Anal Preparation

[Anonymous]

So I know this forum has seen plenty of threads about anal, but I just want to clear up a few things.

My partner and I are ready to try anal. I just want to ensure that the experience feels good for the both of us, and more importantly, that there is no mess.

I've read about douching and such, but is it necessary to douche every time to ensure things stay clean?

What do you guys do, and does it work?

Thanks guys, I guess I'm just a little nervous.

[malachite]

lube, in my opinion you CAN'T use too much. Things will glide better.

Be gentle your first time, you're knocking down the gates of the castle.

Comminucate, if it hurts say something and try a new position.

And while on positions, the one I've found most comfotable is a doggie style, but that might not work you two.

and have fun!

[Anonymous]

i remember my first time trying it. it didnt really hurt cuz he was good about it, but, i oddly enough was overcome by an urge to go pee! it was really annoying. people think it makes u wanna poop but not me. i felt like i was gonna pee on myself! (unless he grabbed at me and started jerking me off at the same time.. then it felt freaking heavenly!)

[Ben]

Douching isn't really necessary as long as you're clean anyway. Use lots of lube, a condom and take it slow.

[Anonymous]

As Ben said douching isn't necessary if you are already clean. If you have a 'healthy' diet and lifestyle then the rectum (the cavity immediately above the anus where everything will be taking place) should be clear of any crap without you having to do anything.

However sometimes for whatever reason it won't be clean when you are ready to have sex. If you can't remove it just by taking a normal bowel motion, then you can resort to douching - the other options are to risk making a mess or just not have sex, neither of which are very good options. So don't just douche before sex out of habit, check first to see if it is actually necessary.


As for the actual act, preparation is key. Whoever is going to be the bottom should be prepped for a few minutes to relax their anus a bit; start with one finger, then two, then three to get it used to having wider things up there. Toys can also be used here. It only takes a little while, you can both do it together, and it makes things much easier.

[Ben]

I just thought I'd add this article, written by the late JayHew: Empty Closets - Anal Sex
There're some pretty fabulous resources in the resources section that are worth a read.

[JohnnyBoy]

I second what everyone else said...

My bf and I never douche or anything...we may go to the bathroom first just to make sure everything is out of there.

As far as positions and easing into it, three words. LUBE LUBE LUBE...three more words. SLOW SLOW SLOW. We're still both pretty new to it so we find the best way to start is have the 'top' actually be on bottom, laying flat on his back and whoever is bottoming ease into it at their speed. For me, it can take a good 2 or 3 minutes for me to actually be able to get it fully in. Once I get the first bit out of the way, I can normally start to move things a little quicker and switch positions.

Hope that helps!

[KaraBulut]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I've read about douching and such, but is it necessary to douche every time to ensure things stay clean?

You should try to have sex without using an enemas. Since "douche" is also a word for "shower", I wanted to make sure it was clear. Yes, you should shower but under normal conditions there's no need to use an enema.

Originally Posted by Anonymous

What do you guys do, and does it work?

If time allows, you should work on learning to relax when you're by yourself. The time to work on relaxation is not in the dark with a boyfriend with a hard-on who is eager to go.

You might want to start with a position that gives the person on the receiving end more control- like cowboy or reverse cowboy.

Keep in mind that you don't have to do everything all in one night. Set the expectation that if it's hurting, you're going to speak up and you'll stop. If it starts to hurt, then stop and do something else for a while. When you're ready, try again. If it's not working out, then don't continue to try. There will be other nights and it does get easier each time.

Originally Posted by JohnnyBoy

As far as positions and easing into it, three words. LUBE LUBE LUBE...three more words. SLOW SLOW SLOW.

...and CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS!

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Thanks guys, I guess I'm just a little nervous.

Understandable. It's a big step.