Gay Sex - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 31st Jan 2012, 06:26 PM

I've never had sex with a man before. How do you know if you're a bottom or a top? Do most men try both and see where they feel more comfortable? I've seen some guys here say they had a desire to be penetrated. Is that typical for people who are bottoms? I don't know what I would be.

Also, how do tops and bottoms find each other and pair off?

Anonymous · 31st Jan 2012, 06:34 PM

Well I haven't had sex either but for the most part I think people experiment to find the answer. I see myself being more of a bottom but I know I will still experiment to know for sure. Don't feel the need to label yourself, just go in with an open mind and take if from there.
-And remember, be safe.

Gleeko0 · 31st Jan 2012, 06:56 PM

You don't have to label yourself. Just do what you feel comfortable with, or what the moment leads you to do if you both are comfortable with it...

Then you'll figure out what you like the most.

And yeah be safe : ) !

Anonymous · 31st Jan 2012, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I've never had sex with a man before. How do you know if you're a bottom or a top? Do most men try both and see where they feel more comfortable? I've seen some guys here say they had a desire to be penetrated. Is that typical for people who are bottoms? I don't know what I would be.

Also, how do tops and bottoms find each other and pair off?

gay man here. for me, ive always been a very anal-center person. even since middle school, ive played with my anus. if you're curious, start inserting fingers and generally rubbing around that area. you can combine this with masturbation if so desired. if it feels good, go with it.

as for your last question, you simply ask. i consider myself versatile. i like to switch it up. being the bottom is an almost quasi-religious experience for me, it just feels so right. as men, we're taught to be assertive and to totally flip that equation over is mind blowing.

seeksanctuary · 31st Jan 2012, 07:22 PM

People aren't machines. :] The bits aren't color-coded.

My point being, you don't have to pair up a top and a bottom, and not everyone is strictly a top or a bottom. Some people are, sure, but most gay men are willing to be flexible for the right man. Sometimes you get two tops together, or two bottoms, and they switch off... sometimes you get tops who want to bottom sometimes, and bottoms who want to top sometimes...

You don't have to limit yourself to one position for the rest of your life. Experiment. See what you like and dislike. Have fun with it!

**Lexington** · 1st Feb 2012, 09:36 AM

You meet a guy, you hit it off, you go to bed with him, you try stuff out, and you decide you prefer X and Y, but aren't a fan of W and Z. That's pretty much it.

Lex

**KaraBulut** · 1st Feb 2012, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

How do you know if you're a bottom or a top?

When it comes to sex and the choice is "A" or "B", always chose "C. All of the above".

**Lexington** · 1st Feb 2012, 04:15 PM

C actually stands for "let's see".

Lex

Anonymous · 1st Feb 2012, 05:48 PM

I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy both. Looking forward to some good prostate stimulation and to return the favor to a guy someday. I'd also be perfectly happy with a good frot session or mutual jerking off.

Guys having sex is not always and for some is never having anal sex. That's a myth gay guys only have anal sex. It's what the haters always point to and say being gay is so gross because of it. We should always point out to those morons that straight people enjoy anal sex and very few lesbians do so it's really not "gay sex."

...and be safe

JohnnyBoy · 1st Feb 2012, 06:21 PM

I had never bottomed before being with my current boyfriend. I had tried but could not ever get the tip in before I freaked out, plus I'm a more dominate male. Before my boyfriend and I had tried anal, we would just do oral and other foreplay and then one time I just casually asked him, lol. I told him I was a top and he said he didn't want to be totally a bottom. Since I was really into him at the time I decided I would try and bottom. I love it now. We go back and forth pretty much every time and it just takes some getting used to I guess.

31st Jan 2012, 06:26 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,192 Join Date: Dec 2007	Gay Sex I've never had sex with a man before. How do you know if you're a bottom or a top? Do most men try both and see where they feel more comfortable? I've seen some guys here say they had a desire to be penetrated. Is that typical for people who are bottoms? I don't know what I would be. Also, how do tops and bottoms find each other and pair off?

31st Jan 2012, 06:34 PM	#2
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,192 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Gay Sex Well I haven't had sex either but for the most part I think people experiment to find the answer. I see myself being more of a bottom but I know I will still experiment to know for sure. Don't feel the need to label yourself, just go in with an open mind and take if from there. -And remember, be safe.

31st Jan 2012, 06:56 PM	#3
Gleeko0 Chocolate Lover Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Straight as a rainbow!!! Out Status: Not hidding it. And out to family. Location: Brazil Age: 16 Posts: 173 Join Date: May 2011	Re: Gay Sex You don't have to label yourself. Just do what you feel comfortable with, or what the moment leads you to do if you both are comfortable with it... Then you'll figure out what you like the most. And yeah be safe : ) ! __________________ "We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it Love"

31st Jan 2012, 07:22 PM	#5
seeksanctuary Weary Traveller Full Member Gender: Transgender - FtM Orientation: Gay Out Status: Pretty much everyone that matters. Location: USA Age: 24 Posts: 402 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Gay Sex People aren't machines. :] The bits aren't color-coded. My point being, you don't have to pair up a top and a bottom, and not everyone is strictly a top or a bottom. Some people are, sure, but most gay men are willing to be flexible for the right man. Sometimes you get two tops together, or two bottoms, and they switch off... sometimes you get tops who want to bottom sometimes, and bottoms who want to top sometimes... You don't have to limit yourself to one position for the rest of your life. Experiment. See what you like and dislike. Have fun with it! __________________ but there's no sense crying over every mistake you just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake...

1st Feb 2012, 09:36 AM	#6
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,361 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Gay Sex You meet a guy, you hit it off, you go to bed with him, you try stuff out, and you decide you prefer X and Y, but aren't a fan of W and Z. That's pretty much it. Lex

1st Feb 2012, 04:15 PM	#8
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,361 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Gay Sex C actually stands for "let's see". Lex

1st Feb 2012, 05:48 PM	#9
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,192 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Gay Sex I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy both. Looking forward to some good prostate stimulation and to return the favor to a guy someday. I'd also be perfectly happy with a good frot session or mutual jerking off. Guys having sex is not always and for some is never having anal sex. That's a myth gay guys only have anal sex. It's what the haters always point to and say being gay is so gross because of it. We should always point out to those morons that straight people enjoy anal sex and very few lesbians do so it's really not "gay sex." ...and be safe

1st Feb 2012, 06:21 PM	#10
JohnnyBoy I like tuhtles Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: St Louis Age: 22 Posts: 165 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Gay Sex I had never bottomed before being with my current boyfriend. I had tried but could not ever get the tip in before I freaked out, plus I'm a more dominate male. Before my boyfriend and I had tried anal, we would just do oral and other foreplay and then one time I just casually asked him, lol. I told him I was a top and he said he didn't want to be totally a bottom. Since I was really into him at the time I decided I would try and bottom. I love it now. We go back and forth pretty much every time and it just takes some getting used to I guess.