I think I have spent so much time alone/single that.. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Anonymous · 27th Jun 2012, 11:25 AM

If I come out.. I don't think I know how to have a relationship.

maxx · 27th Jun 2012, 11:54 AM

Having a relationship is like lots of other things - you need to practice. None of us know how to interact with people at the start - it takes a bit of faith and vulnerability to put ourselves out there and get some experience. We get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but that's what life is about.

The rest of the world is waiting to meet you... especially that someone special that wants to build a life with you.

Best wishes as you venture out into the full-contact sport known as life.

Maxx

SkyDiver · 27th Jun 2012, 10:38 PM

Who says you need to have a relationship right after you come out? Take your time.

**Filip** · 28th Jun 2012, 02:02 AM

Relationships are like bikes, really. You can study bikes for 10 years, knowing everything there is to know about them... and then hop on one and lose your balance straight away. There's no substitute for experience. But it's only by the falling that you learn just how to ride a bike. And often, the bike is sturdier than you think, and it can survive a few falls too.

So, I think that when you come out, and you see the opportunity for a relationship, the only way to go is to move forward and see where it goes. Don't see it as a "but I waited so long to come out! I must do this perfectly on the first try!"
See it as a "hey, this is more of a relationship than what I had before, so it's progress!"

And if you really feel stumped... there's still this place to vent and ask for input

More to the point, though: do work on coming out. It's easy to be scared at what happens five steps down the road, but taking that first step can do a lot of good. Do you have anyone in your life that you think would make a good candidate for a first coming out?

adam88 · 28th Jun 2012, 05:11 AM

I got into my first relationship at 29. Trust me, it comes naturally.

27th Jun 2012, 11:25 AM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 50,987 Join Date: Dec 2007	I think I have spent so much time alone/single that.. If I come out.. I don't think I know how to have a relationship.

27th Jun 2012, 11:54 AM	#2
maxx Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay, Still Married Out Status: Everyone Location: San Francisco Posts: 166 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: I think I have spent so much time alone/single that.. Having a relationship is like lots of other things - you need to practice. None of us know how to interact with people at the start - it takes a bit of faith and vulnerability to put ourselves out there and get some experience. We get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but that's what life is about. The rest of the world is waiting to meet you... especially that someone special that wants to build a life with you. Best wishes as you venture out into the full-contact sport known as life. Maxx __________________ This above all: to thine own self be true It is never too late to become the person you were meant to be

27th Jun 2012, 10:38 PM	#3
SkyDiver ภูมิใจที่ได้เป็นเกย์ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Alberta Posts: 1,758 Join Date: Mar 2012 Tournaments Won: 3	Re: I think I have spent so much time alone/single that.. Who says you need to have a relationship right after you come out? Take your time.

28th Jun 2012, 02:02 AM	#4
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 29 Posts: 3,698 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: I think I have spent so much time alone/single that.. Relationships are like bikes, really. You can study bikes for 10 years, knowing everything there is to know about them... and then hop on one and lose your balance straight away. There's no substitute for experience. But it's only by the falling that you learn just how to ride a bike. And often, the bike is sturdier than you think, and it can survive a few falls too. So, I think that when you come out, and you see the opportunity for a relationship, the only way to go is to move forward and see where it goes. Don't see it as a "but I waited so long to come out! I must do this perfectly on the first try!" See it as a "hey, this is more of a relationship than what I had before, so it's progress!" And if you really feel stumped... there's still this place to vent and ask for input More to the point, though: do work on coming out. It's easy to be scared at what happens five steps down the road, but taking that first step can do a lot of good. Do you have anyone in your life that you think would make a good candidate for a first coming out? __________________ To the world, you're somebody, but to somebody, you're the world...

28th Jun 2012, 05:11 AM	#5
adam88 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual. Or bi. Same thing. Out Status: Yes. Location: Toronto, Canada Age: 31 Posts: 836 Join Date: Nov 2009	Re: I think I have spent so much time alone/single that.. I got into my first relationship at 29. Trust me, it comes naturally. __________________ --Brendan A coming out is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is it early. You come out precisely when you mean to. -not Gandalf

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
The time I realized I'm gay	kunglaomksm	Coming Out Stories	3	20th Sep 2011 07:07 AM
I think its time.	EM68	Coming Out Advice	20	7th Jan 2009 03:54 PM
here mine comming out Storie	Mad Markie	Coming Out Stories	9	17th Nov 2008 07:42 AM
The best time ever in LA's gay community (in West Holly.): in this one nightclub	LowestVocal017	Chit Chat	1	21st Jan 2008 01:47 PM
On Vacation-Having a bit of a rough time.	katmando	Coming Out Advice	3	16th Oct 2007 08:00 AM