nobody look at this! its anonymous!

[Anonymous]

Hey, so today i was denied a job because the boss's son (who knows me) said "don't hire him! HE'S GAY!!!" and the boss turned around, looked at him, turned back around, looked at me and said "thank you for your time, have a nice day." i was crushed... i don't know how to get back out there..

advice?






I bet that there will be a 1:10 ratio of replies to views...

[Anonymous]

Get legal advice.
American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)
Lambda Legal.

It is illegal for potential employers to ask you about your sexual orientation. Why was his son even there?

[Sunsetting]

i didn't "look", i glanced and read very quickly hehehe.

i had a really similar experience recently where i was denied a recommendation for graduate school for the very same reason. i was devastated. it does depend on the organization/company you are applying for. in some cases it can be seen as discrimination due to sexual orientation, in other cases, the kind of organization can deny a potential employee a job if it is in their charter. depending on the situation, and where you are at personally, would determine if you want to take it further.

however, i think this is more about how you/i feel at this point. understand that it's a fact of life that all of us: straight, gay, bi, transgender, whomever, will have challenges that shake us. we have a choice of whether to let them embitter us or to meet the challenge as an opportunity to grow. i choose the latter and it leaves me more free and not angry. don't ever let bitterness, anger or resentment take root, it will poison you. that being said, you are still a talented young person, you still have giftings that are undeniable...believe that deeply, you are more than your sexuality. shake the dust from your feet and move on to another opportunity. you're a good guy, don't get yourself down for it, look forward to the good stuff ahead. peace man, you're a good guy.

[silverhalo]

Sunsetting has some very wise words, you could pursue legal advice but its probably going to be longwinded and unless you have good evidence, its going to be tough to prove possibly, but I agree that whilst it doesnt make it right sometimes its better to just be above it and think, well if thats their views its not the kind of place I would like to work anyway. Im sorry this happened to you.

[Anonymous]

That is so stupid and illegal, sue their asses till their great grandkids are having great grandkids that will teach them.....

sexuality has no effect on a persons work ethic.

[Chip]

Unfortunately, it is not illegal, except in a very few number of states, to ask about, or discriminate against someone for, sexual orientation. So unless you're in one of those states, this isn't something to pursue legally.

However... it might be worth pursuing in the court of public opinion, depending on how visible you are willing to be, and how willing you are to have some backlash from it.

If you're willing to do that, it might be worthwhile to blog about it and maybe write a brief description (similar to what you wrote above) and send it around to a few of the online gay media sites, it may get picked up and the business will certainly feel the heat from it if that happens.

If it's a mom-and-pop operation, they may not back down (and I'm not sure I'd want to work there after a stink like this, as it probably wouldn't be pleasant) but they will think twice before being so stupid again... that or they'll just be less obvious about their discrimination.

But if it's a major chain, unless it's somebody like the fucktards at chick-fil-a, they'll probably fall all over themselves to apologize and make things right.

The bottom line is whether or not it's a battle you want to fight. And that's something only you can decide.

[starfish]

Would you really want to work for that kind of a person?

[J Snow]

I would want to take legal action just to show them that what they did is not acceptable. However as was said above, it does kind of depend on the specific laws of where you live.

[Kidd]

Like Chip said, it isn't illegal, unfortunately. If it's a big corporation they probably have anti-LGBT discrimination policies however, it might be worth calling that guy's superior and inform whoever that is about what happened.

[Anonymous]

Think of it this way... would you really want to work there anyways when your boss is a homophobe?

[Filip]

Personally, I'd say it's not a legal battle worth fighting.
It's basically your word against his. And unless he's a total idiot, he'll just claim that based on the interview, in his honest opinion, you weren't the right person for the job.

(As opposed to getting fired for a job you already had over being gay, where you could at least show some evidence, like a spotless personnel record, or have colleagues testify about how you were a good employee. That one would be worth fighting, IMO)


In cases like these, I think it's best to try and get back on the horse. You didn't get this job, but that should never stop you from trying to find others.

And like others said... you nearly got a job from a guy who takes advice from his son, without question. I've heard horror stories from people who worked in companies with a similar dynamic. I'm thinking that in not hiring you, he really did you a favour in the long run.

By all means, punch a pillow, write expletives on a piece of paper, go to a place in the forest and yell your lungs out in frustration. But then write some more resumés, and send them out knowing that your odds are pretty good at having an interview with a better employer than this one!

I bet that there will be a 1:10 ratio of replies to views...

You really shouldn't get hung up on the number of views. Lots of people check threads, decide they agree with what was already said, or decide it doesn't apply to them well enough to give a reasonable advice and move on.

Plus... I think I usually open a thread at least three times before replying. I can't just fire off a reply without reading a thread, letting it settle in my mind for a bit, and then revisiting it. You wouldn't want me posting triple posts to capture that, do you?

[Ben]

It looks like you dodged a bullet. I can't imagine that it's a big loss to not be working for someone who wouldn't hire you because of your sexuality and blindly takes business advice from his son.

For the post count thing, there're lots of people who lurk, search bots count as well, and people who simply don't think they have anything to add to the thread. Having "nobody look at this" in the title might be a bit counter-productive.

[Ianthe]

Wow, most people, even bigots, are tactful enough to say those things outside your presence, rather than right in front of you.

He could easily have gotten the message across to his dad without being so blatant, too. He could just have asked if you were still with your boyfriend, or if you'd found a boyfriend, or whatever. Then his dad would have known you were gay, and could make the decision without it being obvious what the motivation was.

How stupid.

I include some gay-related stuff on my resume on purpose. If my employer is going to be homophobic, I'd rather just not get the job in the first place.

[Paper Heart]

Like everyone else said, this is a blessing in disguise. This job is probably not worth the impact that it would have on your life. If your boss didn't reject you know, he'd probably fire you when you did either come out in the workplace or were outed. Find a job where you will be appreciated for your skills, not one that will care for the trivial aspects about your life.

[Anonymous]

my advice is just look for another job somewhere else.going through the trouble of trying to sue them will be more headache than its worth. plus the boss (person who makes the decision) never said he was not going to hire you beause you were gay. he could come up with any excuse....he could say (well it seemed as though my son and this person knew each ohter and there could be some conflict there so i decided not to hire him based on that). the point is, you wouldn't want to work there anyway. the son is immature and i would not wnat to be around either of them.