No more porn

[Anonymous]

So questioning/confused here. I thought porn would be good in helping me figure out my attractions, types, etc. I got aroused the first one or two times I looked at gay porn. Since, I feel little or nothing.

I am thinking of a little experiment. Giving up porn - straight and gay - for a bit. See where the mind wanders. Try and fantasize for arousal rather than look at something. This is a bit of a challenge for me, as I've never actually really just allowed myself to kick back and fantasize. It's always been a bit mechanical for me - through on a video, check out, relax. Anyway, file this under TMI unnecessary post, but I wonder if anyone else has tried this?

[Anonymous]

Yeah I've done that and it helped. Whenever I tried to fantasize about women it would always turn back to men so eventually I knew. This method is better than the porn method for some people because actually most porn isn't that great.
Don't worry, give yourself enough time and you'll find the answer.

[Sunsetting]

give yourself time... i agree. don't even push the fantasy stuff, just let what happens happen with you in your private and public life. just keep being a great you and things will evolve naturally

[Chip]

Sunsetting gives great advice here.

The key is simply letting your fantasies come naturally. Don't create anything, don't consciously try to think of anything, just let the thoughts come into your mind, and -- after the fact, not during -- just observe and evaluate them.

Porn does work for most people, but some are totally turned off by the (usually) mechanical, artificial nature of it, or because it doesn't match what they find arousing.

And the other piece is... there's no rush to make a determination. So if you can learn to just let yourself be with not knowing fully... then the answer will come when you're ready for it.