Help asking for help? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 19th Jan 2012, 05:23 PM

For a while now, I've felt bad because I know how great everyone on this site is and I really want to share some things that have been eating at me, but for some reason I don't feel comfortable asking. It's like I don't think I deserve to ask for help or share little things that make me happy about being a lesbian...I'll feel guilty or ashamed or that I'm a burden. Even though I really want to, I can't because I feel like it'll come back to haunt me. Help?

Even just a word or two is fine; I really want to feel like I'm part of this wonderful community.

**Chip** · 19th Jan 2012, 06:14 PM

Soooo... i think you just have to put it out there. Tell us what's bugging you

dreamcatcher · 19th Jan 2012, 06:19 PM

Sit down, take a deep breath, and tell us your troubles dear!

Anonymous · 20th Jan 2012, 07:33 PM

OP

*sighs and hugs back*

I'll try...I'm a little nervous because I'm used to getting the impression that it's the same thing as writing a letter of what needs to be said but should never come to light, so you burn it.

It will really be okay...?

dreamcatcher · 20th Jan 2012, 08:49 PM

Sometimes burning the letter isn't enough. Life isn't so neat where you can just throw away your feelings and never look back. Sometimes we just need to express ourselves and be heard....

Which is why you should post whatever it is that is on your mind! Create a thread on the support and advice section or right here on the anonymous section if you don't want anyone knowing who it is. Also, depending on your member status, if you're a full member, you can private message any other fellow full member (like me

) or if you're a regular member, I think you can private message one of the advisors, like Chip and the other advisors listed somewhere here on E.C. Also, you can always write on the walls so just feel free to speak your mind. Some of my posts have been super long and people have always responded either with support or really good advice.

And yes, it will be ok. As it is commonly said, "the first step is always the hardest"

Anonymous · 20th Jan 2012, 11:03 PM

I know the feeling hun. It's hard to open up. To some people, (like you and me) it's even hard to open up to those who don't know us. But know this: we won't judge you. Your problems are valid and there is nothing shameful in having emotions. You need a release as we all do. We are here for you when you're ready. You are never a burden, ever.

I have felt awkward about posting using my username so I sometimes go on anonymous. And remember that this is a website where we are all supporting one another.

Hang in there and welcome to EC. You are loved on here.

19th Jan 2012, 05:23 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Help asking for help? For a while now, I've felt bad because I know how great everyone on this site is and I really want to share some things that have been eating at me, but for some reason I don't feel comfortable asking. It's like I don't think I deserve to ask for help or share little things that make me happy about being a lesbian...I'll feel guilty or ashamed or that I'm a burden. Even though I really want to, I can't because I feel like it'll come back to haunt me. Help? Even just a word or two is fine; I really want to feel like I'm part of this wonderful community.

19th Jan 2012, 06:14 PM	#2
Chip EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,544 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Help asking for help? Soooo... i think you just have to put it out there. Tell us what's bugging you

19th Jan 2012, 06:19 PM	#3
dreamcatcher EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: lesbian and still working on accepting it Out Status: A few people Location: Florida Age: 20 Posts: 297 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Help asking for help? Sit down, take a deep breath, and tell us your troubles dear!

20th Jan 2012, 07:33 PM	#4
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Help asking for help? OP sighs and hugs back I'll try...I'm a little nervous because I'm used to getting the impression that it's the same thing as writing a letter of what needs to be said but should never come to light, so you burn it. It will really be okay...?

20th Jan 2012, 08:49 PM	#5
dreamcatcher EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: lesbian and still working on accepting it Out Status: A few people Location: Florida Age: 20 Posts: 297 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Help asking for help? Sometimes burning the letter isn't enough. Life isn't so neat where you can just throw away your feelings and never look back. Sometimes we just need to express ourselves and be heard.... Which is why you should post whatever it is that is on your mind! Create a thread on the support and advice section or right here on the anonymous section if you don't want anyone knowing who it is. Also, depending on your member status, if you're a full member, you can private message any other fellow full member (like me ) or if you're a regular member, I think you can private message one of the advisors, like Chip and the other advisors listed somewhere here on E.C. Also, you can always write on the walls so just feel free to speak your mind. Some of my posts have been super long and people have always responded either with support or really good advice. And yes, it will be ok. As it is commonly said, "the first step is always the hardest"

20th Jan 2012, 11:03 PM	#6
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Help asking for help? I know the feeling hun. It's hard to open up. To some people, (like you and me) it's even hard to open up to those who don't know us. But know this: we won't judge you. Your problems are valid and there is nothing shameful in having emotions. You need a release as we all do. We are here for you when you're ready. You are never a burden, ever. I have felt awkward about posting using my username so I sometimes go on anonymous. And remember that this is a website where we are all supporting one another. Hang in there and welcome to EC. You are loved on here.