my best friend calls me gay.. but im not out yet...

[Anonymous]

My best freind has been saying to me "dude! it's cuz you're gay" and normally i can shake it off with a fake chuckle.. but lately it has gotten more hurtful.. and i don't know what to do. I am not quite ready to come out.. i just want to try and make him realize that he shouldn't be saying things like that.. wihout being too obvious. anyhelp/advice would be nice

[lazyboy]

If he's your best friend, I don't see why you should feel uncomfortable asking him to stop. I mean, whether you're straight or gay, that kind of comment can be very annoying, especially when over-used.

It wouldn't seem unusual or out of place, I think, for someone to just ask him to just lay off with it.

[Anonymous]

well if he is saying: "dude it's cuz you're gay" it sounds like he is a bit immature to begin with. so here are a couple of options:

INDIRECT: 1. hey bro, you keep bringing up gay stuff. you know what they say, the person that keeps talking about it, is the person that has the issue with it. hahahah. is there something you wanna tell me bro? hahahah then laugh it off.

DIRECT: 2. "hey man, i know we play around but the ongoing joke about me being gay and we can let it go now."

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

well if he is saying: "dude it's cuz you're gay" it sounds like he is a bit immature to begin with. so here are a couple of options:

INDIRECT: 1. hey bro, you keep bringing up gay stuff. you know what they say, the person that keeps talking about it, is the person that has the issue with it. hahahah. is there something you wanna tell me bro? hahahah then laugh it off.

DIRECT: 2. "hey man, i know we play around but the ongoing joke about me being gay and we can let it go now."

meant to say:
DIRECT: 2. "hey man, i know we play around but you can put an end to the ongoing gay joke, its old and kinda annoying now bro."

if he is very immature he will likely say: "ok, i was just kidding around, i didnt know if offended you. you must be gay hahahah"

if he is mature, he will say: "oh my bad bro, didnt know it offended you"

[Anonymous]

When this happened to me while in the closet I would just sarcastically accept it by saying something like "you're right, I would sooo love a boyfriend", or "I am sooo in love with you" but really sarcastically. Not only did it throw them off but it made them think I was so secure with my heterosexuality that I didn't mind pretending to be gay!

[robclem21]

I used to do what the last poster does. I used to play along with it and it turned into a playful joke more than something I found insulting. If he is your best friend there shouldn't be an reason to think it would be awkward to go about any option regarding this. If you tell him to stop he should respect you, and if you play along, he may stop naturally or at the very least it may not bother you as much if you can laugh it off. I'm also not too sensitive about stuff like that. I am pretty comfortable with my sexuality and was even before I came out so things like that I tried not to let get to me. When friends start making jokes like that, especially friends who are that close to you, its usually cause they suspect something and trying to pressure you into giving something away. If your not ready, than don't let him do that. Hopefully it works out either way and he is understanding. Sounds like he should be.