Awkward settings

[Anonymous]

Hello... I just found this site today (thank god) and could use some advice. A friend of mine invited me to a concert with him and his friends, and I'm a little worried about it. We hang out about once every four months, but it's usually just the two of us. I'm worried that I won't get along with his friends. I'm very self conscious right now, and have been flying solo for the past year trying to transfer universities.... which means no time for fun or socializing. I can't even remember the last time I went out with a group of people my age. Anyone else been in that situation where you know one person, then they ditch for a while, and you're sitting there awkwardly pretending to text on your phone? and if so, what did you tell yourself to help you to loosen up? He's not the type that would do this to me, but just in case.

Also, some things about me. As you can probably tell, I have a little case of social anxiety. I am NOT out.... From what I can tell, I'm doing a good job at keeping it under the radar, and I have a huge crush on the friend mentioned above.

[Filip]

Yeah, it used to happen to me a lot. I dare say I was pretty good at pretending I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and then pretend there was a message I just HAD to reply to. Or pretending I spotted an acquaintance in the distance, and absconding for 15 minutes or so.

However: even with social anxieties, it is better to try and get some conversation going. And usually one of the best tricks is to prepare a couple of conversation topics ahead of time. I'm not a social butterfly, but through trial and error I dare say I have built up a small library of things I can try (and feel comfortable doing so).

And I think that in this case, you do have an icebreaker right in front of your nose: the concert itself!

Since they're all there, I'm assuming they at least have some kind of opinion on who's playing, what they're playing, and how they're playing it. So there's already a couple of things you can use as a conversation starter.
Plus, in my experience, if a common friend leaves you and his other friends alone together for a bit, the one failsafe question you can pose is "So, how did you and [common friend] meet?" or "So, you and [common friend] hang out lots?" Even just exchanging anecdotes kan kill 5 minutes, and you usually find out some commonalities.

Also important: try to involve yourself in as many conversations as possible when your friend is there. Make sure you listen to what they say and that they can hear you open your mouth every so often. It's less stressful when your friend is near, and if you build some small bit of rapport while he's present, it gets less daunting if he's not around for a short time.

In any case: don't focus on how it has been a long time since you were away with people your age! Remind yourself that if you like this friend, and he likes them, odds are they have a better than average chance of being at least "good acquaintance" material for you!