Stuck behind a mask

[Anonymous]

Basically, i can't keep myself from masking what i'm feeling in front of people.

Specifically, having been previously diagnosed with depression, i maintain a facade by means of jokes to keep my family away from the internal sadness. I try to avoid having people pay attention to me, so i try to get people to not worry/ignore me as much as possible. And thus, i pretend to be a-ok.

It also kind of sucks because i don't exactly know how i'm supposed to act anymore. Fake-me has been out for so long that Real-me has problems interacting with people, which just leads me to go back to the happy version of myself. Also sucky because i can never actually get out and say that my days sucked/i'm sad whatever. Never works out for me, i just end up saying "oh yeah today was good" and keep pretending TT

Anybody have some advice on how to stop doing this? :3

[Anonymous]

sorry i can't give you any advice. i've been that way for years and i don't know the answer
but you seem to need one of these

[NeecoVirus]

Sups Dudes . . . I actually felt exactly like how you guys felt before. Sad all the time, to the point where I considered ending my own life. I was so good at hiding my feelings that on the day I committed suicide (but, failed), my parents did not even know how sad I was that day. Nor did my friends notice either. I understand how it is easier to hide behind a joke, a laugh, or even a simple smile... I suppose that is how some people are, we don't like to share or broadcast our feelings to the world... What I found helped me was finding someone who would listen. You don't need many, you just need someone. Once you start talking to that person about how you really feel, it will become easier to open up to them.

If not, if you are going to college or University (in Canada) at least, there is coverage for wellness/mental health centers, or free counselling... (depending on what school you go to). What I am trying to say is, there are methods to open up and talk to a complete random stranger. I sometimes find it easy to talk to strangers because they don't judge... or even if they do judge, its okay because you don't see them everyday in your life. Having a mask is good, but make sure you don't suffocate yourself under it.

[Anonymous]

Most people have this problem...especially the majority of the male population. Someone once said to me that this is one of the main reason why Men don't live as long as their counterpart. If you're a woman, then you're in luck!

"oh yeah today was okay!"

It's easy to say and there are no strings attached. You don't have to worry about whether or not the person asking wants to hear your sap...It's how anxiety/insecurity destroy social skills.

I won't pretend. I'm still dealing with this problem. I noticed that whenever I try to open up to anyone, the result has hardly ever gone my way, but it's helped. Have you any access to counselors? Try them...most are very good listeners! I don't have much else to advise...

With that said, I'd like to say that you shouldn't worry about being real or fake. Whatever it is that you're doing, it's you that's doing it! You are always you...you're never fake as long as you are fully aware of who you are and the reasons that motivates you to do things!