in love with a transguy - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 31st Jan 2012, 04:50 PM

i feel like im a 'bad lesbian'
i dont usually throw around my sexuality in every day life, those who want to know ill willingly tell, but otherwise i keep myself to myself.

but.
long story short.
i was in a relationship with a girl for a year-ish, she (then) came out to me as being trans, i totally supported it. he however wanted rid of me a.s.a.p like just dumped me like i was nothing. we didnt speak much, on and off. argued on and off for months. then i cut all contact, but he still tryed to contact me every now and then. we spoke a few onths back after not speaking for a year and its so hard. i still love him.
even when we broke up he told me 'breaking your heart wasnt anything bad'.
but yet i still love him.

i feel like a bad lesbian because yes i am attracted to women im still attracted to him, who he is as a person. i fell in love with who he was, i couldnt care less if he grew other body parts i still would of wanted to be with him.

its been 2 years and im still so in love with him.

i just needed it off my chest.

seeksanctuary · 31st Jan 2012, 07:06 PM

It doesn't make you a bad lesbian...

But I will say this. Some trans guys are assholes, just as some cisgendered guys are assholes, and just as some cisgendered and trans women are assholes. And this guy sounds like an asshole. Maybe he was just freaked out by everything and got overwhelmed, but seriously? He could have had a lot more civility. I think it'd be best to cut ties and move on.

**TheEdend** · 1st Feb 2012, 12:59 PM

Like the person above said, you are not a "bad" lesbian. Actually, there is no such thing as a bad lesbian. You don't have to follow certain rules or do certain things to be a good lesbian. Just be you and be happy for it. You love him and no one else has to understand it, but you. If other people have a hard time getting it then its too damn bad for them

As for your ex, he does seem rather asshole-ish. If you want to move on then its time to let him know how you feel, without letting him interrupt you or try to convince you of anything, and cut ties with him.

It has to be a tough situation, but you can do it. Best of luck

31st Jan 2012, 04:50 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,192 Join Date: Dec 2007	in love with a transguy i feel like im a 'bad lesbian' i dont usually throw around my sexuality in every day life, those who want to know ill willingly tell, but otherwise i keep myself to myself. but. long story short. i was in a relationship with a girl for a year-ish, she (then) came out to me as being trans, i totally supported it. he however wanted rid of me a.s.a.p like just dumped me like i was nothing. we didnt speak much, on and off. argued on and off for months. then i cut all contact, but he still tryed to contact me every now and then. we spoke a few onths back after not speaking for a year and its so hard. i still love him. even when we broke up he told me 'breaking your heart wasnt anything bad'. but yet i still love him. i feel like a bad lesbian because yes i am attracted to women im still attracted to him, who he is as a person. i fell in love with who he was, i couldnt care less if he grew other body parts i still would of wanted to be with him. its been 2 years and im still so in love with him. i just needed it off my chest.

31st Jan 2012, 07:06 PM	#2
seeksanctuary Weary Traveller Full Member Gender: Transgender - FtM Orientation: Gay Out Status: Pretty much everyone that matters. Location: USA Age: 24 Posts: 402 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: in love with a transguy It doesn't make you a bad lesbian... But I will say this. Some trans guys are assholes, just as some cisgendered guys are assholes, and just as some cisgendered and trans women are assholes. And this guy sounds like an asshole. Maybe he was just freaked out by everything and got overwhelmed, but seriously? He could have had a lot more civility. I think it'd be best to cut ties and move on. __________________ but there's no sense crying over every mistake you just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake...

1st Feb 2012, 12:59 PM	#3
TheEdend Hope will never be silent EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Extended family still doesn't know Location: Orlando, Florida Age: 21 Posts: 2,822 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: in love with a transguy Like the person above said, you are not a "bad" lesbian. Actually, there is no such thing as a bad lesbian. You don't have to follow certain rules or do certain things to be a good lesbian. Just be you and be happy for it. You love him and no one else has to understand it, but you. If other people have a hard time getting it then its too damn bad for them As for your ex, he does seem rather asshole-ish. If you want to move on then its time to let him know how you feel, without letting him interrupt you or try to convince you of anything, and cut ties with him. It has to be a tough situation, but you can do it. Best of luck __________________ “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” -Gandhi

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