Confidence and transgenderism - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 29th Jan 2012, 04:05 PM

I've noticed I only feel confident and attractive when I present myself as feminine or if I look slightly feminine. If I look "manish" or hairy or such, I feel very ugly and unattractive, and I don't really flirt with anyone or anything. I wish more than anything that I could dress slightly feminine and have a girl's haircut, because it would make me feel much more attractive than I am now, but of course, anything remotely androgynous wouldn't fly with anyone I knew at all.

The main reason I ask this is because, I always figured that feeling attractive came from the compliments and attention you received from people. But I received some compliments for having traditionally "manly" features and I didn't seem to be affected by them at all, I still felt ugly and unwanted. When I see or present myself thinner, or with less hairy skin, it genuinely does make me feel attractive. I don't really seem to care what anyone thinks of me when I flirt because I just don't "feel" ugly. Another curious bit is that I'm bisexual, and I even feel more confident with flirting with women as well, despite the fact that straight women overwhelmingly wouldn't want a man who was a bit androgynous or gender-queer.

I don't have the traditional hatred for my male bits like transsexuals do though, but I still feel silly for feeling like this. Picturing myself as what most men want to be, the big & strong bodybuilder type, just makes me upset, and I just feel ridiculous because of that, like I'm wanting to be something I'm not, or that I'm betraying my birth sex. Does this still mean I could be transgender?

29th Jan 2012, 04:05 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,191 Join Date: Dec 2007	Confidence and transgenderism I've noticed I only feel confident and attractive when I present myself as feminine or if I look slightly feminine. If I look "manish" or hairy or such, I feel very ugly and unattractive, and I don't really flirt with anyone or anything. I wish more than anything that I could dress slightly feminine and have a girl's haircut, because it would make me feel much more attractive than I am now, but of course, anything remotely androgynous wouldn't fly with anyone I knew at all. The main reason I ask this is because, I always figured that feeling attractive came from the compliments and attention you received from people. But I received some compliments for having traditionally "manly" features and I didn't seem to be affected by them at all, I still felt ugly and unwanted. When I see or present myself thinner, or with less hairy skin, it genuinely does make me feel attractive. I don't really seem to care what anyone thinks of me when I flirt because I just don't "feel" ugly. Another curious bit is that I'm bisexual, and I even feel more confident with flirting with women as well, despite the fact that straight women overwhelmingly wouldn't want a man who was a bit androgynous or gender-queer. I don't have the traditional hatred for my male bits like transsexuals do though, but I still feel silly for feeling like this. Picturing myself as what most men want to be, the big & strong bodybuilder type, just makes me upset, and I just feel ridiculous because of that, like I'm wanting to be something I'm not, or that I'm betraying my birth sex. Does this still mean I could be transgender?