Not able to feel....isolating myself..

[Anonymous]

I feel numb. I hung out with friends today and I didn't feel anything. I laughed but the laughter didn't reach my soul. I don't want to go to school anymore and I don't want to hang out with friends. I simply want to stay in my room and lay there. I want to read books and just be alone.

I have started doing badly in school because I simply don't care. I don't feel happiness. I liked a girl a while back but now I can't feel anything. I want to curl into a ball and forget about living. I am not happy and I am not depressed. I'm becoming a recluse in my own rite.

The worst part about feeling numb is the desire to cut myself so that I will feel something. I want to cut my skin and feel pain. I want to do it right now. What can I do to feel? I am lost and I "feel" bad for not caring about anything anymore. I want to be a good friend but I can't feel the fun we used to have.

[Lexington]

What you're feeling is a form of depression, actually. Not necessarily one where you feel sad all the time, but you feel disconnected and unable to feel anything positive (or negative). See if you can get proactive about it, without going down the cutting route. The first step is probably a trip to the doctor to rule out anything physical.

Lex

[Anonymous]

Hey, I'm sorry you're feeling/not feeling this way, I'm not sure what it is. I was thinking of this and if you're numb, you can't even feel numb. Don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of your situation, actually I am similar. The part I can't relate to at all is the idea to cut myself to "feel" something. Why do you need to feel something if it has to be pain? Who says you have to be feeling something all the time? Don't buy into the popular idea that we should all be fun exciting people surrounded by friends out doing crazy fun stuff 24/7. That's a lie; no one is that fun and happy all the time. I think what Lex said is right, please seek counseling. Not wanting to do anything, fake smiles/laughing, playing a role in front of others and curling into a ball when on your own sounds like depression to me too. Talk to someone, do something, get help, please.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Lexington

What you're feeling is a form of depression, actually. Not necessarily one where you feel sad all the time, but you feel disconnected and unable to feel anything positive (or negative). See if you can get proactive about it, without going down the cutting route. The first step is probably a trip to the doctor to rule out anything physical.

Lex

Thanks.. I am afraid that I'm going to lose some friends. I have been saying no to hanging out with them lately. I am also afraid that I am going to miss out on a relationship because I feel this way. It seems dumb that I feel this way because I have nothing to be upset about.

[Sunsetting]

wow, in a lot of ways you are me and i need to follow your thread

[Anonymous]

This is the OP again. Sunsetting I"m sorry you've felt this way.

I'm kind of freaked out because I didn't feel anything when a girl was holding my hand like, what if I have lost the ability to have feelings for other girls? I don't want to be asexual or whatever. Idk...I just feel like I said before....I am not feeling anything. I don't want to hurt the girl's feelings but I don't have any emotions. Sunsetting, I noticed your status was "apathetic". That's how I am with life right now.

I hate this state of mind. I did cut myself last night but tonight I am trying to refrain.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Hey, I'm sorry you're feeling/not feeling this way, I'm not sure what it is. I was thinking of this and if you're numb, you can't even feel numb. Don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of your situation, actually I am similar. The part I can't relate to at all is the idea to cut myself to "feel" something. Why do you need to feel something if it has to be pain? Who says you have to be feeling something all the time? Don't buy into the popular idea that we should all be fun exciting people surrounded by friends out doing crazy fun stuff 24/7. That's a lie; no one is that fun and happy all the time. I think what Lex said is right, please seek counseling. Not wanting to do anything, fake smiles/laughing, playing a role in front of others and curling into a ball when on your own sounds like depression to me too. Talk to someone, do something, get help, please.

Cutting is my way of feeling better. I can't really explain it. Thanks for your response. I am going to talk to a counselor I think...

[Sunsetting]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

This is the OP again. Sunsetting I"m sorry you've felt this way.

I'm kind of freaked out because I didn't feel anything when a girl was holding my hand like, what if I have lost the ability to have feelings for other girls? I don't want to be asexual or whatever. Idk...I just feel like I said before....I am not feeling anything. I don't want to hurt the girl's feelings but I don't have any emotions. Sunsetting, I noticed your status was "apathetic". That's how I am with life right now.

I hate this state of mind. I did cut myself last night but tonight I am trying to refrain.

i'm sorry you cut the other night and hope you can take the opportunity to talk with someone. i can't stand to think of how valuable you are. things will change for you, so hang in there. its step by step...i just sent in a request to talk with a counselor