Anti Depressants (long)

[Anonymous]

I am (yet again) considering going on anti depressants. I am going to phone my counsellor for a session today and when I see him in a week or so I need to decide whether to ask to get back on them.

At the moment I'm in my mid twenties and unemployed.. I did not have a job or a social life really last year - it was a very hard time. I have an addictive personality and I have also been battling with this. At the moment I am really dedicated on getting my life together. I have been out for 2 years now and I am finally accepting it as part of myself.

I am totally sober and feel an inner urge to tackle life head on right now - I am having all kinds of inspirations and motivations - it feels like a quarter life crisis! It is nice to be out of the deep blues, but the struggles I have had over the last few years are still dormant.. they keep me awake at night. I won't go into details, but I have had a lot of trauma in my life dealing with grief, family problems and general loss of my self. I also have suicidal thoughts - sometimes confronting my own mortality is the only way for me to see through the rubbish and anxieties within my life.

I have tried anti depressants 3 times - of those times, I stuck for longer than a few months (as perscribed). The only one that really worked was zoloft when I was much younger in highschool.. it seemed to be effective for me. I hear so many stories about the pills though, and I, myself have denounced them to people in the past. I stopped taking them each time cold turkey and had symptoms which lasted up to 6 months .

On the other side of this - I'm at a point in my life where Im accepting all different parts - and one of those parts is that I am and have for a very long time dealt with depression. A lot of my previous behaviour when ceasing taking the pills was that I had other issues, I was using drugs and alcohol and I figured if I was going to lead that lifestyle, I may as well toss them. But now I'm older and wiser, I want to leave the past behaviour behind and start developing more savoury habbits. I am really longing for a turn-around in my life right now.

So people out there who have taken/are on anti depressants - whats your opinion for me - Am I in the right mindset to give them another shot?

[Lexington]

I was pretty much in a similar position at your age. I stumbled into a depression where I was a bit overly obsessed with "the future". I kept worrying about "what will I do" and "what about my career" and all that. Life felt hopeless, and I felt a heavy amount of what I termed "despair". It got to the point where I couldn't even enjoy simple pleasures - I recall getting angry that I was at a concert featuring one of my favorite bands, and all I could think about was "What will I do with my life?"

As it turns out, I worked my way through that depression without anti-depressants. It wasn't me being "anti-anti-depressant" (if that makes any sense) but I was really poor, and I felt like I could try to drag myself out as cheaply as I could. I saw a counselor twice to work on "coping skills", and then just soldiered through it. It took a few months, but I eventually emerged on the other end of it. I did have a few months of "after-effects", though - a bit like how you have trouble shaking off the last of a cold.

I fell into another depression a few years ago. This time, with a steadier job and more income, I decided to go the anti-depressant route. I discussed various options with my doctor, and she suggested starting with a milder one. She warned me that it would probably take a few weeks to take effect, and in fact things got worse before they got better. But I had a weird "breakthrough" moment (in Home Depot, of all places) where suddenly things started clicking. Starting then, my "normal" times got more and more common, and the depressive ones less and less (and less severe). I was on the pills for a few months, then weaned myself off with no trouble.

Are you in a good spot to try again? Certainly physically you are. I guess it'd depend on how depressed you might be feeling. You might have your doctor administer a standard depression survey to you. Answer the questions as honestly as you can, and see if your doctor thinks a mild (or less mild) anti-depressant might be the way to go.

Lex

[Anonymous]

Thanks Lex,

Haha - home depot - things like that happen to me too.. kind of like an epiphany moment.. I've had them in the shower even.

Well, I'm going to take your advice and at least think it through for another week. I am going to tell my counsellor (who is also my doctor) that if I can see him each week for the next few that it would really help me. I'll tell him I am considering anti depressants and mull it over for a bit longer.

You hit the nail on the head - it is very much so a 'What the hell do I do with my life' dilemma. Am I in a good spot? I think I am, but with me it can be up one day, down the next - I at least usually have 2 hellish days a week. But as I said, I'll mull it over and maybe (hopefully) things might get better themselves - Cheers to that idea!