Time difference - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Mlpguy88 · 18th Jan 2012, 11:17 AM

Was there a gap between when you first knew your orientation/gender and when you accepted it?

For me, I knew I was gay when I was 12 but it took me until I was 20 to accept it.

-I like to compare stories so I'm just curious, not a big deal if you don't want to say anything.

thecat06 · 18th Jan 2012, 11:32 AM

For me I knew when I was a freshman in high school, but did not accept it until I was a senior in college.

Uniboth · 18th Jan 2012, 08:03 PM

I knew and understood I was gay in 7th grade...about 12 years old. I only came to term with what that meant last year (12 years later), as a result of the worst case of 'the crush' I've yet to encounter

.

JoshB · 18th Jan 2012, 08:07 PM

There definitely was a huge time difference, 3-4 years. Yeah, it took me some time. Glad that part of my life is over, and I've been able to move onward and upwards.

Anonymous · 18th Jan 2012, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thecat06

For me I knew when I was a freshman in high school, but did not accept it until I was a senior in college.

Dammit... that was supposed to be a senior in high school.. I'm only a freshman in college..lol.

thecat06 · 18th Jan 2012, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Quote:

Originally Posted by thecat06

For me I knew when I was a freshman in high school, but did not accept it until I was a senior in college.

Dammit... that was supposed to be a senior in high school.. I'm only a freshman in college..lol.

^^ and that was me... wow I'm really on it tonight...

duriru · 18th Jan 2012, 08:14 PM

I probably knew since I was 12, but I didn't think much of it until I was like 16. I never really rejected myself for being gay. I just pushed it to the back of my mind and though "I'll deal with this later". I started dealing with it like around last year's November, and I'm still working on it.

alex2020 · 18th Jan 2012, 09:59 PM

I knew I was gay around the start of high school, but I didn't accept myself until the start of my sophomore year of college (my present grade).

Jessica816 · 18th Jan 2012, 10:05 PM

I knew I was gay when I was about 13, well I knew I was attracted to women. I didn't fully except that I'm a lesbian till around 21 and ill be 23 next month.

**Filip** · 19th Jan 2012, 04:03 AM

Well, it went in three stages, really.

I first started noticing an attraction to guys when I was 13.
However, in a remarkable feat of doublethink I managed to never consciously think about what that meant. I stopped myself from wondering whether I was gay and just insisted on blind faith that I would someday wake up with a desire for girls instead.

It was only when I was 24 that I really admitted to myself that this was how things were going to stay and that I'd best resign myself to being gay.

"Resign" being the key word here. It felt more like a cross to bear. It wasn't really acceptance as I feel today. That actually only happened after coming out, and finding out it really wasn't a big deal. There wasn't really a big moment when I started being OK with it, mainly a sequence of talking to people both IRL and here. I was fully OK with myself by the time I was 26, though.

Nadski · 19th Jan 2012, 04:25 AM

you're not alone, it takes some people many years until they accept themselves. i also knew when i was 12, however i denied it until i was 14. But there are people i know of who also knew at a really young age, however have not been able to accept themselves until they were in their mid to late twenties.

electrolicious · 19th Jan 2012, 04:34 AM

I knew and accepted I was bisexual when I was 12. I didn't learn about the term pansexual until I was about 17, but it was immediate acceptance again. For me, sexual orientation has never been a huge deal.

For gender, it took me a couple years to accept myself though.

Trekkie · 19th Jan 2012, 04:35 AM

I knew when i was about 11 to 12 and have never had a problem with it have always been ok with the fact im gay it was just normal to me shame everyone else around me cant see it that way lol

sanguine · 19th Jan 2012, 04:37 AM

gosh i was into guys when i was like 6, that was also around the same time i figured out from people that having same sex attraction was a no no.

LOL i had the Biggest crush on the dude that use to play James bond forgot his name but that's not important anymore

i accepted the fact i was gay when i was 14

came out a month before turning 18

Anonymous · 19th Jan 2012, 06:06 AM

I probably should've known something was up when I was, like, four and wanted to be a witch for Halloween... or when I rejected the lead role in, Noah's Ark because I refused to be married to a *gasp* woman.

But I didn't realize I liked men until I was about nine or ten. It wasn't hard for me to come to terms with it at all, and I remember even being excited about it, like something had been missing but I found it.

I'm still not quite sure whether I'm bisexual and homoromantic, or just plain gay - but I'll figure it out someday.

Anonymous · 19th Jan 2012, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I probably should've known something was up when I was, like, four and wanted to be a witch for Halloween... or when I rejected the lead role in, Noah's Ark because I refused to be married to a *gasp* woman.

But I didn't realize I liked men until I was about nine or ten. It wasn't hard for me to come to terms with it at all, and I remember even being excited about it, like something had been missing but I found it.

I'm still not quite sure whether I'm bisexual and homoromantic, or just plain gay - but I'll figure it out someday.

I need to stop forgetting to uncheck the, "make post anonymously," box.

b0i70y · 19th Jan 2012, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I probably should've known something was up when I was, like, four and wanted to be a witch for Halloween... or when I rejected the lead role in, Noah's Ark because I refused to be married to a *gasp* woman.

But I didn't realize I liked men until I was about nine or ten. It wasn't hard for me to come to terms with it at all, and I remember even being excited about it, like something had been missing but I found it.

I'm still not quite sure whether I'm bisexual and homoromantic, or just plain gay - but I'll figure it out someday.

I need to stop forgetting to uncheck the, "make post anonymously," box.

I'm an idiot. A really, really, really big idiot.

Anonymous · 19th Jan 2012, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b0i70y

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I probably should've known something was up when I was, like, four and wanted to be a witch for Halloween... or when I rejected the lead role in, Noah's Ark because I refused to be married to a *gasp* woman.

But I didn't realize I liked men until I was about nine or ten. It wasn't hard for me to come to terms with it at all, and I remember even being excited about it, like something had been missing but I found it.

I'm still not quite sure whether I'm bisexual and homoromantic, or just plain gay - but I'll figure it out someday.

I need to stop forgetting to uncheck the, "make post anonymously," box.

I'm an idiot. A really, really, really big idiot.

Sorry about posting in anon. But none of the other categories seemed like the right place to ask this question.

Mlpguy88 · 19th Jan 2012, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Quote:

Originally Posted by b0i70y

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I probably should've known something was up when I was, like, four and wanted to be a witch for Halloween... or when I rejected the lead role in, Noah's Ark because I refused to be married to a *gasp* woman.

But I didn't realize I liked men until I was about nine or ten. It wasn't hard for me to come to terms with it at all, and I remember even being excited about it, like something had been missing but I found it.

I'm still not quite sure whether I'm bisexual and homoromantic, or just plain gay - but I'll figure it out someday.

I need to stop forgetting to uncheck the, "make post anonymously," box.

I'm an idiot. A really, really, really big idiot.

Sorry about posting in anon. But none of the other categories seemed like the right place to ask this question.

Crap! I did the same thing

FJ Cruiser · 19th Jan 2012, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Filip

I first started noticing an attraction to guys when I was 13.
However, in a remarkable feat of doublethink I managed to never consciously think about what that meant. I stopped myself from wondering whether I was gay and just insisted on blind faith that I would someday wake up with a desire for girls instead.

Wow, this is crazy. I was the exact same way. I was so buried in old-fashioned religion that I didn't even allow myself to consider what my attractions meant. Sure, I didn't fantasize about anything but guys and didn't show any interest in girls, but I was still going to end up with a girl. Doublethink is the perfect word for it. (BTW, if any of you haven't read 1984, I highly recommend it.)

My attractions came up around 12 or 13. By the time I was a senior in high school and hadn't even crushed on a girl, I decided it was time to be real with myself. I was 18 when I accepted it.

18th Jan 2012, 11:17 AM	#1
Mlpguy88 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Michigan Age: 21 Posts: 515 Join Date: Nov 2011	Time difference Was there a gap between when you first knew your orientation/gender and when you accepted it? For me, I knew I was gay when I was 12 but it took me until I was 20 to accept it. -I like to compare stories so I'm just curious, not a big deal if you don't want to say anything.

18th Jan 2012, 11:32 AM	#2
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,460 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Time difference For me I knew when I was a freshman in high school, but did not accept it until I was a senior in college. __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

18th Jan 2012, 08:03 PM	#3
Uniboth Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Posts: 138 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Time difference I knew and understood I was gay in 7th grade...about 12 years old. I only came to term with what that meant last year (12 years later), as a result of the worst case of 'the crush' I've yet to encounter .

18th Jan 2012, 08:07 PM	#4
JoshB Future Surgeon Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Ask, I Tell. Location: New York Posts: 34 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: Time difference There definitely was a huge time difference, 3-4 years. Yeah, it took me some time. Glad that part of my life is over, and I've been able to move onward and upwards. __________________ Pre-Med; Graduates from HS in 2012.

18th Jan 2012, 08:14 PM	#7
duriru Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13 Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Honduras Age: 18 Posts: 982 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Time difference I probably knew since I was 12, but I didn't think much of it until I was like 16. I never really rejected myself for being gay. I just pushed it to the back of my mind and though "I'll deal with this later". I started dealing with it like around last year's November, and I'm still working on it.

18th Jan 2012, 09:59 PM	#8
alex2020 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everybody important, and anybody who asks. Location: Florida Age: 19 Posts: 1,437 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: Time difference I knew I was gay around the start of high school, but I didn't accept myself until the start of my sophomore year of college (my present grade). __________________ “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.”

18th Jan 2012, 10:05 PM	#9
Jessica816 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bi-romantic lesbian? Still working on it Out Status: Out loud and so very proud Location: Kansas city, Mo Age: 23 Posts: 255 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Time difference I knew I was gay when I was about 13, well I knew I was attracted to women. I didn't fully except that I'm a lesbian till around 21 and ill be 23 next month. __________________ "Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."

19th Jan 2012, 04:03 AM	#10
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 28 Posts: 3,357 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Time difference Well, it went in three stages, really. I first started noticing an attraction to guys when I was 13. However, in a remarkable feat of doublethink I managed to never consciously think about what that meant. I stopped myself from wondering whether I was gay and just insisted on blind faith that I would someday wake up with a desire for girls instead. It was only when I was 24 that I really admitted to myself that this was how things were going to stay and that I'd best resign myself to being gay. "Resign" being the key word here. It felt more like a cross to bear. It wasn't really acceptance as I feel today. That actually only happened after coming out, and finding out it really wasn't a big deal. There wasn't really a big moment when I started being OK with it, mainly a sequence of talking to people both IRL and here. I was fully OK with myself by the time I was 26, though. __________________ To the world, you're somebody, but to somebody, you're the world...

19th Jan 2012, 04:25 AM	#11
Nadski Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to some friends + a few family members Location: Australia Age: 16 Posts: 36 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Time difference you're not alone, it takes some people many years until they accept themselves. i also knew when i was 12, however i denied it until i was 14. But there are people i know of who also knew at a really young age, however have not been able to accept themselves until they were in their mid to late twenties.

19th Jan 2012, 04:34 AM	#12
electrolicious Member Full Member Gender: Male (FTM) Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Out to those who matter Location: Massachusetts Posts: 55 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Time difference I knew and accepted I was bisexual when I was 12. I didn't learn about the term pansexual until I was about 17, but it was immediate acceptance again. For me, sexual orientation has never been a huge deal. For gender, it took me a couple years to accept myself though.

19th Jan 2012, 04:35 AM	#13
Trekkie The Monster Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: London Age: 24 Posts: 78 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Time difference I knew when i was about 11 to 12 and have never had a problem with it have always been ok with the fact im gay it was just normal to me shame everyone else around me cant see it that way lol

19th Jan 2012, 04:37 AM	#14
sanguine a cow Full Member Gender: cow Orientation: cows Out Status: i dont care Location: Sydney Australia Age: 18 Posts: 437 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Time difference gosh i was into guys when i was like 6, that was also around the same time i figured out from people that having same sex attraction was a no no. LOL i had the Biggest crush on the dude that use to play James bond forgot his name but that's not important anymore i accepted the fact i was gay when i was 14 came out a month before turning 18 __________________ The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but has no vision. Value yourself. The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes Last edited by sanguine; 19th Jan 2012 at 04:40 AM..

19th Jan 2012, 06:06 AM	#15
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Time difference I probably should've known something was up when I was, like, four and wanted to be a witch for Halloween... or when I rejected the lead role in, Noah's Ark because I refused to be married to a gasp woman. But I didn't realize I liked men until I was about nine or ten. It wasn't hard for me to come to terms with it at all, and I remember even being excited about it, like something had been missing but I found it. I'm still not quite sure whether I'm bisexual and homoromantic, or just plain gay - but I'll figure it out someday.

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