My story of how I made it.

[Hidinginalabama]

This is my story of the day that was almost my last. Note it is long.

Almost a year ago I was sitting in my travil trailer just got off work. It had been one of the worst days ever in my life. Guys at work were giving me shit all day long for no reason. My heater had just broke and it was -15 out side. And to top it all off I had got to the point where I couldnt lie to myself anymore. I knew I was gay. That one word meant so much to me that all my mind could do was think of ending my life. I had so much fear when the thought came to my head. What will my parents say, do or think? What about my twin brother? What about my two sisters? I had alread known what my grandparents would say because every one in the family know what they think of gays. And most of all how could I live a life with another man. All these thoughts came to my mind as I was freazing out side trying to fix my heater. Witch by the way never worked again and I ended up having to buy a new one.

Then about midnight I was sitting on my bed with my gun in my hand. Just looking at it. I had already written a note for my family. But I had left out the fact that I was gay in the note. I just couldnt handle that fact of anyone finding out. I was sitting there gun in hand. Already loaded just thinking how I could make all the pain go away. Wanting to scream for help. But some how I made it past that night. Some how I put my gun down and went to sleep. I just kept thinking to myself I cant do that to my family.

The weeks went on. Weeks came to mounths and then it was the summer. I went up to chicago to live with my sister for the summer. And one of the fist things she tells me that we are going to do that summer was go to pride. I had never told her that I was gay or that I had been fighting the fact that I was gay. I think her making me go with her to pride changed my life for the better. From that day on I knew I could live a very happy life with another man and that point on I had to stop being some one who I was not.

Mounths later I had come out to my parents, my twin brother, and both of my sisters. It was not easy, it was not fun. But I did it and now I am here writing my story so all those out there that are in the closet so deep and dark looking for away out. Can know and see that it does get better. There is light and happiness out side of the closet. You just have to look at the next say and say to yourself that tomorrow will be better. Because in the end it is.

I hope this helps some one with what they are going through. And thanks you if you have read up to this point I know its a lot. NEVER FORGET IT DOES GET BETTER.

[Sunsetting]

wow, thanks for sharing man and thanks for putting down the gun. i'm glad you made it!
random....why the heck did she ask you to go to pride?!

[Hidinginalabama]

Because she had never gown before and she did not want to go alone. Or that is what she told me.

[Sunsetting]

wow, so you think it was she may have thought it might have been good for you?

[Jerseyboy]

Thanks for sharing man =)

[Anonymous]

There is a light that never goes out .