like stalking to me.

It's not stalking, it's just wanting to get to know you. Just give a simple "I'm not interested in a relationship, sorry".

[Anonymous]

Can you stop giving your number to guys you're not interested in so you don't get their hopes up?

This made me think of something. The guys you want probably feel about you the same way you feel about the guys that you don't want. At least you don't contact the guys you want as much as the guys contacting you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you, just making an observation. We want what (and who) we can't have. I'm all for persistence, but where is the line between persistence and harassment? I suppose it varies for each of us, but if you tell a guy, "please don't contact me again" and he does, that crosses the line. I would feel bad being that blunt, and maybe that's why you aren't that direct. On the other hand, these guys you stop responding to are left wondering, "what happened, I thought he had some interest in me?"

It's like this string of people, one above the other in some sort of pecking order. Taking this one step further, I'm assuming the pecking order is related to looks/confidence. I've found that most hot guys have confidence because people have adored them their whole lives and people gravitate to them. It's a proven fact, even infants will look at a picture of a beautiful face more than a homely one. Of course a lot of other guys are confident too. So who are the hottest guys at the top contacting and not getting a response? I guess no one is contacting the guys at the bottom. No one is contacting me so I guess I know where I fit in this string

[Anonymous]

just want to add a little something here.

in my experience... which is very limited I think but still, I think it's best to be as honest and as clear as possible.

example.

I met this guy -- he was very persistent with me at first, we didn't meet in person first but we texted and had fbook contact. He wanted to meet up and pretty much twisted my arm into doing it the first time. We met up and all went well and I got a bit of interest in him to.

So I texted him, made a move this time.

He was hesitant but he had excuse after excuse and just kept giving different reasons he couldn't meet up but "he really, really wanted too! soon soon". This went on for a while. And after a couple tries I realized he just wasn't interested and I looked like a complete ass.

Moral of the story -- you can think you are sparing someones feelings by saying that your not interested but in my opinion, in the end they will find out anyway and it kinda sucks more to realize you have been putting yourself out there and looking like a bit of an ass.

I don't know -- it happened to me, I didn't like it so now I refuse to do it. If I have no interest at all I make it super clear in the nicest way possible

[Anonymous]

op here. well thanks all. yes, i have stopped giving my number out to people im not intersred in. i just tell them i do not want to date them and only may want to be friends or that i'm not intersred in dating right now.

i do not like telling people not to contact me. i feel like if i am not answering your calls or text messages than that should tell you something and if i have to tell you to stop callin me you are already off your rocker anyway so telling you isn't really goign to make it more clear.