How do I get over social anxiety?

[Anonymous]

I recently joined this club in college and I really like it.
I made few acquaintances and most of the people there are nice people.
The only thing is, I sometimes have irrational fear for social events.
For instance, tomorrow (friday evening) the club is having a social event just for the members to hang out, chill, eat dinner...etc.
But I honestly do not know how to hang out or chill with people I don't REALLY know. I mean I now know at least their faces, names, what major...etc but they are hardly people I would regard as friends. Also I never go out on friday nights so this is definitely out of my comfort zone.
I really want to know how to be comfortable in these innocuous social events but even before I go I feel panicky. But it's not like I don't want to hang out either. At the same time, I have no sense of humor, I don't usually get jokes in the first place, and I can be so awkward (and not in a cute dorky way either) and stiff with people I'm totally comfortable with. I would appreciate comments or advice. Thanks.

[Kidd]

I used to be the same way but you just have to get over it and take the plunge, and I know that sounds so much easier than it really is.

You're going to be uncomfortable at first, and you're going to feel a little awkward and out of place but the more you're exposed to these situations the better off you'll be. Practice makes perfect. Eventually you'll move beyond that. If you want or if you can, take a friend with you to the event. That way you'll feel more comfortable since you already know someone there and you can play off of each other. When I was trying to deal with this I was attached at the hip to my best friends at every single party I ever went to but not anymore.

If you're feeling really awkward and nervous and panicky other people are going to pick up on that and respond the same way. Just go in and relax, literally take it minute by minute. If someone offers something, don't even think about it, just say yes. In fact, you should say yes to every single social function you're invited to for the next few months. Even if you know you're going to hate it and it's going to be a total disaster, go for it, I don't care. It's a fun story to tell the next time you're out.

No one is asking or expecting or demanding that you be the life of the party though. Just be yourself. Don't try to put on an act.

[Chouchou]

[YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

At the same time, I have no sense of humor, I don't usually get jokes in the first place, and I can be so awkward (and not in a cute dorky way either) and stiff with people I'm totally comfortable with. I would appreciate comments or advice. Thanks.

I'm much the same way, though lately I've improved from where I was before due to hanging out with friends on a regular basis. Like Kidd said, the way to get more comfortable is to force yourself to go to these social events, even if it means going to ones in which you know literally no one except your friends. At first, you'll be uncomfortable and immediately regret going; it's okay if you just sit there and observe, or hang around your friends. Eventually, after you've gotten some experience upon observing how others interact at these events, you'll gain enough confidence to attend future events without support from anyone.

[Anonymous]

Omg, Your situation is identical to mine. Being social is a lot easier when you have a great sense of humor, because it seems like 90 percent of the conversations around me are completely centered around making jokes and trying to get other people to laugh (not saying this is bad or anything). Its hard to be an equal participant in these conversations when you simply don't have a great sense of humor.

I don't have any specific advice. Personally I just except the fact that right now I'm just not as socially skilled as a lot of my peers in college, but that its not the end of the world and I will grow in that sector of my life as long as I keep putting myself out there every now and then.

[Anonymous]

OP here,
so, last night was pretty fun. Not over-the-top fun but nonetheless it was actually better than I thought it would be. It seems like I always panic over social situations more than I should. I occasionally talked, and lot of times just listened to people talking and just hanging out, and I actually did laugh because I got the jokes and stuff. It was intimate dinner so that was good for me, I usually get lost in the crowd easily but I can handle smaller social situations better.
Thanks for advice guys. You guys are right-it does seem to be okay (or not disastrous as I always imagine before going) when I'm put in the situation whether I like it or not, and I think I'll get used to social stuff once I'm more exposed to them.