Sexuality/coming out question?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I'm straight, but my sexuality isn't completely "Normal." I have a fetish, and I am pretty comfortable with it. I told my best friend, and she thinks it's a little weird, but she's awesome and is cool with it.

My mom on the other hand, is a totally different story. We're Catholic, and she told me that if I was gay she'd start dumping holy water on me and make me take communion every day, so I got the vibe that sexuality differences aren't completely cool in her book. But she's my mom and I kinda feel like I SHOULD tell her, but I'm really afraid of what she'll say and do and that since I already have some mental health issues that she is going to put me in a psych hospital or my brother's psych day program.

So how do I even begin to start "coming out" with this?

[TheEdend]

I'm a little confused. What exactly is your fetish and why do you have the need to tell your mom about it?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious about this fetish you got...and like TheEdend has said, the fact that you'd be telling your mom about a fetish is incredibly intriguing.

[mnguy]

Sorry, I'm confused too. You are bi or gay? There's no need to tell your mom or anyone about some random fetish unless you want to. That's fully up to you.

Btw, if your mom thinks anyone will become straight by water, prayer, incantation, spell or other method, she is way wrong.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by TheEdend

I'm a little confused. What exactly is your fetish and why do you have the need to tell your mom about it?

It's kinda gross and embarrassing.... And I just sorta think that maybe she should know. idk. I guess I just want to know how to bring this up should I ever get intimate one day.

[Anonymous]

Okay so I guess what I was asking wasn't clear before (?) So I shall try this again (Not good at being not vague enough). I'm kinda asking how to tell someone really close to you I guess because in the future some time I DO want to get intimate, but I've kinda accepted this fetish as a part of my sexuality and don't know how to tell my partner. Plus heaven forbid my mom find out I kinda need a plan. just in case.

Was that clearer?

[Zontar]

Your mom doesn't have to know about your fetish. Kinks are personal things. Don't ever tell her.

This is the kind of thing you keep among the proper people...yourself, your partner, like-minded individuals, etc.

[TheEdend]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Okay so I guess what I was asking wasn't clear before (?) So I shall try this again (Not good at being not vague enough). I'm kinda asking how to tell someone really close to you I guess because in the future some time I DO want to get intimate, but I've kinda accepted this fetish as a part of my sexuality and don't know how to tell my partner. Plus heaven forbid my mom find out I kinda need a plan. just in case.

Was that clearer?

Telling a partner is easier than your mom. Just wait for the person who you are comfortable with and then let him know what you are into. Maybe they will give it a try or maybe they won't, but you can just let them know.

As for you mom, you can go ahead and let her know about your fetish if you want to, but know that you don't have to. Whatever you do between your partner and you its your business and no one really cares about it.

Why do you need your mom to understand? Why is she ever going to find out in the first place?

If you want to discuss it more privately feel free to PM me or any of the staff. We aren't here to judge

[Homo Novus]

When you find the right partner, and you are in a strong relationship, trust me, they will not judge you based on your fetish. Just make sure you establish a very honest and free relationship, and encourage your partner to tell you what they do/don't like... and you do the same. Just come out with it (When you're comfortable) and just tell them they don't need to be into it or anything... but that you hope they accept it, and that you just wanted to be open and honest about it. If they truly love you for who you are, they won't go anywhere, no matter what it is.

As for your mom... there's no reason she would ever find out. Your sex life and your family life SHOULD remain seperate. I love my mom to death, and of course I want her to know me, and know that I'm gay and that I'm in love with a girl... but I will NEVER discuss my preferences in bed with her, y'know what I mean!?

[mnguy]

Maybe the OP is worried that the partner would tell people if they break up later. You know, messy break up, deep dark secret now becomes public info. on the internet or maybe an email to his mom. You probably shouldn't trust anyone with the info unless you're ok with it becoming public info.