Gay = No male friends?

[Anonymous]

I'm a gay male and I've come to the realization I've no male friends... my two closest friends are girls and apart from them I have 1 or 2 close male friends but they don't know I'm gay and I wouldn't consider telling them.

Perhaps its because I loathe soccer (popular in my country) and love musicals (not so popular among men)

Anyone in this situation? Am I fitting the stereotype?

How can I long to fall in love with a guy if I can't befriend a male in the first place?

[sanguine]

i dont fit that stereotype well i kind of do, i decided to tell my 2 close friends which happen to be guys that i was gay, fast forward to my last year in high school i told my best friends girlfriend i was gay, and she became my bet friend, im out to all my friends which are all guys the only exception being my best friends girl friend, well now their ex's because he doesnt understand that being gay is not a choice and thought i was stealing his girlfriend (douche bag)

so yea, all my friends are guys except my now best friend, i do everything the guys do which is play games talk about random crap and even girls

but hey who are people to judge by stereotypes, there are straight people out there who are in a similar situation as you

[nate16]

I feel the same. Ive befriended some other drama guys in my school, but they've either proven to only want to hook up, or have proven to be extremely shallow woth few morals. My friends mostly consist of girls and my twin sister. I hope college brings more. :/ i desperately want things to change.

[sexyalex]

Dear Anonymous,

Where do you live, Brazil?
hahaah!

Sorry, bad joke. I don't have many friends and the few that I have are also predominantly female. It's not so uncommon amongst gay men. Especially if you are a fem. bottom. It's just one of the things that come with the territory.

Though unlike you, all my male friends that I do have gay and straight ones, do know of my sexuality and that's because I have refused to hide my sexuality from people in my life.
I'm 20 focking years old and i'm tired of running and being bullied. So I just took the stand take me as I am or leave me be.

You will be shocked to know how many straight guys out there are tolerant with gay men just for the mere fact that they realise they NEED to be tolerant to get into their girlfriend's good graces.

Don't think much of it. It won't affect your social successions or upbringing. If anything, being true to yourself and embracing the blessings of friends (no matter the gender) will make you a stronger, better person.

Regards,
Alex

[AloneOutHere]

A lot of times other guys are not sure whether or not it's okay to be friends with gay guys. They just don't know the difference between friendship and something more...

[Gravity]

To the OP - I think, as you've pointed out, that it's your interests and what genders are likely to be into them in your country that has more to do with why you don't have many (hetero) male friends. Stereotypes, on their own, don't do this.

As for not making friends as an obstacle for dating - I don't really think that would happen. All you would want to do is find other men (whether gay or hetero) who like the same things you do. And, for that matter, not every relationship - not even every successful one - starts out as friends. So I wouldn't worry too much.

[Sunsetting]

i have tons of acquaintances, but i find it difficult to find friends. it's partially an insecurity thing for me though. as open as i might be here, it's really hard for me to open up to people. i am going to make at least the next few weeks a chance to take some personal risks... you never know, it might be a good year if you step out of your comfort zones too....???

[Anonymous]

You'll find that there are gay guys all over the spectrum on that. For example, I mostly have male friends, but I also know a straight guy that has mostly female friends. It's probably one of those nuture things - I was raised with brothers, while my straight friend had only sisters.

[Beertruck]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

You'll find that there are gay guys all over the spectrum on that. For example, I mostly have male friends, but I also know a straight guy that has mostly female friends. It's probably one of those nuture things - I was raised with brothers, while my straight friend had only sisters.

Was me.

[adam88]

I'm bi and all my friends (with few exceptions) are guys.

[Lexington]

I'm gay and the majority of my friends are guys. It's true that I'm a fan of a sport (even if it's not one of the popular ones), and I'm a fan of rock music - and I'd be lying if I said that didn't provide some area of common ground. But I have plenty of male friends who aren't a fan of my type of music OR the team I cheer for. I met them just chatting with people in everyday conversations, we found something we clicked over - a sense of humor, a way of looking at things, whatever - and away we went.

Lex

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I'm a gay male and I've come to the realization I've no male friends... my two closest friends are girls and apart from them I have 1 or 2 close male friends but they don't know I'm gay and I wouldn't consider telling them.

Perhaps its because I loathe soccer (popular in my country) and love musicals (not so popular among men)

Anyone in this situation? Am I fitting the stereotype?

How can I long to fall in love with a guy if I can't befriend a male in the first place?

If you love musicals and loathe soccer, and you're generally quite feminine, it's hardly surprising that you don't have many male friends as you're not going to be that similar to the typical guy. It could also be that guys can sometimes avoid gay guys if they're insecure of their masculinity / sexuality, so it can work both ways.

You can, of course, still fall in love with a guy. It's not the same as a platonic relationship.

Oh, and 99 times out of 100, if a guy's friends are almost all female, they love musicals and loathe soccer, then their guy friends will probably know that they're gay. Of course, I don't know you, but I'd be surprised if this weren't the case.

[Harve]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

If you love musicals and loathe soccer, and you're generally quite feminine, it's hardly surprising that you don't have many male friends as you're not going to be that similar to the typical guy. It could also be that guys can sometimes avoid gay guys if they're insecure of their masculinity / sexuality, so it can work both ways.

You can, of course, still fall in love with a guy. It's not the same as a platonic relationship.

Oh, and 99 times out of 100, if a guy's friends are almost all female, they love musicals and loathe soccer, then their guy friends will probably know that they're gay. Of course, I don't know you, but I'd be surprised if this weren't the case.

C'était moi.

[Revan]

I have male friends, but honestly up until last year, most of my male friends were more just acquaintances. I made one or two good friends who are men, but like many, most of my friends are girls.

[sanguine]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

You'll find that there are gay guys all over the spectrum on that. For example, I mostly have male friends, but I also know a straight guy that has mostly female friends. It's probably one of those nuture things - I was raised with brothers, while my straight friend had only sisters.

hmmm that makes sense, i have 2 older brothers, maybe that can explain why im competitive by nature and more aggressive then necessary at times, just always thought it was a guy thing to try to be dominant, especially in my group of friends also