What scares me to death

[Anonymous]

I have already accepted to myselfs that Im gay, and Ive even come out to very close friends (very few actually). What really scares me is that I might think Im gay but Im really not. I mean I like guys, I want to be with a guy, if I want to look at something hot I look at shirtless guys, or in guys in their underwear. Ive been watching gay porn for a long time, and Ive tried to watch straight porn and pics of naked girls, but they just dont do it for me. Im pretty sure Im gay, but when Im starting to feel comfortable about it, I get this thought that its all in my mind, and that unlike realy homosexuals, I could actually snap out of it, it terrifies me. Not the fact of being gay, but the fact of thinking I am but not really being. Can somebody help me?

[Anonymous]

When people begin to come out they can feel this way. It's a very big step and you start to think that you could be wrong about how you feel. Don't worry, I believe these feelings change after enough time, and when you get used to the idea that people know. Don't worry, you will be okay.

[Lexington]

There's a big sense of finality about coming out. Like you're crossing a line you can never uncross. And, for the most part, it's true - nearly all people who do come out don't ever look back. I know at least one high-profile gay man who later realized he was actually bisexual ("Nobody was more surprised than me."), but even then, he just said "Ends up I'm bisexual" and went ahead and married the woman he fell in love with.

Lex

[mnguy]

Give it some time and if you have the chance, go out with whomever you like. Maybe it'll be a guy or maybe a woman. Who says you have to declare your sexuality before you can date someone? Good luck

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I feel a bit like that when I meet a really nice girl. I usually say to myself how she'd be a nice wife... but for somebody else.

[TheEdend]

Something very similar happened to me when I started coming out to my close friends. Like you probably already figured out, though, the whole thing is an irrational fear. Just like any irrational fear, the only sure way to beat it is to confront it and force yourself to continue.

What I had to do was get a tangible way to let myself know that I knew who I was, that I was coming out and that it wasn't a mistake. Some people write themselves a letter to when they feel the doubts, some people, like me, buy a something to remind them and some other people say it to themselves every morning.

Hope it helps a bit