Older Women?

[Anonymous]

Ok this is pretty weird - I'm an openly gay man.. I never really noticed women when I was growing up.. always had my eyes on the guys more, but sometimes I will see an older woman and think she is quite special.. like a physical attraction..I don't know what it is.. its not a big attraction, but its there. Im in my twenties, and I'm talking women in their 40s..

[phospholipase]

Don't worry about it. It's like a cougar/sugar daddy-whatever-designation-you'd-want-to-use-as-a-label attraction. You didn't really ask for advice or anything, so this is all you get.

[Ridiculous]

I can relate, kind of. For me there isn't any physical attraction or romantic attraction towards them, though.

Society places an expectation on us to be heterosexual, even if it doesn't intend to. Simply because the majority of people are heterosexual and are in heterosexual relationships, we are exposed to them and can therefore easily imagine ourselves in a heterosexual relationship because we have many examples to follow.

I am attracted to males though, which trumps this expectation to be heterosexual.
However my attraction towards males gets weaker as they get older, until it pretty much ceases altogether in most cases when they are about 40-50 years old. Because of my age (20) I'm not actually attracted to anyone that is over 50 years old, instead preferring guys closer to me.

This means that when I imagine myself at 50 years old, my homosexuality isn't available to trump the societal expectation to be straight, as I'm not attracted to men that are that age or older. This leads to me viewing women as viable partners instead of men, because society expects that and I have no first-hand feelings to counter it. This doesn't mean I'm attracted to these women.

Basically I'm not attracted to women at all, but can imagine myself in a relationship with a woman when I get older because there are lots of heterosexual couples to take examples from. I can look at an older woman and say to myself that she'd be a good partner. I'm not concerned about this because I'm sure as I get older, the age of the men I'm attracted to will get older along with me.


Of course this is just the case for me; for you it may be completely different.

[Anonymous]

you can be gay and notice that a woman is attractive. your gay, it doesn't mean your blind.