"Gold-Star Lesbian"? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Anonymous · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:00 PM

This is a post for us to discuss if we are/aren't a "gold star lesbian." It doesn't matter in the end but thought it might be interesting. What are you?

hml8 · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:11 PM

haha. I am not a gold-star lesbian, I spent many years trying to pursuade myself and everyone else around me that I was straight! haha

Anonymous · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:21 PM

Lol, yeah I am a "gold-star lesbian."

midwestgirl89 · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:22 PM

^^ That was me. Oops forgot to uncheck it.

Tiny Catastrophe · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:22 PM

Definitely not. I've slept with more guys than girls actually :/

kiersten · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:26 PM

Despite being quite confused & curious about my sexuality for the last few months (& I'll admit, the idea of experimenting with guys has crossed my mind A LOT in the last 2 months), Ive still only ever been with girls, so I guess since I identify as a lesbian, that would also make me a 'gold-star lesbian'! lol!

IDK why some people in the LGBT community feel it is necessary that we have names for stuff like this, since it really isnt important if a lesbian has or was been with a guy before she came out as gay. I know no one on EC would care about a small thing like this, but it is amusing that categorizing lesbians into groups is done. Technically, I came out as trans & as lesbian at the end of June, so some would say that Im also a 'baby dyke'. Honestly, I look at it as I do with sexuality, who cares about putting a label on it, just go out, be yourself & love who you love!

Chouchou · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:38 PM

I think "No Star" would be more appropriate to describe me, unless we can earn stars before we've had sex at least once. Then again, if even feeling anything that may remotely be construed as "crushes" on men disqualifies someone from being "gold star", then I guess I'm "silver star".

Maybe I'm thinking into this too much. Why should it even matter whether a lesbian has or hasn't slept with men? Demanding purity is ridiculous, and I just don't understand the need to discriminate within a group that's already dealing with a great deal of discrimination as it is.

Shevanel · 3rd Feb 2012, 01:47 PM

I think the idea of being "rewarded" or "praised" for being a thing like a "gold star lesbian" (same with dudes) is absolutely ridiculous. Absolutely.

midwestgirl89 · 3rd Feb 2012, 02:13 PM

I agree that I don't think it should matter whether you are "gold star" or not. It isn't that big of a deal. Plus it puts more of a label on people than is needed. We are all gay, whether we're gold star or not.

Anonymous · 3rd Feb 2012, 02:59 PM

im not a lesbian but i'm curious about lesbian culture and sayings. what is a gold star lesbian. is thtat someone that has only been with girls and no guys? if there are other lesbian sayings let me knwo. i would like to learn about your people and your sayings. teach me your ways.

silverhalo · 3rd Feb 2012, 03:01 PM

Yeah Gold star lesbian, a woman/girl that has only been with girls.

Not that I condone labeling or categorization but this site outlines many lesbian terms, if you are interested.

Label Me Lesbian: A Guide to Types of Lesbians by ~mayahuskee on deviantART

Anonymous · 3rd Feb 2012, 03:04 PM

^^^^
thank you this was most helpful and comprehensive. seems like a lot to learn.

silverhalo · 3rd Feb 2012, 03:39 PM

Its ok you dont have to pass a test to get your gay badge, otherwise I would certainly have failed

maverick · 3rd Feb 2012, 03:40 PM

Nope, no gold star for me. I've only slept with men. But I look forward to earning my silver though.

kiersten · 3rd Feb 2012, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

i would like to learn about your people and your sayings. teach me your ways.

I read this & the first thing that popped into my head was 'Take me to your leader.' lol! Hmm, I wonder...

Jessica816 · 3rd Feb 2012, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiersten

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

i would like to learn about your people and your sayings. teach me your ways.

I read this & the first thing that popped into my head was 'Take me to your leader.' lol! Hmm, I wonder...

Haha me to! Voice and all...Nope very much not a gold star and im very much okay with that.

heatqueen · 4th Feb 2012, 03:52 AM

Pff I can definitely forget being a gold star. I'm not a fan of those terms anyway. :/

dreamcatcher · 4th Feb 2012, 11:51 AM

I'm with Chouchou on this one. I'm more of a no star lesbian. I would think that it would be more common for lesbians to have at least slept with one guy considering the social pressures of being straight. I think nowadays we'll probably find more "gold star lesbians" since homosexuality is becoming more and more accepted with each generation.

Oh and silverhalo that label me lesbian site was very informative. Who knew there were so many labels.

Homo Novus · 4th Feb 2012, 12:04 PM

My girlfriend likes to call me a "five-star" lesbian. Not quite gold stars, because I dated a guy for nearly three years because of the whole hetero norm and not having figured myself out yet... I did stuff of a sexual nature with him, but never went "all the way" with a guy, hence the "five stars".

Anonymous · 4th Feb 2012, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hml8

haha. I am not a gold-star lesbian, I spent many years trying to pursuade myself and everyone else around me that I was straight! haha

I agree with this one.

3rd Feb 2012, 01:00 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,219 Join Date: Dec 2007	"Gold-Star Lesbian"? This is a post for us to discuss if we are/aren't a "gold star lesbian." It doesn't matter in the end but thought it might be interesting. What are you?

3rd Feb 2012, 01:11 PM	#2
hml8 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Canterbury, Kent or Southend, Essex Age: 21 Posts: 424 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? haha. I am not a gold-star lesbian, I spent many years trying to pursuade myself and everyone else around me that I was straight! haha __________________ 'I feel pretty, Oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay' . . . hums on

3rd Feb 2012, 01:21 PM	#3
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,219 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? Lol, yeah I am a "gold-star lesbian."

3rd Feb 2012, 01:22 PM	#4
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 548 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? ^^ That was me. Oops forgot to uncheck it.

3rd Feb 2012, 01:22 PM	#5
Tiny Catastrophe Love is genderless <3 Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: 2 sisters, mom, friends, school Location: New Yorkish Age: 19 Posts: 862 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? Definitely not. I've slept with more guys than girls actually :/ __________________ Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you cant remember a time in your life when it wasnt but then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because its so unfamiliar. Then in that moment you realize you're happy.

3rd Feb 2012, 01:26 PM	#6
kiersten KierstenChromium, Mistress Of Metal Full Member Gender: Transgender - MtF Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to 127 people & my parents & 1 cousin so far Location: Sarnia, ON Posts: 1,328 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? Despite being quite confused & curious about my sexuality for the last few months (& I'll admit, the idea of experimenting with guys has crossed my mind A LOT in the last 2 months), Ive still only ever been with girls, so I guess since I identify as a lesbian, that would also make me a 'gold-star lesbian'! lol! IDK why some people in the LGBT community feel it is necessary that we have names for stuff like this, since it really isnt important if a lesbian has or was been with a guy before she came out as gay. I know no one on EC would care about a small thing like this, but it is amusing that categorizing lesbians into groups is done. Technically, I came out as trans & as lesbian at the end of June, so some would say that Im also a 'baby dyke'. Honestly, I look at it as I do with sexuality, who cares about putting a label on it, just go out, be yourself & love who you love! __________________ Penny: What's Sheldon's deal? Leonard: What do you mean "deal"? Penny : You know, like, what's his deal? Is it girls? Guys? Sock puppets? Leonard: Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.

3rd Feb 2012, 01:38 PM	#7
Chouchou Warrior Goddess Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Homosexual (asexual?) and mostly homoromantic Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 26 Posts: 1,102 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? I think "No Star" would be more appropriate to describe me, unless we can earn stars before we've had sex at least once. Then again, if even feeling anything that may remotely be construed as "crushes" on men disqualifies someone from being "gold star", then I guess I'm "silver star". Maybe I'm thinking into this too much. Why should it even matter whether a lesbian has or hasn't slept with men? Demanding purity is ridiculous, and I just don't understand the need to discriminate within a group that's already dealing with a great deal of discrimination as it is. __________________ "The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Last edited by Chouchou; 3rd Feb 2012 at 01:46 PM..

3rd Feb 2012, 01:47 PM	#8
Shevanel One Is Light. One Is Dark. Full Member Gender: The Dude Orientation: Bi-Winning Out Status: Everybody and Your Mom. Location: Bolivar, Ohio (From NY though) Age: 21 Posts: 7,672 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? I think the idea of being "rewarded" or "praised" for being a thing like a "gold star lesbian" (same with dudes) is absolutely ridiculous. Absolutely. __________________ If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now. Gonna wait it out... Be patient.

3rd Feb 2012, 02:13 PM	#9
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 548 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? I agree that I don't think it should matter whether you are "gold star" or not. It isn't that big of a deal. Plus it puts more of a label on people than is needed. We are all gay, whether we're gold star or not.

3rd Feb 2012, 02:59 PM	#10
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,219 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? im not a lesbian but i'm curious about lesbian culture and sayings. what is a gold star lesbian. is thtat someone that has only been with girls and no guys? if there are other lesbian sayings let me knwo. i would like to learn about your people and your sayings. teach me your ways.

3rd Feb 2012, 03:01 PM	#11
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 29 Posts: 3,141 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? Yeah Gold star lesbian, a woman/girl that has only been with girls. Not that I condone labeling or categorization but this site outlines many lesbian terms, if you are interested. Label Me Lesbian: A Guide to Types of Lesbians by ~mayahuskee on deviantART

3rd Feb 2012, 03:04 PM	#12
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 34,219 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? ^^^^ thank you this was most helpful and comprehensive. seems like a lot to learn.

3rd Feb 2012, 03:39 PM	#13
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 29 Posts: 3,141 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? Its ok you dont have to pass a test to get your gay badge, otherwise I would certainly have failed

3rd Feb 2012, 03:40 PM	#14
maverick let watchers become warriors Full Member Gender: You tell me. Orientation: Hey good lookin'. wink Out Status: It's pretty obvious. Location: Alabama cue banjos Age: 26 Posts: 2,118 Join Date: Nov 2010	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? Nope, no gold star for me. I've only slept with men. But I look forward to earning my silver though. __________________ Shelter me oh genius words, just give me strength / to pen these things, and give me peace to well her wings / and oh, oh carry on, all you minstrels of the world, we will catch our lady's ear, we will win for us the girl.

4th Feb 2012, 03:52 AM	#17
heatqueen Official #1 fan of Celine Dion Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual/Homoromantic bisexual Out Status: Generally whoever asks Location: I travel a lot Age: 20 Posts: 5,703 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? Pff I can definitely forget being a gold star. I'm not a fan of those terms anyway. :/ __________________ Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Co-founder of the 'Sailor Moon Made Me Gay' club...and the lesbians.

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4th Feb 2012, 11:51 AM	#18
dreamcatcher EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: lesbian and still working on accepting it Out Status: A few people Location: Florida Age: 20 Posts: 297 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? I'm with Chouchou on this one. I'm more of a no star lesbian. I would think that it would be more common for lesbians to have at least slept with one guy considering the social pressures of being straight. I think nowadays we'll probably find more "gold star lesbians" since homosexuality is becoming more and more accepted with each generation. Oh and silverhalo that label me lesbian site was very informative. Who knew there were so many labels.

4th Feb 2012, 12:04 PM	#19
Homo Novus ...A homo novus, if you will. Full Member Gender: Estrogen-based organism Orientation: Totally queer Out Status: My closet's for clothes. Location: P.E.I., Canada Age: 20 Posts: 157 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: "Gold-Star Lesbian"? My girlfriend likes to call me a "five-star" lesbian. Not quite gold stars, because I dated a guy for nearly three years because of the whole hetero norm and not having figured myself out yet... I did stuff of a sexual nature with him, but never went "all the way" with a guy, hence the "five stars".