feel digusted after watching sex video

[Anonymous]

i am new to the idea of men wit men so i wanted to see what sex was like so i watched a video but athough it was kinda hot it also made me feel wrong and gross to see two men havin sex and makes me not wanna b gay cuz i would feel more dirty if i did the act. helpppppppp

[Anonymous]

Hello. It's common for people to feel guilty after masturbating or watching porn. I am assuming that you're watching gay men for the first time. You shouldn't be disgusted by this.

Have you seen other types of sex videos before? And were you comfortable watching it for the first time? Sometimes it might just be that you're trying something new and don't know what to expect (you also probably don't want anybody to know what you've been up to). Without knowing how you identify, I am going to assume that you're still curious. We're living in a world that currently frowns upon homosexuality, so it may be that in your mind you've created this sort of disgust in line with society to try to "make" yourself straight.

There's nothing wrong with feeling aroused by same sex videos, or anything like that. There are multiple reasons:
(1) Homosexuality does not equal having sex
(2) Even with sex, there are many different types; what you've seen isn't the only thing you can do
(3) If societal pressures are the reason for feeling disgusted, then consider this story that I'm going to make up for whatever reason

---
Society says that homosexuality is bad; people who identify as such feel bad for liking the same sex.
Liking the same sex imposes no harm on any other person; it takes nothing away from the rights of other people.
Assuming you're living in a free country, you should have every right to like what you like so long as it doesn't impose on other people's rights.

It's society today that frowns upon homosexuality. There is no intrinsic evil in liking what you like as long as it follows the conditions mentioned above.

You may like the color orange. Nobody is telling you that you can't like it, or that you should feel disgusted for liking it. But then consider a world in which, by some unexplained phenomenon, orange is a color that most people do not approve of. Let's say that you secretly buy orange clothes, or secretly paint your room orange. You're not hurting anybody, but by society's standards, you are committing an immoral act.

Crazy right?

---

Bottom line: it may take some time to be comfortable with any type of porn (especially if you're still going through puberty, in which case everything seems awkward). What I'm saying is that you shouldn't feel disgusted. You're not harming anybody.

[phospholipase]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Hello. It's common for people to feel guilty after masturbating or watching porn. I am assuming that you're watching gay men for the first time. You shouldn't be disgusted by this.

Have you seen other types of sex videos before? And were you comfortable watching it for the first time? Sometimes it might just be that you're trying something new and don't know what to expect (you also probably don't want anybody to know what you've been up to). Without knowing how you identify, I am going to assume that you're still curious. We're living in a world that currently frowns upon homosexuality, so it may be that in your mind you've created this sort of disgust in line with society to try to "make" yourself straight.

There's nothing wrong with feeling aroused by same sex videos, or anything like that. There are multiple reasons:
(1) Homosexuality does not equal having sex
(2) Even with sex, there are many different types; what you've seen isn't the only thing you can do
(3) If societal pressures are the reason for feeling disgusted, then consider this story that I'm going to make up for whatever reason

---
Society says that homosexuality is bad; people who identify as such feel bad for liking the same sex.
Liking the same sex imposes no harm on any other person; it takes nothing away from the rights of other people.
Assuming you're living in a free country, you should have every right to like what you like so long as it doesn't impose on other people's rights.

It's society today that frowns upon homosexuality. There is no intrinsic evil in liking what you like as long as it follows the conditions mentioned above.

You may like the color orange. Nobody is telling you that you can't like it, or that you should feel disgusted for liking it. But then consider a world in which, by some unexplained phenomenon, orange is a color that most people do not approve of. Let's say that you secretly buy orange clothes, or secretly paint your room orange. You're not hurting anybody, but by society's standards, you are committing an immoral act.

Crazy right?

---

Bottom line: it may take some time to be comfortable with any type of porn (especially if you're still going through puberty, in which case everything seems awkward). What I'm saying is that you shouldn't feel disgusted. You're not harming anybody.

Hello. I'm the poster of the above (I wanted to make my post not anonymous, but I forgot to check the box).

I just wanted to add that, once you know more clearly what your sexual orientation is, don't try to change yourself. It's prevailing belief in the (scientific) world that you're born with it. I want to say again that sex is a choice, and you don't have to participate in it, if it disgusts you.

Being judgmental and making assumptions, I say you sound like you're pretty young by the way you type. Perhaps in time you'd find yourself more comfortable with the idea of man with man.

I remember being in the 6th grade and thinking that adults who viewed provocation materials were gross. I didn't want to grow up to be like them. But in a few years, things changed (I'll leave this part ambiguous).

[Chip]

Hi, and welcome to EC (I'm assuming you're new.)

The previous poster did a good job of explaining things.

I'll just add, on a more emotional/feeling level... there's often a really sinking feeling, a combination of anxiety, nausea, and revulsion... when one first starts to confront the idea that s/he might be gay. It's arguably worse for guys than for girls because we are told, from the time we're barely old enough to talk, that we should be masculine and strong and love women.

So when we discover the feelings we have aren't like others around us, it's distressing, alienating, and scary. In short, yes, you can be grossed out and attracted to it at the same time. That's pretty normal.

You don't need to decide where you fit on the sexuality spectrum tomorrow or next week or next month. But it seems like you already have an inkling of where you might be headed. So just relax and let your mind explore a bit. Feel things out. Allow yourself to check out girls and guys when you're out and about, and see what attracts you. Watch some gay porn and some straight porn, with different types of guys and girls. Masturbate thinking about girls, and then do it thinking about guys. All of these things will point you in the direction of where your true feelings are.

Now... you'll likely have all sorts of mindgames that your unconscious will play on you... it's normal to try and deny the feelings if you find yourself moving in the direction of being bisexual or gay. But talk about them here and ask as many questions as you want, and you'll get to your particular truth over time.

Let us know how it goes, and if you want to talk individually with me or any of our advisor team, that's what we're here for, so feel free to send any of us a PM.

[Anonymous]

dude, its the OP. thanks so much for all your help. yea both of you are right. its like when you're born you're totally brainwashed by other people telling you who you are supposed to like. it's like, can i even have a chance to figure that out for myself. you hear stuff like boys are not supposed to do this or that, or do not do this or that because girls act like that, or dont be a "sissy" or this or that. with all the brainwashing im surprised anyone makes it past that. if being straight is natural like everyone says, then why do people feel the need to constantly convince you and brainwash you into believing that is the only natural thing to be. if it were so natural, nobody would have to mention it because you would just automatically be straight all the time.,

[BroadwayDreamer]

*Whirls around on Bohemian chair*
Preach.