err....uhn... technique?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I am a guy who has recently been exploring bisexuality.

All good and fine except for one thing.

Although all skills are, shall we say, transferable --- there is one in particular that is brand new.

I hate to get graphic, cause I am sure you know what I am leading to but... the problem isn't within exploring and learning something new sexually. The issue arises from a problem that has plagued me since I started brushing my teeth and going to the dentist. That's right folks I am referring to the gag reflex.

Unfortunately I don't just have a reflex, it's as though I have an anti foreign objects policy in there. I know where it comes from -- one of my larger fears (yes this is correct, this actually pretty much my BIGGEST fear) is throwing up. I've been this way since I was young. Its never a pretty sight trust me. Anyway when you gag you have the feeling of throwing up sort of, hence why I hate the feeling.

God this really is too graphic.

Anyway... Long story short, I suck at it -- or I don't depending on which way you look at that sentence.

Is this common when most ppl first start and does it ever get more comfortable?

Sorry again for the graphic nature of this post

[Lexington]

I can't say as I ever had an issue with it. But then again, oral sex on guys isn't "shove as much of it in your gullet as you can". It's simply "attempting to make the guy feel good using your mouth and tongue." So when you first do oral on a guy, just stick with licking to start out with. Focus on the underside "seam", but make sure to include the scrotum, and anything else you feel like including. You might try taking just the head of the penis in your mouth if you feel up to it. If you're worried that he might "thrust" further into your mouth, you can always encircle the rest of the penis with your hand to prevent that from happening.

Lex

[Robert]

What makes you think you have to deepthroat all the time?

[Anonymous]

Well let's just say I've only done it twice so I am far from an expert!

Its just that I have been sexually active since I was about 15 or 16 its been a LONG time since I have been new at something. I have only just started becoming active with men so this one act is brand new to me -- the rest is all very comparible to women so..

I just feel like I am boring in comparison. I was given the note, "your a guy just do what you know feels good" which I tried but I am simply not a natural haha. I guess I will learn from experience but I think the best thing for me to do is wait to get good with a regular partner and not worry about these two past hookups.

Thanks for the info guys

[Lexington]

When in doubt, ASK. Ask how he'd like it done, ask for feedback while you do it. Most guys won't have any trouble telling you where to hit next.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I definitely agree with lex, and it isn't a contest. Just try to make the other happy. Its also not something you have to be good at. I have done it a few times, and I don't like it. People always want to thrust. It makes me feel like someone trying to get a humping dog off their leg. Normally, if a guy seems to be wanting it, I just flat out tell them I'm not putting that in my mouth. And thats OK!

[Anonymous]

OP here!

Prob is I WANNA be good at it, haha. Its not that it is something I wanna avoid. When I was with women and if I shall be again, it is kinda my thing. I am I guess orally fixated, in the giving sense. There is something about it that is like no other. So as weird as it may sound, I wanna go pro. Lol.

[Ridiculous]

Most people find that pressure points in the hands help with the gag reflex.
You can easily activate these pressure points by squeezing the thumb of your hand in the fingers of that same hand (i.e. make a fist, but with your thumb inside covered by all the fingers, then squeeze).

For me atleast it makes the gag reflex go away almost completely (just tested again with my fingers ), and I know it helps for others as I originally learnt about it from someone else's post on here.

[Anonymous]

WHAT THE HELLS!

You are my newest hero for so many reasons. I don't know if it is placebo or if the pressure point actually works but IT WORKED!

This is gonna help me in more ways than one. No longer will I be embarrased when I get a throat swab or go to the dentist!

Ridiculous I could kiss you!

[KaraBulut]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I know where it comes from -- one of my larger fears (yes this is correct, this actually pretty much my BIGGEST fear) is throwing up.

It sounds like you're overcoming your issues with your gag reflex but just a pointer...

Deep throating is has its place but it's not necessarily the best part of a good blowjob. Most guys that give good blowjobs figure out that you can use your fist to "extend" your mouth. A little saliva, and a little wrist action in front of your mouth is a lot more pleasurable than deep throating during a blowjob, particularly if the guy is well-endowed or you have a tendency toward gagging.

[Anonymous]

OP again,

It's not necessarily deep throating -- cause that is pretty much out of the question for me... as much as it is.... like anything in my mouth I don't have complete control of. So it doesn't take very much to gag me.

I will definitely try that -- I mean, it's not like I don't really know most of these things, I've seen it done and had it done. I just get perplexed or something when it comes to doing it. Also the last guy I tried with, was well... very well endowed both in length and girth so... it was just difficult all around.

Next time I am put in the situation, which probably won't be for a while, I will try working out some of these tips!

Thanks KaraBulut

[Chip]

Another consideration is... while there's certainly a hard-wired gag reflex, at least to some extent, it is also psychological.

So it may be that at a deep unconscious level there's some message that having something in your mouth isn't good, doesn't feel safe, etc. That's something you can explore and think about and if you're the meditative type, close your eyes, breathe, and allow yourself to get in touch with the feelings you have when you are gagging and see if anything comes up for you. Sometimes just consciously thinking about it lessens the reflex.

Another very practical thing you can do is get a dildo and practice. OK, so it's not quite the same thing and nobody I know likes having a lump of silicone down their throat... but it puts you in control and helps you understand what's going on with the gag reflex.

Finally, as several others have said, nobody says you need to deep throat anyone. I know people who can do it and frankly, I'm amazed when I see someone that can just, uh, take it all in without a second thought. But as Lex said, there are plenty of ways to make someone happy without doing that

[Anonymous]

me no think that was too graphic. me think you have turbo gag reflex. me think you can practice with something before you get to real thing. maybe try popsicle, then try bigger popsicle then try bananna, me think you gain practice and throw up less. so when you get to real cucumber you handle better. if you still throw up, me think just tell partner you no likey that.