Dating Advice

[Anonymous]

Hey there. So I just wanted some advice about dating because I've never really done it before and I don't want to mess up with this guy.

I met him the other night and got on really well with him. It was at an LGBT event and we exchanged numbers and such. We didn't make out or anything, we just talked and hung out.

Last night then was my friends birthday so we had a bit too much to drink and we went out to a (straight) club, and he was there. By this stage we'd agreed we were going to meet up tomorrow. I was quite drunk, or at least drunker than he was and we started to kiss. I've never kissed someone before like that, in a way that leaves me wanting more when it stops. Nothing sexual, although I was turned on just being with him. Just to kiss.

I had a friend staying with me, so I left to go and get him to put him to sleep on my floor. I dunno, I feel a bit embarrassed for being so drunk, and annoyed because I didn't want to be so drunk when I kissed him for the first time. (I was so drunk because my friend's friends from home kept on buying me drinks). I really don't want to ruin anything with this guy.

So we're meeting up tomorrow, but haven't actually planned anything yet. I'm excited but also really nervous at the same time in case he finds that he doesn't really like me that much. I know it's a petty thing to be nervous about, but I can't help it. I'm also worried about coming across as being overly keen. I also hope my being drunk last night didn't mess things up. He also asked me if I was worried we were too similar, but I don't think that's a problem (yes my friends did say we kinda of look a bit similar, and seemingly his friends think we're quite alike as well). I don't see why it would be a problem though. He's the first guy I've ever really liked like this.

Aaaah. Has anyone got any advice for tomorrow?

[robclem21]

Just be yourself. He already agreed to go out with you and you even got a kiss already (drunk or not that isn't a bad sign). You have had conversations before and it seems like they went fairly effortlessly on your part. If you don't try to force it and let it just flow naturally and have fun everything will go fine! Good Luck!!!

[Sunsetting]

i'll tell you a few things. first, you such a great guy and he is fortunate to even have you in his life. second, this is as much for you to get to know him as it is for him to get to know you. remember that this is an opportunity for you two to see what your likes and dislikes are and IF they are similar, you'll WANT to spend more time with him. if they're not, you won't want to anyway. and that's ok, for every million people, there are a million different likes and dislikes. you are really terrific just by being open and genuine about what's going on here. and based on the sounds of who you are, there will be many more people interested in you, so look at this as a developing friendship where you tell your excited feelings, "it's ok to be excited, but i am simply going to let him know me and i am getting to know him", that's all. i hope it's great man, really i do. what are some things you like to do? movie, sports, food, shopping??? you can also suggest things that are of interest to you to find out more about him too....but in a place where you're a little comfortable. good on you man. i think it's going to be a great time to get to know each other. afterwards let us know how it went

[Anonymous]

my advice is to relax, be yourself, and just have a good time. i find that when i am overly nervous and over excited about someone, that it's hard to be myself because i start to analyze everything in the hopes that i will "do everything right" and they will like me. well the main thing to realize is, they liked you enough at first and you were just being yourself, so don't mess with the formula. it's not about them liking you. its about if you like them. dates are "two -way" meaning that its a chance for you to see if this person is compatible with you as well. also, dates are just dates. there's no committment. you could never see the person again, or you can become the best relationship you ever had. dont worrry about what happens next just enjoy the moment. that way no matter what the ooutcomes is, you had a great time.

[Anonymous]

Hey guys, thanks for all your supportive messages above. Really appreciated, and it helped to read through them a lot.

So I literally just got back about an hour ago. We had a really nice lunch and chatted for like 2 hours straight without any awkwardness at all. Then we went for a walk, and went to his room at his college where we chatted a bit more. Then, out of the blue, he said we had to have a bit of an awkward conversation, and that he wanted to be honest about it. Basically, he really liked some guy in his college, who's in a relationship already, and the guy used to like him before he got in a relationship. So he still liked him at the start of this term. Then when he met me he thought that he could move on and that he liked me. Then he told me that last night he was talking to the guy who said he didn't like him that way, but that he was drunk enough that he'd still try and get with him. So this guy told me he tried (but failed) to get with this guy he likes. So he said he thought he liked the other guy more now, but after today he's not really sure.

So I'm not really sure how to react. I'm disappointed yes, but I'm trying to be sensible about it. We agreed to keep on hanging out and see how everything goes, which I think is going to be hard because I do actually like him (but my friend told me to be careful that I'm not just thinking I like him) but I think that even if it doesn't work out then at least I might get a good friend out of it?

We chatted for a bit more then I headed on back to my room. I'm not really sure how to feel at the moment to be honest. As in, I'm not sure if I'm just disappointed or if I am actually a bit hurt but just burying it deep down which is what I'm doing sometimes because as my friend pointed out he did lead me on a little bit by making out with me in the club on Friday. I am willing to wait and try and see how things go because I think he's a really lovely guy and I don't to be silly and lose even the potential of a good friend simply because he can't help liking someone else. It's just a bit hard.

Has anyone got any thoughts?