Can parents pass on depression?

[Anonymous]

My mom has had clinical depression for years, and I grew up with her crying, fighting with my father over cheating and domestic violence (although this happened even earlier than I was born)...etc. She's also pretty isolated individual- not very social or active.
I wonder if all of her traits have had any influence on me. I also have depression. I had two times where I felt so low that I actually drank excessive amount of drug and alcohol so I could feel something. I have had suicidal thoughts. I'm extremely insecure about my self-image. I'm uptight and not fun to hang out with- in fact I have such poor social skills that I haven't had real close friends in almost 7 years. I'm in college but I have yet to have any friends, I never go out, I usually just hang in the house by myself or with my mom. I also believe I have anxiety disorder, and I have issues trusting people.
Can this be because of my mom, in a way? I'm not trying to blame her for my problems, but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm this way because of her.

[Sunsetting]

there is a higher tendency for children of parents who have depression issues to have the same, however there is no guarantee. deal with stress properly, diet, start to develop healthy relationships (i am TERRIBLE at this so i can't believe i said the last one lol), keep communicating (like here and a counselor) and it can lessen and help you to deal with it. my family has a whole bunch of crap in it... but i have to work through it to let these lemons be made into lemonade.

and by the way thank you so much for sharing this, as difficult as it is, i understand and stand with you

[Anonymous]

Go see a psychiatrist AND a counselor.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who works with mental conditions. Some types of depression are biological and it would make sense that you might have inherited this from your mom--you have half of her genes anyway. If you can take some medication to get yourself back in balance, DO IT! There's nothing wrong with you morally because of that. Don't feel any shame in getting help.

Also, culturally, we are raised and influenced by the people around us. We deal with stress and rough times in the way that we have seen them dealt with from when we were kids. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. But, it is important to learn other ways to deal with stress and anxiety. A counselor or therapist can help with that--he or she can teach you ways to lighten your load mentally.

I have problems with depression and anxiety. I am seeing both and they are working together on me. And I am healing and should finally beat this problem within the next year or two. You can manage it, too.

Good luck and a hug!

Tracker

[toremi]

Okay I am posting this and I am posting my name to it because I feel SO strongly about this issue -- super, super, extra strong. I don't care who disagrees or what they have to say because I have lived it.

First off, I don't think at all these types of things are biological, I think they are entirely environmental. My mother suffers from the exact same things only maybe heightened but she developed them later in life and I now understand where they came from but they are generally not biological -- they usually come from specific events in life that trigger this type of thing.

Next.

Just for purposes of stating my point and that I have lived it; when I was 6 my mother had a mental break-down and went away for approximately 3 months to get help from psychiatrists. She was doing better but she left early to come home to be with her family which was the worst decision she could have done because she only ended up causing herself more issues and us as well.

My mother is a hypochondriac, but will never admit it. Funny things about hypochondriacs is they will believe they have ever disease/issue in the book except being a hypochondriac.... which is kinda funny when you think about it. She also suffers from anxiety disorder.

Well guess who developed the same shit.

If you are around a person like that all the time, especially someone who is close to you and is a guardian to you it weighs on you heavily! Does she always come to you with her problems? Does she focus on all the negative in life and refuse to look for hope, instead staying in home wallowing in what her life has become. Do you now feel the same way at times?

Like people said above -- see a counselor and a psychiatrist. I had to go see one when I was seventeen because I was ending up in emerg every other night thinking I was dying because my anxiety had gotten so bad. Also I would serious recommend shying away from any drugs they give you for anxiety disorder... if it comes up. They can cause WAY more damage than do any good. From personal experience I also watched this happen to my mother. One drug causes one side effect which in turn causes you to need one more drug, which will cause another side effect. Then they will want to weed you off of one drug so they will give you another in it's place... so on so forth.

Psychiatrists and Psychologists are AMAZING at helping you understand your body and exactly what anxiety or panic disorder is. I am assuming they are just as great at helping with depression but I can't be completely certain. If you can definitely go the route of speaking to people before medication... if that doesn't work than by all means do what is necessary.

And my last piece of advice is the hardest to give. I have strong opinions about everything else but this last piece although I have a strong mindset about it, it literally kills me to type it. It would be best to distance yourself from your mother and her behaviors. I don't mean you run away and never speak to her again... thats far from what I am saying. But don't put yourself in that environment where you are sitting with her in the doom and gloom. I love my mother more than life itself but she refuses to get better and unknowingly drags me into it with her and down.

At some point you need to watch your back. Love her, help her, but don't allow her to pull you into it. It's a dark, dark world. If there is anything that confuses you, offends you, intrigues you, you have questions about... whatever... write on my wall and I will be glad to get back to you. I honestly believe you can turn yourself around! I did it and without the help of medication. I have faith and I am here for whatever you need!

Cheers!

[Anonymous]

This is the original poster.
I want to thank all of you for actually reading my post and giving me amazing responses.
It feels so much better to see that other people went through what I went through (and am going through), and that people do care about other people's mental well being.

I am horrible at forming good relationships with people. I used to be able to let people in, but at some point of time I just stopped doing that. It's like, initially I can be friendly and all, but then I hit this invisible wall where the relationship ceases to progress. And then I just end up alienating those people, and end up alone.

I am seeing a counselor, but honestly I found the counseling sessions to be ineffective. I could rant on about my issues to the counselor, but it seemed like all she offered me were things I already know like "putting myself out there" or "having high self esteem". Well, if I knew a concrete way of being that way, I wouldn't be in this position. Anyways, I stopped meeting her for a month, but I actually emailed her yesterday because I wanted to give another try at the counseling.

As for the psychiatrist, I'm paranoid about taking drugs. My mother has been taking anti-depressants and stabilizers for more than 6 years now, and yet she still suffers depression, mood swings, insomnia..etc. I'm just afraid that my brain chemistry is going to be screwed up and end up taking drugs for the rest of my life, like my mother.

Also Toremi: my mother seems to not want me to have fun with people or hang out. Like literally just today, I had my first retreat with this mental health club that I joined. I actually had the most fun in almost 2 years. But then my mother picked me up to go back home at like 7PM and then she flips out and literally says that she doesn't want me to hang out like that. It's just entirely crazy. She doesn't want me to be happy. She just doesn't understand. The problem is, I do not know how to draw a boundary with my mom. Every time I try to draw the line, she acts like she's being victimized, and that just causes so much more friction and tension and negative energy between us.

But thank you all for your support. Can't say enough how much I appreciate your inputs. Thanks.