A Little Problem

[Anonymous]

Usually, I would be able to post from my usual name. However, I'm not brave enough on this one.

I'm gay (openly), and there is this guy in my Algebra II/Trig class, and I can not stop staring at him. Every time he talks, laughs, etc. I get distracted and cannot focus anymore. I have, in the past, fallen for him, and then not liked him, then started liking him again, and it is just a never ending cycle.

Not to mention, he is a friend, and ex-best friend. He used to know I liked him, he doesn't know now.

[Mirko]

Hi there! Having a crush on a friend is never easy, and when it comes back, it can be even harder than the first time around. What was his reaction when you told him that you like him?

Creating distance is your best chance of getting over your crush. Being together in a class, makes it a bit more complicated. What I would suggest is that you try to keep him as a friend but also try to forge new friendships, or get to know other friends better. Try to hang out or do things with other friends as much as you can. Even though you see him on a regular basis, doing other things without him, and with others, might provide you with enough of a distraction, for you to be able to start turning the page.

Fighting against thoughts and feelings can make them even stronger. When your thoughts wander and you start thinking about him, acknowledge these thoughts and try to tell yourself "there they are," but keep doing what you were doing. With time, it will become easier, and you will be able to move on.

[Anonymous]

Here's some advice that I've formulated over the years, with some personal experience and input from others:

It's not worth liking someone if its mutual. Ask yourself WHY you like this person, and what could come out of "chasing" after someone. If he once knew that you liked him, but didn't show any attraction back (as it seems from your post), then you'll do yourself a great favor by dropping whatever affection you have now. Is he just another pretty boy? Are your feelings just a little overwhelming right now? Can you just call this a little unrequited crush? These things are never worth pursuing.

Hard, cold truth? If he doesn't like you, stop fooling yourself into liking him. You sound young; focus on other aspects of your life and let this crush subside.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Here's some advice that I've formulated over the years, with some personal experience and input from others:

It's not worth liking someone if its mutual. Ask yourself WHY you like this person, and what could come out of "chasing" after someone. If he once knew that you liked him, but didn't show any attraction back (as it seems from your post), then you'll do yourself a great favor by dropping whatever affection you have now. Is he just another pretty boy? Are your feelings just a little overwhelming right now? Can you just call this a little unrequited crush? These things are never worth pursuing.

Hard, cold truth? If he doesn't like you, stop fooling yourself into liking him. You sound young; focus on other aspects of your life and let this crush subside.

Poster of the above: just wanted to clarify a typo.
It's not worth liking someone if its NOT mutual.

[Anonymous]

I understand the fact that I shouldn't fall for him, and I'm not trying to chase him.

No matter what, when he talks, laughs, etc., I have to look and I can't stop staring. I hate it. We're friends, and I don't want that to change.

He's not another "pretty boy," as you call it, but there are plenty of those I've fallen for at my school; I don't know why.

Thanks for all the help!