isolation

[Anonymous]

i feel like im completely isolating myself from everyone cuz im still in the closet..the only people i seems to talk to all the time are my friends that im out to in my home town..but i dont live there anymore..and i used to hang out with my friends that live here more but as the days go on i seem to have less and less motivation to talk to them or hang out with them but at the same time i feel lonely now and i feel like im gonna end up with no friends because of this

[Anonymous]

i can relate. i used to hang out with my friends a lot but as the years when on i felt less and less excited to hang out with them. not because they were bad or mean people it just felt like it was too much pressure to be around them with all tlhe questions and asking me where my girlfriend was. i didn't want to lie but i also did not want to tell the truth. so i avoided them. i really didn't have any gay friends so basically i started to isolate myself. i felt i was too straight for the gays and not straight enough for the straights. also the things and places i used to go with them no longer interested me because they were places to "meet people" but they were always straight and the purpose was meeting opposite sex. at first it was fun in my new city because i didn't know anyone so it was fun to meet new friends. but after a while i got tired of meeting "friends" and wanted someone that i could date too. i wish i had more advice and i know others will say "come out, you will feel better". all i can say is isolation is not good. maybe u can start a new fresh friend group based on people and activities that may be more conducive to your gay identity. maybe find "gay friendly" groups that you can meet new opeople without havin to specificaly say you are gay. once you are ready you can come out but until then maybe meeting people in friendly groups may be a good options to help you as you transition.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to come out to that group of friends have you considered trying to find new or other friends you can come out to? It's sometimes easier if you can find a group of people that you're pretty sure won't know your current friends. You can be out from the beginning with them and it might take some of the pressure off some of your other friendships.

[Anonymous]

i would love to have a group of gay or gay friendly friends that i could be out to from the beginning...but i just dont know where i would meet a new set of friends.

see, when i moved here i started school right away...and thats where i met all my friends but now that i graduated the friendships just arent nearly as strong..and since they arent as strong..i dont think i would want to risk coming out and losing them completely...but like i said..i would love to make more friends..i just have a hard time making friends ..i dont know what to do or where to go

Im sure ill make more friends at work once i get a job..but people in my field of work (cosmetology) arent going to be as gay friendly and im most likely wont meet any lesbians at work...maybe gay guys i suppose haha

[Anonymous]

well the gay guys will know some lesbians. gays of a feather, flock together. good luck

[Anonymous]

Gays of a feather, flock together? Isn't it birds of a feather? Was that like a Freudian slip, or something you did on purpose? I love it either way

[Anonymous]

I ended up with a homophobic group of friends throughout middle and high school. I felt alone and ashamed even though I had friends and still have not come out to any of them or I don't see a point in doing that. I tried to mingle with other groups but my shyness got in the way of that and I was a socially awkward person. In my school experience groups were so tight and somewhat sheltered like no one new can enter unless your a foreign exchange student or a jock so it was hard for me. I still struggle to make new friends right now i am living in a apartment in my hometown and i don't have any friends in my area or a car to get to them unless I take a bus or get a ride. So i get what your going through and if you think you can trust your friends i would come out to them. Because there are some people no matter if they are homophobic or not that just cannot keep a secret and will spread the news quickly. Right now I am lonely with no friends in town but I will not let that stop me from living my life and i would suggest moving to a larger city where you could run into more gay friendly people something I am trying so hard to do.