Finally hit my breaking point

[Anonymous]

This might be kind of long but if you could just bear with me because I really need some advice. Things are getting worse lately with everything in my life and I have no one to help me. I have so much going on in my life right now and I really can't keep it together anymore. I have to be the strong one for everyone in my life. My mom is really sick, my dad (who rarely speaks to me) is a depressed, suicidal, alcoholic, my best friend is suicidal and has already attempted suicide once this year and my girlfriend is a recovering drug addict with a horrific home life. I put on the fake smile and positive attitude for all of them and try to get them through what's going on with them while also taking care of what I have to do and it usually works out good for me. Recently a lot has happened and I don't know what I should do. The major thing that's troubling me right now is that my college called earlier and the classes I'm registered for have been cancelled for the entire semester and I tried looking for other ones online but all of the classes I need for my program are full already so I really don't know what to do. The one option I see is to leave for the semester and get my GED (the program I'm in at college gets me my GED and college credits simultaneously) so I can get a job working at my mom's school this summer and go back to college in the fall. No one will hire me because I don't have a diploma and I can't get to a job too far from where I live because I still don't have my license. The problem with doing that is that my mom said if I do that she won't pay for me to go back to school and that I can't live in her house if I don't go to college and have a job. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with this. I'm just so lost and overwhelmed right now and all I want to do is go back to my old bad habits (cutting :/) but if I do that I'll be a hypocrite to my best friend and my girlfriend because I tell them not to do that and that it won't solve anything. I don't even know what kind of response I'm looking for with this. I just have no one to talk to about what I'm going through because I don't want to put my problems on the other people in my life. I don't want them to see me break down. Sorry for the rant.

[phospholipase]

Hold on tight and stay strong. Things will look up in time, and you'll look back, learn, and steer your life onto a great path. Oftentimes things can seem clouded at the instant you're going through things, but with time, you'll better understand things and be more rational with decisions and thoughts.

Don't deny yourself a bright future in a single instance. Right now is just a snapshot of your life, but you have an entire motion picture to film and produce. I know it can be a happy one, but you must finish this scene first and move forward with the next.

This song often helps me see things in a better light. Don't let once instance determine what you still have stored.

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