Severely depressed and don't know what to do - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 19th Jan 2012, 03:17 PM

I'm a 15 yr old male and I hate my life. I've considered suicide many times before. I don't want to deal with society anymore. I have social anxiety so I can't make any friends. I'm gay and scared to come out knowing that most of the people I know are homophobic. To be honest, I'm not good at anything and have yet to find my purpose in life. I want to start counseling or taking medicine for my depression, but I am under 18 so I would have to get my parents' permission, and of course they would want to know why. I have run out of options right now.

Thatsit · 19th Jan 2012, 09:39 PM

Since you're in high school, you can at least visit a school counselor without letting your parents know (I'm pretty sure). They're job is to help you. That's why you're there. They might even have a "lgbt ally" poster/mug/anything in their room. Also, you're in high school and I can pretty much guarantee there are other people in your classes that share interests with you. I don't want to patronize you by telling you how to make friends, but a suggestion would be just to join a conversation if you overhear a topic you're interested in. Or join clubs, the semester just started. Also, are you sure those people you know are homophobic or are they just making thoughtless comments like, "that's gay" and whatnot? I hope this helps you.

Sunsetting · 19th Jan 2012, 09:51 PM

first, you can easily tell your parents that you are really feeling depressed and seriously want to talk with someone professional. then the professional is bound by privacy laws unless there's something that can physically harm you or someone else. if not them, talk with a counselor at school

now, i tell you the truth, if i haven't spoken with you before, i bet if i spent 5 minutes with you, i could tell you 10 things that were good about you. not only that, but i could probably tell you at least three things that benefit other people around you that they love about you.

now mind you, people in their 20's, 30's and 40's have questions about purpose too, but that doesn't mean that they're purposeless. it takes time to figure that out. and you just expressing yourself here is AWESOME, your openness will help you out and so will hearing the good things people speak over you.

i tell you, i felt the same way as you when i was 15, and you know what, i ain't so bad and i realized more recently that i was sensitive (in a good way), creative, thoughtful, unique, insightful, compassionate, (fun hehe)...... and i never realized it until i met people who were insensitive, boring, selfish, drones with no insight, no compassion for other people and no fun at all. so please, believe the truth about you. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and really express yourself well. what a gift you are (if i can see into you from your post, i know all of this is true... and i do think i can see it) peace man

Anonymous · 19th Jan 2012, 11:15 PM

I, too was like this at 15.. especially the part you said about not being good at anything. Let me tell you - in highschool, everyone is feeling a degree of this.. its part of adolescence, working out what you are about and your stengths.. The natural way teenagers deal with this is to pretend to be strong at everything and bottle up their emotions.

I've found that as I've aged, people are separated into different areas. People have different areas of emotional intelligence, and this is something that develops as you age. You have so many more people to meet, and so much more life to experience who will bring out parts of you that you never thought you had!

Everyone is valuable. Being gay and young is difficult, but it is easier than 10 years ago when I was in your shoes... and its getting easier and more accepted each day. I would suggest seeing the school counsellor is a good start.. coming out to him/her will have a positive impact and give you further guidance. When you can be honest about yourself with someone it is an amazing feeling, kind of like a friction effect.. and the cool thing about counsellors is that its totally confidential

Medication is not always the answer, and I would seriously consider against it. It is often over perscribed and can have difficult symptoms.. sometimes it is not a chemical imbalance that causes depression and other illnesses, and particulary at your age.. you are growing up. I can tell you, tonnes of other kids in your class are just as confused and lost/questioning all different areas of their lives. Only you can make the choice to chose medication though, so I am only giving my opinion here, I want to make that clear.

Adolescence is tough.. especially dealing with same sex attraction and finding an identity. The key here is to know you are a valuable person and I can absolutely say that aspects of your life will change and you have so much to live for.. Don't ever give up! Write down your issues, draw a plan and set a goal - you can do anything you put your mind to.

Tracker57 · 20th Jan 2012, 04:45 PM

I really feel for you. Being a teenager is hard enough. Being a teenager and gay is rougher yet. But it gets better! I have always had issues with depression, even when I got older in years. I have attempted suicide and failed, luckily. But killing yourself is not the answer. You would actually rob yourself of a being a victor over this.

Sunsetting is right. Just because you haven't found your place in the world by age 15, doesn't mean anything. Most people change many times over and remake themselves every several years. Some of the most successful, famous, and rich people in the world have come from the place where you are now. Most supermodels were ugly ducklings. The most successful people in business were the least popular in high school. Great things can await for you. Don't despair. Great things await you.

And being gay has distinct advantages for you in the business world. Advantages that I'm just realizing now. And they were all seated in my being gay when I was a kid. Dang, I love being gay!!!!!

Tracker

Anonymous · 20th Jan 2012, 08:02 PM

I completely understand what you're going through as I have social anxiety disorder and depression and i'm an in-the-closet bisexual, however I seriously think you need to sit down with your parents and tell them what you are going through as this seems to have become a serious problem, you should seek out professional help (a school counselor maybe?) immediately. And like said before there are privacy laws and so by law they can not let anything you say leave that room. (besides anything to do with self harm, or hurting someone else)

I do wish the best and wish you well, hope you get the help you need and get to feeling better just remember that there are people who love you dearly that you can always turn to in times like this if you are to scared to talk to your parents

19th Jan 2012, 03:17 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Severely depressed and don't know what to do I'm a 15 yr old male and I hate my life. I've considered suicide many times before. I don't want to deal with society anymore. I have social anxiety so I can't make any friends. I'm gay and scared to come out knowing that most of the people I know are homophobic. To be honest, I'm not good at anything and have yet to find my purpose in life. I want to start counseling or taking medicine for my depression, but I am under 18 so I would have to get my parents' permission, and of course they would want to know why. I have run out of options right now.

19th Jan 2012, 09:39 PM	#2
Thatsit aka RyanMan (or Ryan) Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: The friends I care to tell. Family'll come later Location: Champaign, Illinois Age: 21 Posts: 259 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Severely depressed and don't know what to do Since you're in high school, you can at least visit a school counselor without letting your parents know (I'm pretty sure). They're job is to help you. That's why you're there. They might even have a "lgbt ally" poster/mug/anything in their room. Also, you're in high school and I can pretty much guarantee there are other people in your classes that share interests with you. I don't want to patronize you by telling you how to make friends, but a suggestion would be just to join a conversation if you overhear a topic you're interested in. Or join clubs, the semester just started. Also, are you sure those people you know are homophobic or are they just making thoughtless comments like, "that's gay" and whatnot? I hope this helps you.

19th Jan 2012, 09:51 PM	#3
Sunsetting Banned Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: bi, straight, gay Out Status: to some family and friends Location: New York Age: 42 Posts: 950 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Severely depressed and don't know what to do first, you can easily tell your parents that you are really feeling depressed and seriously want to talk with someone professional. then the professional is bound by privacy laws unless there's something that can physically harm you or someone else. if not them, talk with a counselor at school now, i tell you the truth, if i haven't spoken with you before, i bet if i spent 5 minutes with you, i could tell you 10 things that were good about you. not only that, but i could probably tell you at least three things that benefit other people around you that they love about you. now mind you, people in their 20's, 30's and 40's have questions about purpose too, but that doesn't mean that they're purposeless. it takes time to figure that out. and you just expressing yourself here is AWESOME, your openness will help you out and so will hearing the good things people speak over you. i tell you, i felt the same way as you when i was 15, and you know what, i ain't so bad and i realized more recently that i was sensitive (in a good way), creative, thoughtful, unique, insightful, compassionate, (fun hehe)...... and i never realized it until i met people who were insensitive, boring, selfish, drones with no insight, no compassion for other people and no fun at all. so please, believe the truth about you. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and really express yourself well. what a gift you are (if i can see into you from your post, i know all of this is true... and i do think i can see it) peace man Last edited by Sunsetting; 19th Jan 2012 at 09:53 PM..

19th Jan 2012, 11:15 PM	#4
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Severely depressed and don't know what to do I, too was like this at 15.. especially the part you said about not being good at anything. Let me tell you - in highschool, everyone is feeling a degree of this.. its part of adolescence, working out what you are about and your stengths.. The natural way teenagers deal with this is to pretend to be strong at everything and bottle up their emotions. I've found that as I've aged, people are separated into different areas. People have different areas of emotional intelligence, and this is something that develops as you age. You have so many more people to meet, and so much more life to experience who will bring out parts of you that you never thought you had! Everyone is valuable. Being gay and young is difficult, but it is easier than 10 years ago when I was in your shoes... and its getting easier and more accepted each day. I would suggest seeing the school counsellor is a good start.. coming out to him/her will have a positive impact and give you further guidance. When you can be honest about yourself with someone it is an amazing feeling, kind of like a friction effect.. and the cool thing about counsellors is that its totally confidential Medication is not always the answer, and I would seriously consider against it. It is often over perscribed and can have difficult symptoms.. sometimes it is not a chemical imbalance that causes depression and other illnesses, and particulary at your age.. you are growing up. I can tell you, tonnes of other kids in your class are just as confused and lost/questioning all different areas of their lives. Only you can make the choice to chose medication though, so I am only giving my opinion here, I want to make that clear. Adolescence is tough.. especially dealing with same sex attraction and finding an identity. The key here is to know you are a valuable person and I can absolutely say that aspects of your life will change and you have so much to live for.. Don't ever give up! Write down your issues, draw a plan and set a goal - you can do anything you put your mind to.

20th Jan 2012, 04:45 PM	#5
Tracker57 Married Gay Man Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay to Stay: I'm a 5.5 on the Kinsey Scale Out Status: Only to 8 friends, and some family Location: Tampa, Florida Age: 54 Posts: 175 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Severely depressed and don't know what to do I really feel for you. Being a teenager is hard enough. Being a teenager and gay is rougher yet. But it gets better! I have always had issues with depression, even when I got older in years. I have attempted suicide and failed, luckily. But killing yourself is not the answer. You would actually rob yourself of a being a victor over this. Sunsetting is right. Just because you haven't found your place in the world by age 15, doesn't mean anything. Most people change many times over and remake themselves every several years. Some of the most successful, famous, and rich people in the world have come from the place where you are now. Most supermodels were ugly ducklings. The most successful people in business were the least popular in high school. Great things can await for you. Don't despair. Great things await you. And being gay has distinct advantages for you in the business world. Advantages that I'm just realizing now. And they were all seated in my being gay when I was a kid. Dang, I love being gay!!!!! Tracker __________________ Tracker I'm on a journey to finding the real me. I don't know where I will end up, but the trip is sure fun!

20th Jan 2012, 08:02 PM	#6
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Severely depressed and don't know what to do I completely understand what you're going through as I have social anxiety disorder and depression and i'm an in-the-closet bisexual, however I seriously think you need to sit down with your parents and tell them what you are going through as this seems to have become a serious problem, you should seek out professional help (a school counselor maybe?) immediately. And like said before there are privacy laws and so by law they can not let anything you say leave that room. (besides anything to do with self harm, or hurting someone else) I do wish the best and wish you well, hope you get the help you need and get to feeling better just remember that there are people who love you dearly that you can always turn to in times like this if you are to scared to talk to your parents